Universal Comedy

Fail after fail
man after man
heartache after heartache
finally realized it was me
not them
I was the one who needed to change
my expectations
my desires
my needs.
Not looking for the perfect man
one who adores me
that will do just fine
not looking for an adonis
one who supports me
that will make me smile.
Make my heart sing.
Concentrate on self
time has come
wave of hand
all men can disappear
I need to look within
find my peace
then I can begin.
Threw it out to the universe
ain’t no man
coming to my home
come to my throne
until I
as Queen
decree.
Universe took it as a challenge
took it to mean
a prank to be played
upon resistant romantic.
on my head
about to drown
what the hell?
Someone somewhere is enjoying
this comedy of games.
©April 29/2
Picture via Pinterest

Hello…..

Hello…..
is it me you are looking for?
Lionel 
is that you?
High
low
searching
wondering
can I?
will I?….. 
find you
looking in the cupboard
one
two
shit
down to the last roll.
I stalk the streets
heeding whispers
listening to rumors
on the hunt
on the look out
for that elusive creature
the one that keeps me clean
oh my
Toilet Paper
when did you become god
when did I need to reserve
just a roll
to ensure
I had what I need
when in need.
(Grandma…..
lesson learned
going forward
toilet paper shall be bought 
on sale 
never ending
so again 
never shall I face this plight)
Oh my
it makes me giggle
it makes me laugh
look at me with disdain
I do not care
last I checked
this ain’t no ass illness…..
respiratory.
Lungs.
Lungs people.
‘Dem t’ings y’all breath through.
(sad
 sad
rhyme
sad
sad
accent
I hear it better than I speak it
smile)
Never
not in a million years
trite as that statement may be
did I ever think
that toilet paper
would become more sought after than gold
that limits would have to be imposed
but:
can you spare a square?
Just one square?
Homage to Lionel….
Homage to Seinfeld….. 
Please do not sue me
Please….. 
Cease and Desist……
much better….. 
cause 0% of 0%…..
well……
it equals 0%…..
unless you do the new math
than it could mean anything. 
©April 10/20
Picture is my own