No Longer The One

Did you think that I would never know?
Never recall?
Or shy from the pain those memories bring
shoveling down
covering with addiction;
but I knew
in the back of my mind
where the locked chest
of things I do not want to deal with
of things I do not want to acknowledge
resides.
Destroyed my childhood.
Destroyed my teenage years.
Destroyed me as a young adult.
It took me a long time
to right the wrong I did to myself
in the name of the father
who harmed me so.
Your voice
no longer the one on repeat
your face
no longer able to haunt my dreams
your death
took from me the ability to make you pay
so I use my imagination instead.
©Sept. 21/22

The Devil’s Gift

I cannot pluck your eyes.
I cannot tear your tongue.
I cannot rip out,
hold before your dying eyes
bleeding heart
talons curling inward
piercing
anguished cries rise.
Cruel sneer
warps my lips.
Beseeching
you look upwards
(forgiveness?)
Crumpling slowly
knees giving way
blood spools from your pain…..
Only things that I can imagine
or so I thought until last night;
The Devil did come
and unto me he whispered those longed for words:
come with me
see the rot
watch the pustules erupt
boiling tar
sins of the father
never again visited upon the daughter.
To Be Continued…..
©Sept. 19/22
Picture via Pinterest: Uploaded by Sydney Hansard

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