Zingers x 2

Daily Laughter courtesy of myself & Tember.

I have worked 7-3:30 Monday-Wednesday this week. I absolutely love this shift. However tomorrow I don’t start until 9 a.m.

Me: OMG I cannot wait. I get to sleep in tomorrow.
Tember: Oh you mean like an hour later?

I laughed. I barked. When I work at 7 my alarm is set for 4:30. When I work at 9…..5:30

Lately I have been teasing Tember about being blonde.
That is right I am horrible teasing him for a cliche……have you met my son?
When I first told him he was blonde…..
‘Baby’ I said ‘there are days you are brilliant and there are days that you are blonde.’
He looks at me confused for a moment.
‘Is that like everyone making fun of redheads?’
‘Yes baby that is what it is.’

Fast forward to today.
When I purchase fruit for Tember I always try to get him to save some for the next day.
I exhort him to not eat it all.
I should know by now that it is a lost cause with watermelon.
Silly mom thinking that he would not eat it all.

I go to the fridge to grab something and sure enough……
watermelon container…..
with like 5 pieces of watermelon…..maybe a little more.
I go and stand in the doorway of his room:
‘Buddy you ate basically all the watermelon and yet
put the container back in the fridge with only a few pieces left
so you could say to me that you had not eaten it all?’
‘Yep.’
‘Buddy that is being blonde.’

He laughed. And just to clarify…. the blonde does not come from my side of the family.

May 27/20
Picture is my own

Black Market Jay

In the new reality that we are living in I have found a lot of things to keep a smile on my face and laughter spilling from my lips. Yesterday happened to be one of those days were it kept getting better and better. There was a lot of laughter.
Customer #1:
***Let it be noted I have spoken to this customer already once this week in regards to this.
Customer: Good Morning I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any 10 lb boxes of naval oranges in?
Me: No I am sorry we do not.
Customer: But you do have naval oranges in right?
Me: Yes we do.
Customer: And are they super juicy?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. I am not much of an orange eater.
Customer: Oh. Okay. Have a nice day.
I am often expected to know everything about everything.
Customer #2:
****Very obviously not one of our customers. You laugh but there is a difference in attitude and behaviour from those who are regulars and those who shop at the other stores.
I pulled a lady from check out #1 to help her.
Florist: Hi how are you today?
Woman: I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit. I cannot wait for it to be done so life can go back to normal.
Me: Were you able to find everything today?
Woman: ……..
She would not engage. She was a miserable angry woman. Which again made me see just how miserable I use to be. There is a vast difference between pre-Kaboom and post-kaboom Jay.
Last but not least Customer #3:
***Some of what I have added is humor I added when relating story to co-workers and things they added to it as well. However the conversation between myself and customer is exactly how it occurred.
I was standing at the customer service desk when I see one of my regulars coming up and I greet him.
Customer: I was told that I should come and see you about hand sanitizer.
Me: Ok if we do not have on the shelf than we do not have any in stock.
Customer: But I was told you knew where I could get some.
Me: No sorry. We have none in stock.
Now in my head I am thinking: Am I the black marketer of hand sanitizer? Why would I even want to do that?
Addition by co-worker: Headline will read ‘Jay arrested for selling black market hand sanitizer.
Me: Smaller headline ‘Door kicked in to Sanitizer Lab by RCMP’
Florist: Soon Jay you know you will be selling toilet paper, wipes, sprays, yeast out of the trunk of your car. Line ups around the block.
I laughed so much yesterday I had tears in my eyes. Humor is everywhere you look. It is all how you deal with it.
April 30/20