Zingers x 2

Daily Laughter courtesy of myself & Tember.

I have worked 7-3:30 Monday-Wednesday this week. I absolutely love this shift. However tomorrow I don’t start until 9 a.m.

Me: OMG I cannot wait. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Tember: Oh you mean like an hour later?

I laughed. I barked. When I work at 7 my alarm is set for 4:30. When I work at 9…..5:30

Lately I have been teasing Tember about being blonde.
That is right I am horrible teasing him for a cliche……have you met my son?
When I first told him he was blonde…..
‘Baby’ I said ‘there are days you are brilliant and there are days that you are blonde.’
He looks at me confused for a moment.
‘Is that like everyone making fun of redheads?’
‘Yes baby that is what it is.’

Fast forward to today.
When I purchase fruit for Tember I always try to get him to save some for the next day.
I exhort him to not eat it all.
I should know by now that it is a lost cause with watermelon.
Silly mom thinking that he would not eat it all.

I go to the fridge to grab something and sure enough……
watermelon container…..
with like 5 pieces of watermelon…..maybe a little more.
I go and stand in the doorway of his room:
‘Buddy you ate basically all the watermelon and yet
put the container back in the fridge with only a few pieces left
so you could say to me that you had not eaten it all?’
‘Yep.’
‘Buddy that is being blonde.’

He laughed. And just to clarify…. the blonde does not come from my side of the family.

May 27/20
Picture is my own

Black Market Jay

In the new reality that we are living in I have found a lot of things to keep a smile on my face and laughter spilling from my lips. Yesterday happened to be one of those days were it kept getting better and better. There was a lot of laughter.
Customer #1:
***Let it be noted I have spoken to this customer already once this week in regards to this.
Customer: Good Morning I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any 10 lb boxes of naval oranges in?
Me: No I am sorry we do not.
Customer: But you do have naval oranges in right?
Me: Yes we do.
Customer: And are they super juicy?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. I am not much of an orange eater.
Customer: Oh. Okay. Have a nice day.
I am often expected to know everything about everything.
Customer #2:
****Very obviously not one of our customers. You laugh but there is a difference in attitude and behaviour from those who are regulars and those who shop at the other stores.
I pulled a lady from check out #1 to help her.
Florist: Hi how are you today?
Woman: I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit. I cannot wait for it to be done so life can go back to normal.
Me: Were you able to find everything today?
Woman: ……..
She would not engage. She was a miserable angry woman. Which again made me see just how miserable I use to be. There is a vast difference between pre-Kaboom and post-kaboom Jay.
Last but not least Customer #3:
***Some of what I have added is humor I added when relating story to co-workers and things they added to it as well. However the conversation between myself and customer is exactly how it occurred.
I was standing at the customer service desk when I see one of my regulars coming up and I greet him.
Customer: I was told that I should come and see you about hand sanitizer.
Me: Ok if we do not have on the shelf than we do not have any in stock.
Customer: But I was told you knew where I could get some.
Me: No sorry. We have none in stock.
Now in my head I am thinking: Am I the black marketer of hand sanitizer? Why would I even want to do that?
Addition by co-worker: Headline will read ‘Jay arrested for selling black market hand sanitizer.
Me: Smaller headline ‘Door kicked in to Sanitizer Lab by RCMP’
Florist: Soon Jay you know you will be selling toilet paper, wipes, sprays, yeast out of the trunk of your car. Line ups around the block.
I laughed so much yesterday I had tears in my eyes. Humor is everywhere you look. It is all how you deal with it.
April 30/20

Flirt Stupid

****Picture stolen from Facebook-Ha ha at least there would be no doubt***
I am not looking for a relationship. At all. I think though that I have had men flirt with me. I never know.
I wear a uniform at work. Black pants. White shirt. Black sweater. Green apron. Runners.   So totally unattractive look.   My hair is usually pinned all up although of late I have been gathering just the top back.   And I am paid to talk to people. All day long. I am paid to know my regulars and what is going on in their lives. I am paid to smile. A lot. And talk, did I mention the talk?
My first instance of what may have been a man flirting with me occurred last summer. I was cashiering and this very nice man came through my checkout. Rugged. Tall. Wearing jeans and tee shirt. Baseball cap. We were joking around and laughing. I embarrassed myself by guessing he was older than he was. His response was ‘oh you must like the older men’. I was horrified. I could feel the heat in my cheeks. He told me not to go all red now-which made me blush even harder.
Once he had left and my little heart stopped doing the pitter patter I was told that laughing and joking around was indicative of flirting. Than I looked in the mirror. Black streaks. Across my forehead and cheeks. Newsprint on my hand transferred to my face. I was going to start a new make up trend. I figured the guy probably was laughing at me and well I am a cashier.
The second incident happened a couple weeks ago. Again nice looking guy. Rugged. Etc etc. Read above. With his son. I figured he was married. Working express (15 items or less) does not leave much time for detective work.  We were laughing when ‘that’ parent joke came up. I asked if he would like carry out and he indicated his son saying ‘I brought  my carry out with me.’ I began laughing and told him how my son complained that I treated him like a slave. How he did not remember signing up to be my slave. Of course he did, when I signed his birth certificate. Until 18.
His son rolled  his eyes as dad loaded him up with bags. This time no black streaks. Nothing in my teeth. But he had to be married even if there was no ring. Again, and I can’t emphasize this enough as a cashier I am friendly. I talk to people and laugh with them.
I told K about him. Explained what had gone down. The message I received back was she knew I was flirt dumb. (Much nicer than flirt stupid) Generally if there was laughing, if eye contact was maintained for longer than a 5 second count one was flirting . Again I may have missed the boat.
I would like to reiterate I do not want a relationship but male company every now and than would be nice. You know for the moments when I can’t get the lid off the spaghetti sauce. Or I need my shower head changed. Those things. 😂😂😂😂
Third flirt I believe happened today.
2nd last customer of my shift. Rolls up with a cart load of groceries. Told me I did not have to fly through his order he would come and help me bag. I assured him I did not mind bagging as he is hurrying to pile his groceries on the belt. He comes up and we begin chatting. The cashier from the till behind me was doing the bagging. I mentioned that I was just about off and he teased me that he had seen my face fall when he rolled up with his cart. I insisted I had not.  We joked back and forth and as I got to the end of his order one of our already rubbed chickens came through. Honey Sriracha. I asked how it was, if it was really spicy. He said that his kids loved it and they would not if it was spicy. I made some comment about T.
I am fairly confident that this last one was flirting. I cannot be 100% sure. And given that my job is serving people and talking to them I may come across as just being friendly. Also and here is the big one I am at work!  Next big thing is I live in a city where marriage and committed relationships are the norm. I am the anomyly.
Flirt stupid I am and flirt stupid I will remain. As the saying goes: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. 🐶🐶   😂😂

My Son :)

I apologize for back to back posts but I had to share this.

As we were driving to the school this morning, T informed me that I needed to get busy and get my stories written so I can stay home and right full time.  I mentioned to him that it had almost been a month since I had submitted my poem.

“Mom remember they have a lot to go through.”

I beamed from ear to ear and told T that he had made my entire day. He could not understand what he had done and I did not explain.

I am still smiling with warm fuzzies that he is my son.