Untitled Word of the Day Poem #30

Finally took the rings off
unshackled my heart
unbound my soul
I finally am letting you go.
I have waited…..
waited
waited 
waited
for you to return to me
only to realize
I hid my eyes with blindness
preferring to look
upon times of the past
with more fondness
than I do when I look to the future.
It was hard
the day they came to the house
platitudes mouthed
yet…..
only I was the one crying.
I sit upon the bed we once shared
no longer do the sheets
or your pillows
smell like you.
The tee shirt I wear
shorts I pull on
a tribute to my love for you.
I am sorry my darling
it is so hard to let go
to let you rest in peace.
I kneel before your tombstone
sorrow
tears settling into the earth
as I whisper…..
‘I have delayed this too long
good bye my love.
Memories
I will hold tight 
your ghost
I must lay to rest.
Never forget…..
Always and forever
I will love you.’
©April 24/19
Picture via Pinterest and found by The Eclectic Contrarian for me.

Untitled Relationship Poem #4

Sadness.
Inevitable.
A cloak of darkness
a mantle
blankets me
entering my heart
shredding my emotions
making me cry.
Tears fall from blinded  eyes.
In the corner I stand
eyes furtive
settling on no one
calling no attention to myself.
I wonder how I can be so lonely
in a room full of people.
I move
a shadow
brief stirring of air
as I pass
leaving the room .
None notice.
I have made no impression.
I am not the one you are looking for
when your eyes rove around the room.
I am not the one.
Never was I the one.
You played with me
toyed with me
adoration shining from my eyes
unable to see
but a brief stop was I
you never meant to stay.
Tears fall
crumpled in a heap
loneliness assaulting 
black bottomless pain
ripping me apart.
January 13/19

Plain Jane-Broken Down

***Continuation of Story poem. Previous poems are in order here:
She did it to me again.
Always
with the leaving me entrails
destruction
things I must clean up.
I am the one pummeled
cold baths
shock therapy
increased drugs
increased watching of the patient
never allowing me a chance
to unfold.
If I am locked like this
drugs
cuffs
complacent
how ever will she reappear?
Until court
when I must answer for bloodshed
for death
that I did not cause
I will be sedated.
Badass Jane
she is writhing on the leash
wanting to come out
to play
to protect
to get her revenge.
Sept. 7/18

Silver Tears

Everyone thought that they knew her.
Her story
her beginnings
her middle
but none dreamed of her end.
A beauty
like Helen of Troy
men at her feet
showering her in adoration
jewels
money
yet never love.
Slate grey sky
matching stormy eyes
if only they knew
if only they had paid attention
if only she had told them.
Wretched blackness
clings to her soul
reminding her of the past
the abuse
the agony
but on her lips
an enigmatic smile plays
dazzling her lovers.
Under moonlit sky
she wept
silver tears of pain.
Oct. 5/18
Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

Spirits

Crimson lips
dipped in poison
whisper pious words.
Head bent forward
prayer of supplication
no need to fear.
Cross to bear
my own.
Hatred to shed
yours.
Unsure if I am able to go forward
without the abuse of your dead.
Walking amongst the forgotten
fingers trailing
whisping frost
disintergrating
from my warm touch.
Each spirit I stroke
echoes  a plea
‘let me go’.
I look to release them
from this plane.
Forgiveness is not required.
I see thickened strands
black shadows
acting as shackles
keeping them close to me.
With a single thought
I unlock each one
allowing the spirits to flee.
Sept. 7/18
Photo by Michael Weidner on Unsplash

Latest Victim

There is no way to know
simmering beneath the surface
a silent rage
all consuming
ready to devour
those who come too close.
Whispers swell
scrabbling at the door
nasty comments
brutal fears
looking to escape
to cause havoc….
on the innocent.
Blackness roiling
filling mind
soul
with doubt
that nothing is at it seems.
Stormy sea
symphony of agony
of hatred
within one’s self
as the darkness reaches out….
to claim it’s latest victim.
Aug. 22/18

Obstinate

Tick tock
where’s the clock
already I am scared
for when midnight comes
the beast will run
filling me with dread.
Fingers digging
‘neath the bed hiding
I know he can’t see me.
Fuck no.
Dragged out
nails digging into the floor
scratch marks
do not think I went softly
do not think I did not cry.
The monster came
the monster did bite
and forever more
I shall fight.
I know what I face.
I know what I faced.
I am a Princess.
I am a Warrior.
I am that woman  you fear.
Why?
l know what I want
I know what I need…
Never again
will I fall to my knees. 
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 10/18
Picture via: Photo by Nadi Whatisdelirium on Unsplash