Mother’s Creation

Never read ‘The Babysitters Club’ as a teen/pre-teen. Netflix has a series. And I binged. Loved it.

As a parent I might be a little lax with regards to what Tember watches. He has seen both It movies. With his dad. He has watched American Dad. Family Guy. Bob’s Burgers. And I have no issues.

Lately though he has become hooked……on shows I watch……

He loves my show picks. Has no clue what his dad watches at all. Informed me today that it was impossible that I could always pick shows he wants to watch yet I do. Well now if this does not prove that he has my tastes I do not know what will.

Right now…..I am finishing up Ozark and he is watching……The Babysitters Club.

Today is different from when I grew up. Our shows now are divided into two areas of interest…….baby/young adult-adult/reality. I had innocence. It is not that during the ’70’s in my world there were no problems……I was not aware. Unlike today where everything and anything is put on t.v.

I do not have cable. I have Netflix and Amazon Prime. My interests range from historical to historical mystery (Murdoch Mysteries) to dark shows (Ozark-Better call Saul) to light musicals (Glee) to young adult (The Babysitters Club) I watch what I want when I want. And the child has same tastes.

I have forbidden Tember to watch one show. Sons of Anarchy. I draw the line here. I explained to him that it was situational……that it had to do with family…..ideals of family…..but the violence is graphic and I felt that it was not appropriate for him to watch. And he informed me that it was about a biker gang and he has no desire to watch/witness/see what the show depicts.

I know there are going to be those who disagree with my parenting style. We are all different. How we teach our children. What we want them to learn. What we are willing to let slide and what cannot.

Tember watching adult cartoons. Least of my worries. What I do worry about…..bullying….grades…..contentment….mental health…..kindness…..

All I want is to bring my child up to respect women. To work for his living. To not feel he is entitled because he is white. To be kind. Empathetic. To stick up for those who are afraid or who have no voice. I want Tember to be better than me.

I realize these are huge ideals. That I am pushing Tember to be more kind than I am. No illusions. He bullied a boy at school but has become friends with him. They now play on-line video games.

When I received the email from his teacher…..I was livid. When I asked Tember about it he told me he knew I was going to be mad. He had spent all night thinking about it. When he explained situation I asked him to explain how asking if one thinks Minecraft is dumb or is ******dumb sound even similar. Tember raised his hand indicating he thought ****** was dumb. Told me he misunderstood the question.

I told him I was disappointed. That I had taught him better. That I had taught him to speak up for those who cannot/will not. He demanded to me what I would have done? No one would listen to him anyways. I looked at him and told him ‘Were you to have stood up and said no this is wrong. This is not how we treat others.’ Even if they did not listen you did the right thing.

Believe me I am not the best role model. I do not always practice what I preach. I do not always practice behaviour I want Tember to emulate.

What I do try to do is show Tember the world through kind and caring eyes. To see others before he sees himself. To be better than I am.

I have a beautiful boy. He has a kind heart. He is beginning to see the world around him differently. He is beginning to realize everything is not black and white.

My legacy…..giving unto the world a man who sees with his heart…..thinks with his mind…..using facts…..showing compassion and understanding. At least this is what I hope my legacy will be. If I can keep him from picking his nose in public….I consider that a win. LOL

穢July 11/20
Picture is mine

 

 

 

 

 

Let The Next Phase Begin

No I am not talking about Covid 19. I am not talking about borders or reopening economies and provinces.
When Tember was born nigh on 12 years ago the ex and I we took out a loan. I have been looking forward to the day I no longer have to pay. There are things I want/need that having this extra money would make easier. I really really really need a new couch. Badly. Was thinking about a new mattress but today I purchased a sherpa fluffy mattress cover which has changed the whole game. New bed all around lol. Tember wants me to leave so he can go roll around on the softness. 不不不不
The ex recently took out loan. He wants a few things and also this will pay for my name being taken off the land title giving him sole ownership of the property. Which will then lead to him renewing mortgage without my name. When I left the marriage I gave him the house and property. Were he to have sold in the first two years we would have worked something out. However he has not. And I am fine with that.
Earlier today I checked my bank account and noticed something was a little different but I was checking balance so did not look too closely. Was looking at calendar and thought I would text ex and see when he was signing papers. Which when he responded to me threw me for loop. He had already signed them.
I reopened my banking app and logged in. Sure enough it was gone. No more loan amount. I will not lie I cried. For me this is huge. For the first time in 20 years I do not have an extra payment. 20 years. I sent ex a message telling him I was so thankful and grateful that he did not realize how much this meant to me. He said I was welcome.
Now my ex and I have had our issues. But we also have worked very hard to become friends who can discuss things such as this. Who can co-ordinate and share our son amicably. I know there are those who think that what we have is weird…….I get that…..not everyone has a great relationship with their ex. Some exes are bat shit crazy. There is no help. Yet we have made it work. For Tember I think that is the most important thing. He sees this. It is imperative that he realize just because two people no longer want a relationship that when children are involved everyone should to the best of their ability do this. Again there are those bat shit crazy exes who there is no help for.….I do not fall in this category. Although ask the ex and he might disagree.不不不不
I am going to enjoy this lack of extra payment and having to budget for it. And for those who are wondering……a couch will be coming but for now all my extra money will be going to feed the growing child in my house.
穢July 11/20
Picture is my own