Coffee Time

So today was absolutely amazing. I mean yeah we had a little bit of yelling given that my idea of clean and T’s is totally different. He cried. We did it together. Let me back track for you a bit. (Nothing like acting as thought we were all just having coffee and I am picking up in the middle of the story.)

Today was the start of my 5 day holiday. I took today as my day off and tomorrow as a holiday day. I could sleep in. Instead I was awake at 5 a.m.  Yes you saw that right. I laid in bed scrolling Facebook wondering if I should go exercise. Well I was exercising by 5:30 a.m.  Threw a load of laundry in and sat down to read emails and coffee. Put clothes in dryer and discovered that it was broken. The high pitched whining shriek was horrific. Chatted with a friend.  Read emails. Drank coffee.

7:30 a.m. I waken T and force him to come into the living room. I tempted him with a cup of coffee and he curled up on the couch. We talked about his Wonder questions. He is fascinated with WW II so that is what he was researching. Discovered that he writes one long sentence. Like when I say one long sentence what I mean is that I was able to make 10 shorter sentences but was told by T that this was not acceptable if the sentence is not really long it is not a sentence. See what I did there? We brainstormed ideas and yes I admit that I helped him but it was all him and his writing. Which you know mom was doing her best to just let it go…….Finished and submitted 45 minutes before the time I had told his teacher.

Just after 9 a.m. I call the rental agency regarding the shrieking dryer. Arranged to have repair place call me. Off T and me went to the bank. On Sunday we walked to the bank to deposit $25 dollars into my account so that T could make some Fortnite purchases. The atm proceeded to tell us that it could not read one bill and deposited the $20. Did not give us back the $5.00. I am quite unsure why I was asked over and over if I had gotten the $5 back. Um hi over here I am coming in to ask you to investigate this but yes I got my $5 back. Seriously. Also when I called on Monday I talked to a guy did not catch his name and he is the one who told me to come in and start the investigation. I mentioned this and the CS manager asked who and I responded with some guy. Snarkily under her breath she mutters ‘of course’ hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Off we go to gas up the car and wash it. Finally. Told T whatever was left over of the $10 I had to wash car with would be his. Home and now we are all caught up and we will fast forward to the crying and yelling. Yes we both have different ideas (until we began cleaning room but wait……) I mean I told him to pick up all the garbage and he goes ‘I did”. What do you mean you did? I can see no less than 10 pieces of garbage still on the floor. So a bargain is made. I help T clean his room and he will help me clean the rest of the apartment.

Went through T’s closet. Discovered that the vacuum had been clogged and that is why it was not sucking anything up. Unstuck it. Cleaned. Next thing I know he is gone. Walk into the living room and the kid is sitting on the couch foot on his knee sawing away at his toe nail. Does not want to get an ingrown one. Finished cleaning his room which he now loves by the way and we set up the new bed frame. The Ex text to say he was ready to meet us at Wal-Mart to pick up the mattress. Turns out I could have picked up the bed frame and mattress in the car. Mattress was shipped rolled up. Super cool. And mom rocks the win. Not only reasonably priced but I got free shipping!

Now I turn my attention to the rest of the apartment. My helper once more conveniently disappears. Oh well. Oh and I am still waiting for the repair guy. I start in on the bathroom and ask T to watch/listen for the repair man as I was cleaning/rinsing bathtub and could not hear over the water. 3:25 the repair guy shows up. Easy fix a new bearing was required. Told me that for someone who had been in the apartment for 3 years it was super clean. He goes into a lot and apparently I maintain everything well. Awesome. I think?

Finish cleaning the apartment and wash the floors. Decided that while I was still standing would shower so I did. Sat on couch. Am now so exhausted am not sure what I am going to do. Or how I am going to get to bed. I do not think that I can walk.

I started off that this was an amazing day and it was. I spent the day with T. This kid is hilarious. I cannot make up the stuff that comes out of his mouth.

Me: T you know what we have why are you in the fridge again? (this is the 8th time he has opened the fridge door in 5 minutes.)

T: I’m a kid mom that is just the way I roll.

