Saturday January 26/19

T and me are hanging out. On a Saturday night. Okay late afternoon but whatever.
I have been watching (okay binging on) Wentworth. Precursor to Orange is the New Black. That one is next on my watch list. T is extremely interested in the show and well considering all the shit that one can find on Youtube I am not about to block him from watching. And he is watching with me. Sitting on the couch next to me. He has his blanket and favorite pillow. He has settled in for the duration. There are 6 seasons. He is in the living room with me. His Xbox is turned off and shut down. He is sitting here asking me questions.
Last night the Ex and me were texting. It has been decided that the Xbox is no longer going to be welcome at the Ex’s. He liked having T hang out with him and do other things than gaming. I get that. I still have not given him permission to play with his friends and he has not. There is no sneaking. He plays Farming Simulator 2019 and watches Youtube. He plays with his lego. He wants to hang out with me. He wants to hang out with his dad.Thinking that we might have stumbled onto something here.
I am a little afraid though. T is not acting like surly boy. He is being my sweet child. Hanging out with me. Playing with his cars and lego. He put the dishes away while I was washing the others. He is talking to me. Non-stop which I cannot complain about. A) I am a chatterbox and he takes after me. B) He is in the living room hanging out with me.
However as much as he is like me there are aspects of his father coming through. I watched season one by myself. T is coming in on season two. And the questions he is asking. Nonstop. Now we are watching the same episodes together. Therefore I know as much as he does. ‘Mom why is she bleeding?’ ‘Mom what happened to the girl with the foaming mouth?’ ‘Mom……mom……..mom…….’ When the Ex and me were together Sunday was recoup and movie day. Chicken day if we had extra money. We would be watching a movie and he would be asking me questions about what was going on. Seriously? I have watched what you have watched how can I know what is going on? I am not able to foresee what is coming.
T believes he is a comedian. He also thinks that I am funny. Was giving him the mom glare (not really) and he was giggling away. So I did it again. Was told to stop so Lucky would not get off his lap. Lucky has been driving me insane. Always on top of me. I bribed him not to move with getting him a drink of Pepsi. However I decided to do dishes so he had to get up and put away the other dishes. Lucky was not impressed at all with either of us.
T stood at the kitchen sink putting away clean ones as I am washing others. We talked. A lot.
He is not impressed with my reason for liking Canada. I asked him why? I mean I was born here pretty sure I like my country. Maybe not wanting to live in the coldest province in all of Canada but it is my country. He informs me that liking Canada because marijuanna has been legalized is not a reason to like it. Oh boy. Now I am in for it.
We had a discussion about marijuanna. We had a discussion about the fact he is telling his father things about me. He tells me dad does not care. I told him once more that like Vegas…..what happens in my home stays in my home…..what happens in his father’s home stays in his father’s home. He never tells me anything. What am I doing that makes me so interesting to T that he needs to tell his dad?????? Oh and I discovered that he is talking to his friends about us. LOL I mean to be expected right? Getting older and needs people to confide in who are not related to him.
It is funny how many unlearned traits T has. An unlearned trait is something that  is prevelant in your family but you never know how you began to do it. Mine was I use to punch the Ex in the arm when I was proven right/said something funny. He told me not to. Asked me not to. I had no idea where I got this weird thing I did. Until I stayed with mom and grandma when T was premature. Mom had come down asking if grandma had seen her black sheet. She could not find anywhere. Grandma starts to chortle. Says to mom ‘you mean the one you have hanging up to blackout light?’ and than she punched me. In the arm.
Now for T. We are sitting here chatting away when a car pulls up. Our parking spot is 2nd last and visitor parking comes next. We hear the tires crunching over the snow. He is off the couch in a flash and peeking out the blinds. I laughed so hard. Sent mom a message telling her about it. Asked who it reminded her of. First answer was Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched. (Had to explain that to T) Her second response? Is it someone famous? Me staring incredulously at my phone wtf? Really????? I message back um no you and grandma. Mom came back with: ‘I know that! Uncle and Aunt do too!’ If you knew it why did you not say?????
I realize I have been all over the place here with T’s actions and comments. But truth be told were you sitting next to me on the couch or talking to me on the phone….this would be our conversation. One thing leads to another and while they all make sense in my mind maybe not yours.
Today has been a good day. T has hung with me. T has hung out with me. Really that is all that matters.
Addendum: I allowed T to game 1 hour with his friend tonight. 1 hour. At 3 minutes to the hour I reminded him. Bedroom door slammed shut. Replying to message realize it is 9:19 so I go to tell him to get off. I opened the door and said to him ‘T…..’ realized he was already watching Youtube. Told him I was proud of him for listening to me. He asked me to leave his room. I did after again telling him how proud of him I was. 🙂

All about the Cats

Just so you guys know, I did not slack today and went for a wonderful walk. It was sunny, a little cool until I started to do my brisk walk around the park. I did not make sure that my camera on the phone had been switched to forward facing and with the sun I could not determine if it had been or not. So I went on a wing and a prayer taking some photos that I thought were cool. Than we got home. I opened the gallery to play around with these wonderful shots only to discover that all the photos were of my forehead. Yep, my forehead. Nothing special or great about it other than it is a big forehead and close ups in pictures reveal it to not be right for my photos. So I decided I would share my pics of the cats. Lucky is the grey fluffy one and Thomas is the one peering over my shoulder in the above picture.

