Judicator & Gutter

Twisted
snake like
curving
almost a bird
child version
dip in
towards the eye
back out
across curve of cheek
down along jaw line
pain
intense
braided scar.
Thoughtful
stiletto tapped
walk around
fingers trace
eyes
terrified
whimpers behind the gag.
Sardonic grin
euphoria
crested bubbles
through my veins
devilish laughter
echoes
I will decide your fate.
I was told
confronting the one who raped me.
Who knew?
Guess they were correct
as I buried
knife to hilt
through your heart
my heart
began to beat anew.
©May 20/20
Picture via Pinterest

Brutalized Harmony

Agonized moan
crawling forward
digging fingers to dirt
pull self along
left to burn
left to bleed
indomitable will…..
I will not die.
Hands
so many hands
tearing
ripping clothes
pulling hair
closed fist to the face
I do not 
I did not
I should never have been brutalized.
Taken to a party
fed booze
pills
drugs
good time girl
rumor had it
not my truth
yet you did believe it.
Face blushed
covered in scarlet hue
eyes burn
pain
rage…..
must find help
must find it now
I shall not die
I will come for you
you may want to hide.
©April 3/20
Picture via Pinterest

I am not a Monster

Malicious laughter
grating in ear
hair gripped tight
hands grabbing
holding
pulling free
tearing clothing off
taking what does not belong
nor freely given.
Heavy breath
face pressed to concrete
tears
unshed
glitter on lashes
bite marks
guttural moan
you are done with me.
Little white boy
daddy’s paid
cronies bought
rape
turned into…..
between two drunken teens.
Liar
liar
pants on fire
you heard me say no…..
you heard me say no motherfucker 
two more times.
Innocent you are
judged so
by misogynistic men
with black skeletons
dastardly sins
locked in their own closets.
You begged.
You pleaded.
You screamed no.
Over…..
and over…..
and over.
Imploring with me
mouthing false apologies
thinking to sway
my soft feminine heart.
Walked away
heard the piteous moan
so unlike the one
you made
taking from me
safety
peace of mind.
I am not a monster.
Called an ambulance I did
vigilante justice
you will never
ever
hurt another woman again.
©Feb. 8/20
Picture via Pintrest

Harsh Reality

***There is a lot of anger here and I am not sure where it all came from. I thought this was going to be a cutesy poem about being little and it morphed big time. 
Once when I was little
I fell from the sky
bruised my knee
which a quick kiss
fixed.
Once when I was little
I was full of questions
so I experimented
with things
maybe I should not have.
Then I began to grow
as is the way of children
began to see the world around
realized
fear did begin to grow
that this is what my life was
an always would be.
I am a woman.
I am a mother.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am an Aunt.
My list goes on and on…..
this is not to say
hey look at me
see how great I am?
No this is a list
I would like men to look at
those who have difficulty with a concept
that no means no
do not touch
get out of my face
does not mean
please progress.
Look at that list
close as can be
for I know none of you
were born
fully formed
from Zeus’ forehead.
Now I ask
how does it make you feel
to think of those women
your family women attacked?
Scared to walk through the streets?
Looking over their shoulder
fearing rape?
Can you tell me true
does it not bother you
enrage you
to think of someone
without consent
touching them…….
that is what you do
when you degrade women
believe we are toys to play with.
Think twice
before you touch
think of mom
sister too
if that does not stop you
maybe a gun will.
©Jan. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #54-Untitled Poem

***This poem is a continuation of Sister’s Shade and Bitter Spectre . Again these poems deal with sensitive issues.***
Flesh 
stretched taut over broken skull
eyes sunken
forever looking inward
escaping mirrored glare.
Life went down in a flash
fire burned 
she wanted to forget.
To run away.
Gaunt
sinew and muscle
consumed as fuel.
She huddles
invisible
hidden
hair over face
teeth cracked
decayed
falling out…..
broken
blackened
hurting in her head.
They ground her.
Keep her feeling pain.
Gashes in her arms
festering pus glows
never enough to kill herself
do any lasting harm.
She had luck.
Always found.
Always cradled.
Always…..
brought back from the brink of hell.
She tried.
Put herself in danger.
Ripped open her veins.
Drank to oblivion and beyond.
Took drugs and more.
Every time
she awoke to the same living nightmare.
One she knew well.
The view never changed.
Her eyes flutter open
pain ripping through anew
bending over her
face twisted in anguished wail
eyes blackened with rage
sister soul eater
her revenge…..
©August 30/19
Picture via Pinterest

Bitter Spectre

**This is a continuation from Sister’s Shade. I did not plan for it to be a continuation but the voices have informed me they have other plans. Again this poem deals with sensitive issues.**

Rage
black tinged gold
crimson blankets silver
molted yellows caress copper
shifting the coins from hand to hand
weight
unconscious of redistributing
subtle stance of defense
noticed not
when their paths did cross.
Sneer
luscious lips
swagger as he walks away
lawyer wearing thousand dollar suit
nary a glance her way.
Stinging
abraded thighs
eyes gloom
stitched to the floor
syllables mono when they came.
No one made the connection.
No one ever would.
Still
her sister’s Shade hissed
coiling around her heart
wrapping talons in her mind
settling over her
cold death sweater
her fury left undone.
Tears collect
unbidden
unfallen
diamonds in the sky
sudden retching
voiceless howl to the moon.
Voices collect
nightmares sinking into her psyche.
Doctors in.
Doctors out.
No privacy.
Words driven into questions
hang in the air
waited upon the words
hanging unspoken on her lips
her desire to speak
driven away by the black angst
her revenge still not done.
Cold shadows gather
huddle in the corners
drool pooling beneath
striking barbs
they await.
©August 27/18
Picture via Pinterest

Sister’s Shade

**This poem deals with a very sensitive issue. I do not want to drop the poem on you unwarned.**
Her cheek marred
chunks of gravel dig in
tears squeezed from dead eyes
hears the tearing of her clothes
as if from afar.
They would say that it was her fault
that she had had asked for it
her clothing
her mannerisms
that she had taken the drink
she knew the risk.
The world began to spin
dancing lights
whirling floor
the merry-go-round of childhood.
Giggle
stumble away on his arm
ignoring that yawning pitch in her stomach
fighting to beat the nausea
threatening to drop her to her knees.
Wave away helping hands
promised he did to see her home
her friends warned her
told her not to go.
He had a reputation.
Not secret
she already knew.
He was that guy
with smoldering looks
the one who could you wet
while cutting you dead.
Danger
prickled along her skin
rain pouring down
torrential
grunting in her ear
telling her to enjoy it
‘to take it all baby 
you had to have wanted
you came away with me 
even though well you know
the drug‘……..
Nightmare under her skin
in her mind
damaged she’d become.
Red light
pulsing
warning signal
do not stop
do not pass go.
This was not unplanned
damage control
there was a story to be told
a life to be paid in gold.
Money buys leniency
time on the golf course
massages
hot yoga class
finish the semester so as not to fail.
Ragged edged
consumed with pain
with disgust
raging demon reaps…..
consumes another soul.
Her sister’s shade
strange grimace on her face
acknowledges the pain
hand held in shame
she had done that.
Hounded until the Shade had won.
Here she was
unravelling
coming undone
rape and murder avenged
at the sacrifice of her own psyche and soul.
©August 26/19
Picture found on Pinterest