Are you kidding me?

One last one Tism to share.

Driving T to school and there is an elderly gentleman in shorts and a loose button up shirt watering his boulevard. I made a comment about it not being that warm to be out doing this. T asks what he is doing. I explain and yes I was stereotyping that he was probably retired. This is the conversation that followed.

T: Retired? He looked like he was only 20.

Me: Um yeah no he was mid 60’s at least.

T: Wow he must be living the dream huh mom?

Good night folks I will leave it there. T and me will be around all week, heck all year if you like.

****Picture is the bed frame and mattress. I took it. T loves it. He has not moved since I set it up.****

 

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Mom’s Embrace

I watched you walk away
A split image
No more than that
A view of…..
The child you were
The boy you are
The teenager you will be
To the man you become.
In that moment
My heart swelled
With love
With motherly pride
And I realized
The fights we have
The life we have
It is one unique to us
One we have crafted
Together.
I may not be a proper mom
I don’t bake
I use curse words
(Not naive…..
You have heard them before)
I drink
But I am your mother
And you make me perfect.
Son
From the day you were born
To the day that I die
(And beyond….
Like that isn’t creepy)
I vowed to love you
I swore to protect you
To always be your touchstone.
I will always be here
Never worry about that
Even in anger
Know that you can always come
And shelter in mom’s embrace.
 
©May 12/19
Meme found on Pinterest

Lessons Learned

This started off as a daily post has turned into a rambling full of everything post. 
 
Today started off well enough. T seemed to be in a great mood until he wasn’t. One of his daily chores is to empty out his school bag. Lunch kit. Not hard chore I am not asking him to scrub between the tiles with a toothbrush. Last night he ‘forgot’ given he had to take out the garbage. Clean the cat litter. Put dishes away. How could I expect him to remember everything?
I make his lunch and put it into a plastic bag. T comes out and says he brought his lunch kit home and I should put his lunch in there. I said no you should have cleaned out your bag last night.
This lead to a couple of tirades which I listened to. T thought he was winning. Than he bombshells well attempts to bombshell shame me (me ha I am shameless) with ‘you know mom people are going to start to think we are poor!’ I took a sip of my coffee peering over the rim at him. ‘T I do not care what people think about us I know our truth.’
T sat there staring at me and could think of no good come back so he just glared at me. Forced him to come into living room with me. Had more ranting and raving. And demanding to know why he had to come out 10 minutes before we had to leave. Which lead to the conversation about his ability to slow down time. 
Seriously this kid has a great super power that I wish I had had. He can control time. Not in the speed it up so work day is over but sloooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwsssssss it all the way down. Told him that he could turn 5 minutes into 15. I was told I had no patience. I am trying not to laugh but this conversation…..
Next I told him hoping he would understand  that he could turn a minute into an hour. He counted to sixty. I said trying to remember it was a metaphor. Apparently I am making up words. Tried to explain and was told he did not want to learn any more new words. Google it. For my knowledge and I was wrong. Still can’t remember what the word is to define the minute/hour analogy? I will google that too.
T is beyond pissed off at me. We get into the car and he is glaring out the window when it hits me. 
‘OMG buddy I am so sorry, I forgot how dramatic it is to be your age!’
T looks over at me. I am grinning like an idiot. T is so not impressed.
‘Text Chichi buddy she will tell you all about my dramatic personality.’
I am dramatic. And Chichi is waiting for his text. 
Driving T to school and I am chattering away. It is math quiz day. T is struggling with math. I am doing the best that I can to help him. New math sucks. The whole write it all out is ridiculous….let me tell you the math I learned which is the same as T is learning but longer and well…….
I told T that all I expected from him was his best. He is still glaring out the window. So I continue to chatter away…..telling him that I know he always gives his best….does his best…..but every so often he just needs a little pinch in the bum to goose him along. LMAO his head whipped around so fast and he was trying so hard but I caught the giggle.
Dropped the boy off at school.
Our week was like this. Back and forth. One day all was good. One day I was evil. 
We head into spring break. 
This week has been glorious. For the first time since December 2018 I am alone all week. Walk around the house naked. Yes I had T and K (his bff) for one night. That is all. M K’s mom and one of my BFF’s has basically had them all week long. Saturday to Tuesday with M. Tuesday night me. Wed through til Fri with the ex. He he he he. Fri to Sunday with M. 
I was given the option to take T and K for an extra night. Oh hell no. No no no. 
T and me are home before the whole week long visit/hang out starts.
‘Hey mom??’
‘Yes???’ he never asks without an ulterior motive.
‘I was thinking. You know if I was an adult and I had my kid as much as you have me, were my ex wife to have extra time off, I would insist that she take them. That is only fair.’
I stammered a little…….but he pashwed me. 
‘Mom I know that you love me……but we need time.’
My boy. He is the light and love of my life. He is also without a doubt a carbon copy of me in the male form. Not sure if I mentioned but T asked me not that long ago if anyone ever said that he and I looked alike. He is physically an amalgamation of his father and myself.  Mom recently mentioned that she noticed T and K (his cousin) had the same smile Someone (I think is was M-K’s mom) said that from the nose down T is me.
He is sassy. He is smart ass. He has some come backs that make me bite my tongue. Do not giggle. To giggle means he wins.
Once upon a time…..I was told that the reason my mom and me butted heads so bad….why me and that idiot brother of mine always were at one another’s throats……we are all too damn similar. 
T and me……he is the male version of me. So much younger. But I can look at him and I can see…..which is why I mock myself….laugh and tease……being a tween/teen is hard enough……never mind having all the adults in your life riding you. So I do my best to let T know…..mistakes happen…..lessons are hard to learn sometimes……let us do the best we can and the rest will fall a-line.  