Nessie

T and me we had a really good week this week. A small blip on the radar Thursday evening when he melted down at bedtime. Now I am not entirely sure what caused it other than T had had 2 or 3 cans of pop before coming back home from the Ex’s. He insisted that he was not tired. He screamed. He sulked. He yelled. I turned the lights out, determined to put him to bed and get to sleep myself. With much caterwauling he made his way into his bedroom. He kicked the bed. He made a lot of noise. I finally came out of my room and went into his. I told him that enough was enough. That he was  being rude and disrespectful of the upstairs neighbor. He did not care.
On Thursday I went to the city with V. Because T had been so good this week, and I had not had to nag about chores overly much I bought him a Lego Monster Truck kit and a small stuffed pig. He wants a pig as a pet. My obvious answer to a real pig is now so I thought a stuffed one might appease that desire for awhile. Well, and I am not proud of myself, but I got angry. I tried to take Mr. Piggy away from T. I told him that in the morning I was taking both the pig and the Monster Truck away from him. That I had bought them because he had been so good this week. I went back into my room and closed the door.
As I lay there I could hear T making noise. I was going to ignore it when I realized that he was calling mom. And not quietly. Understand that he is very close to the ceiling because I foolishly purchased a loft bed for him. A couple of more years before I have to replace it. So I was worried that the neighbors were going to hear him. It was now 11:30 and I was getting cranky. I climbed the ladder and stood looking at T. Whose face is tear stained and he is sniffling away. He wanted to tell me that he was sorry. That he should not have acted the way that he had. He loved me. I told him I loved him too, gave him a kiss and told him to go to sleep.
That was not our entire week. Nor was I about to let it color what had been an amazing week. We talked and laughed. Friday T once more was the voice of reason as I tried to navigate the cloverleaf. ‘Remember mom think of girly shit.’ Okay, he did not say the last part it was more kittens and unicorns but I know that that is what he was thinking. Our week was made of prisms of light and that black cloud scuttled across the sky quickly and with no lasting effects. Previously I would have been gnawing over the small blip instead of focusing on all the good. So once more I am showing growth and not bashing myself for getting angry and thinking that I was a bad mom.
Wednesday night.  I made dinner and T did not eat all of it. Decided that it was not something that he liked. I made Swanson’s Garlic Shrimp and I have always enjoyed it. When I took his bowl to the sink I told him that I would not be making him anything else to eat. He agreed. I was writing when T asked me if I could get him some more orange juice. I said sure as I was getting up to refill my water anyways. When I opened the fridge my eyes fell on the apples and I thought to myself what a nice snack. So decided to cut up the apple. Gave T his orange juice and went and sat back on the couch.
I was happily crunching away when I felt laser beams searing through my consciousness. I glanced over and T was staring at me with disbelief. I was not sure what I had done. He continued to stare at me and I swallowed the mouthful that I had.
‘What?’
‘Where’s my snack? I told you I was hungry.’
Oh yes, this than lead to my assertion that I did not hear him when he told me that he was hungry. T was positive that I had chosen to ignore him. He wanted something to eat. I kept asserting that he could get his own snack. He began to get really annoyed and fussy. And whining. I finally did begin to ignore him. Which of course made him even angrier. Of late, instead of reacting to how T is being I will give him a choice of how I am going to respond and his behaviour chooses said action. This time whining at me=me ignoring him.
Finally I could take it no more. I did not snap. I did not yell.
‘That’s it T. The kitchen is closed at 7 p.m. and it is now 7:03 p.m.’
I looked over and a smile began to grow on his face. The whining ceased. And he began to harass me about there not being a closed sign. I stuck to my guns and kept repeating that the kitchen was closed. He kept haranguing me about a closed sign. Finally in exasperation I said ‘Fine you want a closed sign. I will make a closed sign!’ I was halfway off the couch when it hit me. Once I was up and making up the sign T was going to use the ‘well seeing as how you are up’ argument and I sat right back down. When I accused him of such devious plotting he was shocked. As if the thought had never crossed his mind.
By the time we were done tears rolled down both of our faces we were laughing so hard. I did make up a closed sign. T took it down and wrote open on the other side and tried to rehang it. As he did that I got down two bowls, and the cereal. Instructed T who had no idea what I was doing to get the milk out of the fridge. Poured two bowls and handed him the milk to put back. Walked away and casually mentioned he could bring his own bowl.
Our second laugh was a complete misunderstanding. We had been talking about Lucky and how old she was. I was trying to figure it out when mom messaged me. Came up with 11-13 years old. Chatted with mom a bit when I told Tember that she was proud of him. And he looks up at me:
‘mom she is old.’
I was stunned. I mean I know that mom is old, she is my mom but really! How rude. I told T that as well. And he stared at me like I was crazy. And than it dawned on me. He was talking about Lucky.
More laughter. More tears. More good memories made. The dust up Thursday night has become a rarely seen beast, like the Lock Ness Monster.