Untitled Word of the Day Poem #21

I was ready…..
ready to say
holy fuck
not only did you make my day
you made my year
my everything….
Asshole.
Forbidden
I have been
from allowing  you
back into my life
my segments…..
I was told no.
Not only my circle
rally around
there is another
showing me my worth
my destiny.
This could have been your quest.
But…..
well…..
 I was not good enough.
Is it really greener?
That grass
on the other side of the fence?
Is it really a brighter emerald??
Tell me true.
As you stand
barrier
simple fence
enough to cage a sheep
caught you in a trap
I thought you were smarter than that.
Was it worth it?
I am not like the others…..
Fuck no
talk …..
admit
talk ….
to me
seriously?
I can no longer bend.
Bow
I am done.
I loved you.
I love you,
I wanted to help.
I want to help.
I wanted to lessen your burden.
But…..
well……
Hi…..
Over here…..
good bye.
I….
I love you….
I speak words of disgrace
throw the synonyms
while your vowels penetrate
my skin.
Crimson tears
heart scarred
will I ever trust again?
 
Feb. 17/19
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Untitled Relationship Poem #7

Fuck you!
Slashing
slicing
violent words 
used to rip your soul apart
the way you ripped mine.
No guns
no fists 
no blades
vicious words 
spill from my mouth
looking to cut you away.
Trust has been blasted
no more base
not sure what I am going to do
you have hurt me so much.
I should have insisted
but your words 
your promises 
your voiws
lulled my suspicions.
Never again.
Grievous pain
firing through heart
brain
tired of the charge
I want to turn it off.
I want to numb myself
to this hurt inside.
Standing beneath the rushing water
deep breath
once in
twice out
it will be alright.
A fool am I 
love knows no bounds
not a love like this.
Rage
frothing
swelling
you should really run
’cause this woman 
went and got her gun.
 
Feb. 16/18
 

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #19

Have not slept a night through
there is an empty space
in my bed
where once you lay
always willing to pull me close
to kiss my brow
assure me all was right.
Dreams splintered
demons raging
monsters crashing in.
Curled in a corner
blankets over my head
repeating
only a dream 
only a dream
in hopes that they will go.
So smitten was I
with you
monster banishing
demon slaying
god like man.
I was on my knees before you
honoring you with prayers.
Wisp of smoke
fading in the air
locked in denial
screaming in rage
please come back
so I can gouge your eyes out.
Feb. 14/19

Untitled Relationship Poem #6

I realized
standing at the kitchen sink
hands steeped in water
I have not dealt with
the pain you caused.
Drinking too much
I have hidden
drowned
my sorrows
so I did not look it in the face.
Sight blurred
tears dripping from my chin
I felt pain.
howl ripped deep
shattering me
staggering to my knees.
I lay sobbing
memory after memory
rushing
streaming
flying
from heart to mind
too many to categorize.
Crawling to the bedroom
pulling myself into bed
I pull your pillow close
wrapping myself around
inhaling your scent
feeling summer heat on my skin.
Alcohol infused soul
hidding
hidden
hid
behind blackened void
where once my heart was.
Prayers never worked
yet I mutter your name
over and over
rosary beads through my hand.
Slices
carmine lips
shattered smile stitched across my face.
Eyes blooded
removed
no need to see
fact
I will always come back to you.
Feb. 12/19

Voices Raised

You yell
you scream
you make me feel
like all is my fault
but really?
Let me ask
you fucked her
not me
how am I the one at fault?
You know you did me wrong
you wrecked my soul
my heart.
You promised me
that you loved me
would do anything for me
but you also swore
this would not happen
you would not fall.
Babe all I can say
I don’t know if I love you
the pain I feel
has more to do with respect
with broken trust
than actual love.
Not a  woman
just a child
you as well
come calling when you get tired 
of dirt
of hovels
of paper plates.
I will pick up the pieces.
You will come crawling
I ain’t stupid man.
I know what this game is.
Go ahead
watch me step back
hey babe
whose life means more?
Tongue tied
I know what is done
she ruined our fun
you don’t care
I am sorry to say
she will fuck you 
in the end.
(and she did)
Feb. 11/19

Untitled Poem Word of the Day #17

I clung to those memories
hoarding
pawing 
breathing fire on
like a dragon 
in its den.
I never thought to go forward
I only stayed in the past
where memories
should be looked upon
fondly
kindly
sweetly
not with a singular obsession
like I had.
Driven
unable to release you
unable to release the dream
finally
I realized
I was only hurting myself.
How I found the strength
to finally let you go
release my heart
come back to me
I will never know.
I bow my head
in reverence
for the love we did share.
I must let go
for the sake of my sanity.
Good bye. 
 
Feb. 8/19

Untitled Poem Word of the Day #16

The moon is full,
the beast does arise
howling with frustration
with beauty wise.
No one can tell
no one can tame
lost in the moonlight
a singular lust uncontained.
A mournful note
hangs unbidden
over tender throat.
Teeth bared
saliva flashing
bodies wrapped
with primitive heat.
The fire that burns
searing the souls
of two twined.
Come daylight
they break apart
their masks in place
returning
always
to play their parts.
when two come together
when minds
bodies
hearts
connect
incandescent.
Feb. 7/19
Photo by Yannick Menard on Unsplash