Math & T.V.

Last night T and me are working on his dreaded math extra work. But it is not so dreaded when it gets down to it. All they have to do is write out the steps to show how they arrive at answer. Same way I learned just longer and time wasting but who am I to argue with the great minds who came up with this ‘new’ math.
However not what this is about.
T did the 2nd question himself and he came slow close. It is when he transfers # over that he is losing something. The pencil he is using has thick lead maybe a finer clicker pencil will help. He did awesome job and even though we forgot some places he felt more confident. He even said ‘mom after this I will bring home more to work on.’ ‘Math?’ ‘Yes math. Hey mom can you teach me to type like you type? I mean I know how to type but it is hard on laptop.’ 
This here is the following reenactment of actual events. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. No one was harmed in the making of this event. 
I looked over at him a little musically. 
‘Sure. But The keyboard layout is the same as the typewriter I used to teach myself on?’
‘A typewriter?’ T states at me like I have grown two more heads.
‘Um yes a typewriter. I took typing class because it was an easy A elective and as I wanted to be a writer I could not be typing two fingered. So I sat with my book and over the weekend taught myself to type. After that it was fine tuning finger placement.’
I showed him where my fingers were placed. Was told I did not know my finger names. Turns out Pointer Finger is a technical term. Who knew?
‘So mom if you didn’t have computers how did you watch t.v.?’
Well how the hell do I know? I told him there were big round things that bounced signals around.I have no idea what I am talking about so I am making large arm movements to distract him from the jibberish falling from my lips. 
‘And mom if there were no computers how did they make t.v. shows?’
‘They filmed them with a camera. Like today.’
‘But how did it get into your t.v.?’
I could only look at him. I have no idea what to say to him. He hugs me and takes off into his room while I sat there. Bemused and chuckling I am in for the adventure of a lifetime and we are just getting started.
March 7/19

