One Full Year

One year ago today I made the decision to quit drinking.
It was a Saturday and I finally faced the truth of the matter.
Quit or die.
No other choice really.
I drank a 66 oz and half of a 28 oz bottle of Rye throughout the weekend and week before July 18/20.
That is a whole helluv a lot of alcohol going into my body and my liver processing it.
I was embarrassed.
I was sickened.
I had had enough.
I have not told many people about the fact that I have quit drinking.
Lately I have become a little more forthcoming.
One of my regular customers works part-time at the LC.
Did not know as he started there after I quit drinking.
But I did tell him that that was why I did not know…..because I no longer went in there.
Another customer wanted to take me for a beer and when I said that I did not drink he asked why.
I could have said nothing and switched the subject but I was honest with him.
And he said: Good for you for knowing that you had to quit.
To celebrate my year’s sobriety I ordered a cake from work.
Or rather I picked out my Jeanne’s Cake. (Pronounced Genie)
Jeanne cakes are either you love them or you hate them.
No middle ground.
Made at a bakery in Winnipeg, my first taste of one came when I was just six weeks old at my Christening.
My Amma had brought one and I got to taste the frosting.
Every year on my birthday until I started to have parties I had a Jeanne’s cake.
I picked out a chocolate with chocolate frosting and took it to the girls in the Bakery.
I worked until 9 p.m. last night and sent J into the bakery to get my cake.
I couldn’t go in there while working as it would have melted and after work it would look funny.
When she came out with it she was smiling and said oh this is exciting!
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Today I posted a pic of the cake to both my Insta and Facebook accounts.
I am doing the social media equivalent to standing on the rooftop and screaming my news to the world.
And with each person’s congratulations; with each I am so proud of you tears fill my eyes.
With each tear that drops the shackles that alcohol helped to bind me in are fully corroded and falling at my feet.
My inner strength amazes me.
My desire to be a better person; a more present person amazes me.
When you are no longer selfish; when you no longer have the veneer of self deception that an addiction to alcohol gives you; when finally you are striped bare of all your outer trappings and look truthfully at your soul; that is when true freedom begins.
©July 18/21
Pictures is my own
First time in 6 months that I was able to visit my wonderful hairdresser on Friday.
I love when she straightens my hair. 🙂

Math & T.V.

Last night T and me are working on his dreaded math extra work. But it is not so dreaded when it gets down to it. All they have to do is write out the steps to show how they arrive at answer. Same way I learned just longer and time wasting but who am I to argue with the great minds who came up with this ‘new’ math.
However not what this is about.
T did the 2nd question himself and he came slow close. It is when he transfers # over that he is losing something. The pencil he is using has thick lead maybe a finer clicker pencil will help. He did awesome job and even though we forgot some places he felt more confident. He even said ‘mom after this I will bring home more to work on.’ ‘Math?’ ‘Yes math. Hey mom can you teach me to type like you type? I mean I know how to type but it is hard on laptop.’ 
This here is the following reenactment of actual events. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. No one was harmed in the making of this event. 
I looked over at him a little musically. 
‘Sure. But The keyboard layout is the same as the typewriter I used to teach myself on?’
‘A typewriter?’ T states at me like I have grown two more heads.
‘Um yes a typewriter. I took typing class because it was an easy A elective and as I wanted to be a writer I could not be typing two fingered. So I sat with my book and over the weekend taught myself to type. After that it was fine tuning finger placement.’
I showed him where my fingers were placed. Was told I did not know my finger names. Turns out Pointer Finger is a technical term. Who knew?
‘So mom if you didn’t have computers how did you watch t.v.?’
Well how the hell do I know? I told him there were big round things that bounced signals around.I have no idea what I am talking about so I am making large arm movements to distract him from the jibberish falling from my lips. 
‘And mom if there were no computers how did they make t.v. shows?’
‘They filmed them with a camera. Like today.’
‘But how did it get into your t.v.?’
I could only look at him. I have no idea what to say to him. He hugs me and takes off into his room while I sat there. Bemused and chuckling I am in for the adventure of a lifetime and we are just getting started.
March 7/19