Should Have…..

Sat upon the hill
blushed sky
silhouetted birds
against fluffed white clouds
emerald grass beneath feet
pondering
essence of self
of love
of life
of everything.
Relationships fail
through lack of faith
lack of trust
lack of love
or
just because…..
people fall together
they fall apart
neither at fault
life happens that way.
Tears fall
memories
ghosts of times passed…..
lingering upon my lips
taste of kisses
none ever sweeter
than the ones
you covered me with.
Your fingers
made me witless
legs shaking
moaning whimpers
calling your name.
Shaking my head
anger does rise
for you are now dead
to me
in my life
for all eternity.
I should have ignored the beep.
I should have ignored the ding.
Had I…..
message would not have to be unseen
heart not torn apart
your infidelity
right there
no longer able to deny
my world
blown
from ashes I shall slowly rise.
©May 3/20
Picture via Pinterest

Conscious Forever More

I stand
hands on hips
staring at my nakedness
seeing the droop of my breast
the extra inch on my hips
how my thighs are now touching
lips pursed
for I still see them as flaws
I still seek external confirmation
of my inner self.
I am beautiful.
Whether bundled in winter clothes
or clad in bikini on the beach.
No one can take that from me.
I am strong.
I have beaten addiction.
I have beaten my self doubt.
I have beaten
destroyed that voice
my own voice
telling me I am worthless.
I am sexy.
For so long
so very very long
I felt that my sexuality
my desires
they were wrong.
I kept them hidden
in a secret part of me.
No longer.
I labored for so long
deluded by past
devalued by self
awaiting external acceptance
that I do not need
for I am me
and me am I.
Tongue twisted
words never more betrayed
truth has been found
depth of my soul
cage freed my heart
it is my time
it is my turn
to rise & shine.
©Nov. 25/19
Picture is one of my own