Truth’s Ballad

How battered
how bruised
how broken
must I be
that I view everything you say
under scrutiny.
Thoughts
always twisted
expectant of the worst
never expecting the good.
Cannot believe the hurt
stifled for so long
brewing
bursting through my skin.
Death worms
boring outward
escaping with their vile shards
stomped beneath my boot
as they fall.
No one loves you.
I am loved.
You are ugly.
I see my beauty.
It comes from within.
No one wants to hear your pain.
I am surrounded by those
who share my pain
hold my hand
hug me tight
let me cry.
You are shallow
selfish
insignificant in this world.
I am me.
I am imperfect.
I have shattered.
I have remade myself.
I am learning to listen
finally
to the most important person of all…..
myself.
Clothed in color
standing upon cliff’s edge
within my hands
ashes of…..
the horror of my past
the fear that tried to bind me
the voice
wailing in fear
in shame
in pain
no longer caged
no longer tongueless
soars
released to the skies
song upon the bird’s wings.

©Oct. 16/19
Picture is my own

I am a Queen

Trying out this new thing;
Called Adulting.
I seem to have grown once more
without even realizing it.
No longer do I feel worthless
no longer do I feel alone
no longer do I speak to myself
degrading
causing panic dear.
Oh yes
the blackest voice is there
whispering
hissing
making me doubt….
myself….
my abilities….
me.
Countered with
a litney of good:
Funny
Smart
Beautiful
Independent
words to some
lifelines
to keep me sane.
I stand
the pier soaked beneath my feet
deep cleansing
breath in breath out….
Golden Girl.
Golden Queen.
Golden Princess
no more.
Queen of my life
Queen of my destiny
Queen of my confidence.
Queen of my Soul.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
July 2/18
Photo by Matthew Brodeur on Unsplash