Life Lessons & So Much Laughter

I swear I am losing my mind. Or my brain is going on vacation. Some of the things that have come out of my mouth this week…….
  1. Do you need to purchase a bag? Would you like paper for $10? (price is actually .10 C)
  2. Scanned the code for paper bags……stood staring at the phone before realizing that it was the phone and not the till……phone and till are in no way connected. At all.
  3. Freaked a customer out……asked which one smelled……should have added good the first time. Both looked horrified until I reassured them that I was smelling something good. Really as if I would shout that out if you stink!!!!
In a Covid post I talked about one of my customers who I was worried about. Gentleman who had lost his wife. Came into the store for the first time days before Covid hit. Hugged him. Etc. Today I hear a voice and I look at check out 1 and who is there……my customer.
I was almost bawling. I was in tears I was so happy to see him. I have been so worried and I told him that to. Said I did not know if he had kids shopping for him so there was no way for me to find out he was ok. He wanted to hug me but Covid……so instead we stood 6′ apart and spread our arms as if giving hugs. I do not know this man’s name. I do not know anything about him. Other than his wife passed….he moved from the family home…..was learning to shop on his own…..but has the biggest smile always and kindest words. That he is safe and I finally got to see him. Absolutely best part of my day today.
I am struggling this week with regards to writing. Yet I need to write so instead of poetry I am blasting you with small snippets of my life.
I am learning so much recently. I am growing and slightly surprised that I can do so. A prime example is I am an organizational freak. Things look good a certain way so everything has to be that way. When putting bags for life out one does not do so willy nilly…….you separate and hand according to same bag pic etc. I know some call it OCD but that is not what it is at all…..I like organization. I like uniformity. IDK I have a way of doing things. Now the other day Tember asked if he could put away the dried goods. So I said sure. He wants to help. Well everything we use is now on the bottom shelf. The 2nd shelf is nearly empty and the top shelf…..things we do not use. I stood and looked at it.
‘But Buddy I need to see things?’
‘What things mom?’
‘Like the seasoning/gravy……you know what buddy you did a great job. Thank you.’
My cupboard is still Tember stylized.
I also asked him to make me a peanut butter squishy.   One slice of bread…..spread peanut butter over the whole piece…..fold in half and squish! The peanut butter was not totally spread out and I said something and than looked at him and said ‘thank you so much Buddy. I appreciate you making this for me.’ (Next squishy he made peanut butter covered corner to corner lol)
This whole week has been growth and laughter. I realize and accept that sometimes brain and mouth do not always co-ordinate. I am learning to accept that not everything has to be done my way. As hard as that is. But I am getting there and that is all that matters.
Have a great weekend everyone.
🙂
©July 10/20
Picture is my own

An Old Dog Can Learn New Tricks

Things have been happening.
Changes.
In me.
I feel…..believe me this is going to sound weird…..but I feel enlightened.
Yesterday towards the end of my shift my manager asked me to come and see him and the DM before I left. And the first words out of my mouth were ‘have I done something wrong?’
This here is huge in and of itself…..until typing that I did not realize that I did not ask if I was in trouble but if I had done something wrong.
This step is secondary to the first.
The look my manager gave me as he said no they had questions about the baskets but he looked a little puzzled.
My first instinct was to think I had done something wrong and it came out of my mouth.
This is residual behaviour…..
a little sharp toothed anxiety from before the new Jay.
Me…..I am the new Jay.
I have been thinking about it. And how this is the second time an interaction with my manager has lead me to realize another step forward. If he asks me I am going to tell him the truth as I have been thinking of it:
We have not really spoken other than a bit here and there because we are now at different levels. These days I am in till. He is busy. It is a dynamic shift with my having stepped down. That is totally understandable.
Since then whenever he has asked to speak with me it is because there is something I have done wrong or have had a customer complaint. Again totally understandable.
Having been the Front End Lead and the young woman who was my second is now in that role it is he who has the conversations with me. Again totally understandable.
Dynamics and all.
Not to say that he does not tell me when I am receiving compliments. I believe though it can be forgotten how a small pat on the head can make all the difference.
That though is fodder for another post.
Not every time that my manager or supervisor wants to talk to me is because I have done something wrong.
I also have realized that it is so easy to take responsibility.
I.E. another manager gave my Front Lead heck for something I had done. So I apologized to her and said that she could tell this person that I had misunderstood as to a cashier’s role. That it was busy and I had seen a solution. Realized after that I should have just left it. Told her it was something I would work on. Also said that she could tell this person to come and speak with me about it and I would explain my error. No one ever came to talk to me.
Hmmmmmm…….apparently there are more lessons than I have consciously acknowledged.
Next lesson came from interaction with ex and his girlfriend. (I’m Done)
I am not going to say that I have been all that nice in my head.
I have had a couple of talks with myself.
How I am not responsible for how she behaves.
I am responsible for myself and my response.
Blogged about it.
As I sat here though knowing how my ex could be shot him a text admonishing him not to argue with his gf to just enjoy his evening with her.
All I want for him is to be happy. To find the love he deserves. And they have something as they have been together for 3 1/2 years. She makes him happy.
It does me no good to make her feel uncomfortable.
It costs me less to respect her feelings because I genuinely do like the girl.
There you have it folks…..enlightenment in a post.
Not all came from my writing the other part came from my texts with Macy.
An amazing friend who helps me to see the better parts of myself. Who lets evil Jay come out but reins me in as well. She listens while I ramble eventually coming to my conclusions. Encourages me. Without her I would miss a lot of my enlightening moments. I mean who else would listen to me?????
Turns out that some aspects of growing up really only means learning to take the lessons that are in front of you….see them for what they are and accept that change in your life.
I have (for the most part not to brag folks) (I love me the word folks these days) been receptive to these lessons. Not easily. A few times I have been dragged kicking and screaming but with each step forward…..with each realization of what is important and what I want Tember to learn each one becomes easier.
©July 4/20
Picture is my own. Taken July 3/20.