Taken Back

This is the 3rd poem continuing from Ugly Reality and I own You….Branded. Please note this deals with abuse and the imagery used here may possibly trigger memories and pain. Please read only if comfortable.
Sitting
lank hair falling forward
screened face
hiding
all looking at me
all searching
seeking
answers.
Hands
limp between thighs
cuffed together
where do they think I will go?
What do they think I will do?
Blood
slow
spreads not like water
thicker
steady movement
a splash of paint
drying on pale walls.
Voices
come hard
fade away
lost in the past
in spells of memory.
You were not this way
you were not so cold
those first days of love.
You held my hand
wove tales of futures unknown
pulled me in
pulled me close
sucked me in
then the abuse began.
Pinches causing bruises
punches placed
hidden from sight
scratches
you even raped me.
Not once
not twice
over and over again
mind
body
soul.
It became too much.
I could no longer contain
rage
simmering
burning
beneath the surface
out of reach.
I provoked it.
I pushed.
I pulled.
I knew how to do it.
I found my pride 
I found my worth
you bloody bastard
I return your curse.
I warned you.
This was the last time you would touch me.
You laughed
face contorted in rage
reaching one last time.
My face swells
blood dried on my clothes
torn
rended clean
pitying glances
I no longer care
for finally
you are gone.
Sometimes the Angel of Death only plays.
Sometimes the Angel of Death arrives
Upon Pale Horse 
decreed it has been said
to take home the unblessed.
©March 1/20
Picture via Pinterest

11 Days to Go (Loving Myself)

Feelings
wrangled
caught
tossed aside
easier
to be non-feeling
to care not
than to accept…..
Abuse
wretched
damaging
turmoil wrought
turned my life to a nightmare
hiding
running
pain untold.
Addiction
ruination
addled
hidden from self
denial
rapt with lies
no matter how I try
caught in a vicious cycle
never able to end.
Recovery
light
happy
acknowledged
little girl lost
little girl found
learning to accept myself
learning to forgive myself
learning to be myself.
I know
but as the saying goes
better late then never.
Now…..
now I am loving my life
I am loving me
©Dec. 12/19
Picture is my own