Time Update

I think that I may be the luckiest mom in the world.

I know we all think that about our kids and while there are days when I wonder what I was thinking when I decided that hey I wanna be a mom I am fairly confident it is apparent how much I adore T.

I have fought long and hard for the relationship that we have.

We can talk and laugh about everything and anything.

When we need to be serious when I am upset/annoyed we talk.

Well I talk and walk.

He listens and absorbs.

I have never had to ground him.

So either I am not finding out what he is up to or I have a good kid.

Mind he has not yet become a teenager that may change in 3-4 months.

Last week I wrote about having to sign off on the sensitive lessons they will be taking in health class.

I have been asking him every day when it is.

It is today folks so I will have an update tomorrow and T has promised that at most it will be one phone call.

He will rein in the rest of his material until outdoors and away from the teachers.

I am kidding.

He was really confused yesterday when I asked if he had had his class yet.

I have not told him that I have been getting questions from my blogging friends about how it went.

Last night I again asked him.

When T wanted to know why I was so interestested I told him I also need to know what gaps I will have to fill in later.

T: What is masturbation mom?

Me: Self -pleasuring. Should I go further?

T: We don’t need to have this conversation

Me: Well do we need to talk about this?

T: No…..no…..no….mom it would be less creepy if my principal put his hand on my knee and explained sex to me.

Me (beginning to laugh): Oh you would rather have your father explain it to you?

T: Mom at least he would be drunk and not remember what he said to me.

Me (laughing): Ok I just have one thing to say…..

T: Mom…..

Me: Just clean up after yourself. If you use kleenex throw it in the garbage. A piece of clothing throw it in the laundry. I do not want to be finding piles of kleenex under your bed.

T (laughing): Mom I will clean up like….(casting around)the kitchen counters.

Me (tears I am laughing so hard) OMG that means there are piles forming as we speak.

T (laughing holding his stomach): Mom you know what I mean!!!!

I cannot give him the logistics.

I can make it normal for him like sex/menstruation/menopause all the facts and know how of the physical human body.

And by introducing these topics into conversations in a general way and joking about them makes it easier for him to come to me with larger issues.

As all know T does not fall far from the sarcasm tree.

He has even gotten as good as imbuing it into his text messages.

Which then goes right over my head.

Happy Tuesday Everyone.

©June 1/21

Pictures are my own

Mom It’s Time

T came home from school yesterday and was chortling as he unpacked his backpack.

T: Mom it is time for my comedy class!

Me (listening with half an ear): What?

He digs out a pink form and waves it at me.

T: Mom you have to sign this form. They are finally going to teach us about sex at school.

Me (laughing): But you know all about it already.

T: I know mom that is why I said it was going to be a comedy class.

Me: T I do not want to get a call from the school about you disrupting the sex class.

T: Mom really…..

Later in the evening I reminded him once more that he was to behave in class.

That I wanted to hear nothing from the school regarding this class.

And he was not to say anything.

As the daughter of a nurse who learned about sex and babies when she was 7 I have never been shy discussing the birds and bees with T.

And given that he has always loved his birth story and has had me tell it over and over again sex was something I explained early.

Not in great detail and as he has gotten older we had several more conversations.

***His father attempted once to have ‘the talk’ with him and T laughed him out of the room. He was terribly uncomfortable and had nothing new to add.***

I wholeheartedly believe that sex education is best started at home.

I have taught T that his body is his own and no one can touch him without his consent.

I have taught him that a body is just a body.

Whether male or female.

That the sexual aspect is a gift given by your partner.

Otherwise everyone looks the same under their clothes.

Two legs/arms/hips/genitals in one form or other/knees etc etc.

I have taught him to respect girls and women.

I have drilled into him to always stop and think before doing something:

Is this something that I would be okay with if it happened to my mom?

As well as the police and parents of any girl he harmed would do less to hurt him then I will. He is aware that running and changing his identity in case of this happening is by far his best choice.

Although he will be hunted til the day I die.

Hobbling after him waving my wooden spoon.

I know that there are things that most parents won’t discuss or fear discussing with their children.

Sex being a big one.

Or at least in my town/city.

Abstinence not education is the preferred way to deal with it.

As a parent the less that I make something exotic and unknown the less exciting it becomes.

Yes sex is wonderful and great.

But there is a lot that plays into it and those things can be difficult to convey to a group of 15 about to be teens.

How do they understand the emotions that come with this experience?

They don’t and it is something that will only be understood once they have gone through it.

The mechanics will never change and those can be taught in school.

The emotional aspect and how one must treat their partner is something that can only be taught at home.

And is something that we should never shy away from discussing.

©May 26/21

Picture via Pinterest