Taken Back

This is the 3rd poem continuing from Ugly Reality and I own You….Branded. Please note this deals with abuse and the imagery used here may possibly trigger memories and pain. Please read only if comfortable.
Sitting
lank hair falling forward
screened face
hiding
all looking at me
all searching
seeking
answers.
Hands
limp between thighs
cuffed together
where do they think I will go?
What do they think I will do?
Blood
slow
spreads not like water
thicker
steady movement
a splash of paint
drying on pale walls.
Voices
come hard
fade away
lost in the past
in spells of memory.
You were not this way
you were not so cold
those first days of love.
You held my hand
wove tales of futures unknown
pulled me in
pulled me close
sucked me in
then the abuse began.
Pinches causing bruises
punches placed
hidden from sight
scratches
you even raped me.
Not once
not twice
over and over again
mind
body
soul.
It became too much.
I could no longer contain
rage
simmering
burning
beneath the surface
out of reach.
I provoked it.
I pushed.
I pulled.
I knew how to do it.
I found my pride 
I found my worth
you bloody bastard
I return your curse.
I warned you.
This was the last time you would touch me.
You laughed
face contorted in rage
reaching one last time.
My face swells
blood dried on my clothes
torn
rended clean
pitying glances
I no longer care
for finally
you are gone.
Sometimes the Angel of Death only plays.
Sometimes the Angel of Death arrives
Upon Pale Horse 
decreed it has been said
to take home the unblessed.
©March 1/20
Picture via Pinterest

11 Days to Go (Loving Myself)

Feelings
wrangled
caught
tossed aside
easier
to be non-feeling
to care not
than to accept…..
Abuse
wretched
damaging
turmoil wrought
turned my life to a nightmare
hiding
running
pain untold.
Addiction
ruination
addled
hidden from self
denial
rapt with lies
no matter how I try
caught in a vicious cycle
never able to end.
Recovery
light
happy
acknowledged
little girl lost
little girl found
learning to accept myself
learning to forgive myself
learning to be myself.
I know
but as the saying goes
better late then never.
Now…..
now I am loving my life
I am loving me
©Dec. 12/19
Picture is my own

Old lady by the Sea

High atop the frothing sea
waves shattering on the shore
bleak
grey
no sense of wonder
no one comes here any more.
Once used for galas
for entertainment
for bringing together
societal equals
pauper poets
inebriated journalists
sober judges
the list can go on and on.
When lit up at night
the mansion gleamed
history seeping from the stones
at every turn.
Time can be a harsh mistress
sea salt
sea winds
land winds
causing the rocks to tumble.
Once a proud maiden true
his parsimonious nature
has turned her into a bitter old woman
turned in on her memories
as ghosts of the past
dance through forgotten halls
to music no one can hear.
August 29/18

Photo by Steije Hillewaert on Unsplash

Long Live the Resistance

Standing upon the podium

fist raised in triumph

that ghastly grin

upon the Goblin’s face

was more than I could bear.

Using cheap tricks

distraction

fear

he pulled the population over

the Goblin population

to his side.

Gritting my teeth

I watch and wonder

am I able to do this?

Knowing that death may ring out?

He begins to speak

a rambling monologue

which I detest.

How the lands were going to be good again

that the Goblins will seize the day

no longer will those wishy washy fairies have any say

as he has won for all of them.

I shake my head

squint my eyes

finger just touching the trigger

mid-word the Goblin is cut off.

Ariana what did you do?’

‘I told him to be succinct

I told him to keep it short

or I was going to cut him down.’

The Goblin dude

he stood there a long time

expounding

bragging

never realizing that his audience was gone.

P.S. We do have the tape of the Goblin making his speech to empty air. Dubbing can be a fun tool to have.

Photo by Matt Pritchard on Unsplash