To Math or Not to Math……

How I ruined T’s life……again…..
Received an email from T’s teacher. He has been struggling to learn math. Understanding the formulas etc. Has not engaged with the help that has been offered to him. Was completely unable to answer questions on last math quiz because he did not understand. Well I sent a note back saying that she should send work home for T and he and I would work on them. And if the work did not make it home with him I was more than willing to pick it up from the school.
Waited for T to get home. Had sent the email to the ex but have heard nothing back from him.
‘Hello.’
‘Hey buddy how was your weekend?’
‘Good. Yours?’
‘Good. We have to talk about your math T. You are not doing well so Mrs. S is going to be sending work home with you.’
‘I am not doing homework.’
‘Yes you are.’
And it began. Drama King came out on his white charger. Surly Boy reared his head too and the attitude poured off of him.
How could I ruin his life like this? Did I not want him to have any fun? And how is it fair that the school can just email the parents? Why can they do that? They should not be able to email parents like this! He went on and on and on. I sat here staring at him calmly. At the end of his rant he went to pick up his bag with the Xbox in it. I stopped him.
He was not getting his Xbox not with that attitude he was throwing my way. But moooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm…….yeah no.
So he goes into his room and begins to kick things around. Throwing things and banging on his door. Until I told him to stop it. At which time he asked me if I had any boxing gloves? Why? I asked (not that I do) He wanted to punch his bedroom door until he broke it. Is this normal boy behaviour? I am not a boy so I really cannot say. Again yeah no.
Chores. Do the chores and maybe I will let you have your Xbox back. Without attitude. Some stomping of feet, muttering under his breath, half-assedly cleaning the cat litter box and feeding the cats. Stared at me while I contemplated……contemplated……..would he like some honey garlic wings if I made some? After a suitable amount of fear time (this is the amount of time one can stall whilst giving child heart attack that you may change your mind) I told him he could take it.
I made the wings. Told T that they were ready and if he wanted some he had to come out to the living room. He did. Sat next to me while we watched some show.
‘Mom I am sorry about earlier.’
‘I know you are and thank you for saying so. You still are going to have to do the homework with me.’
Sigh of disgruntled disgust. We start tomorrow when we get home from his dad’s. There will most likely be a lot of cursing and hair pulling. That of course is just myself on the inside as I work with T to understand these concepts. Wish us luck folks. 

Ruined I say!

***This post was written a few weeks ago but today I was able to finish.***
So….I have decided because he is so funny and a wealth of posts that I will create a new category…..I ruined his Life. T and me have been fighting a lot. And in every instance I ruined his life. These are the stories…..
Let us begin with Monday. 6:41 a.m. my phone rings. It is the school division letting me know that school was cancelled. Had they been any later and I would not have somewhere for T to go. Messaged ex and he stopped to pick T up. Brought him home in eveninng too. I worked 9:30-6. My day was easy. The Ex drops T off at 9:30ish. In the evening.
 So Tuesday morning. All is good until the end……T suddenly cannot find his hat. This hat that means life or death…..if he does not have this hat he is going to die. This is his favorite hat. Okay it is fricken freezing out. There is snow in my car. He is acting like a shit. Do not gasp in disgust…..every single parent out there has had the asshole moment. And you know what, we are going to face the asshole a whole shit load before they turn 18. This applies to daughters as well.
He left the hat on my couch. Nope. I cleaned on Sunday. There was no hat on my couch. 
Now it is 8:50. T has to be at school in 10 minutes. He is refusing to leave because he cannot find his hat. This hat is his favorite. And where is it? What did I do with it? 
So now, I am livid. He is pulling this shit…..the I am going to move slower than a sloth shit……I am boiling. Screaming. 
He finds a hat. Not his favorite but 2nd favorite.
 Wednesday a.m. I run to store to get sugar get home and he is still in bed. See Wednesday is shower day. That was awesome. Screaming. Water every where and how can I be so mean??????
 I get him clean. I thought all was good. All was not good. Omfg where did the hat go? He threw it at the PC last night. It should be on the floor. OMFG I lost it. Like lost it. Stuffed animals flew and T was screaming that I had ‘hurt’ him. The google eyes on his stuffies hurt him. I was seriously pissed.  There was much screaming. Oh holy hell…..I threw it here……you moved it and if not you the cats!! What????? The cats moved your damn hat. So once more there is screaming and yelling and I don’t know who is the loudest….me or him.
More fights. More mom is killing me. Omg she hurt me.I do not deserve this. 
Thursday….Mom……Yes T…..I found my hat…..Really where?…Over here where you looked. I did not look there. You said you threw it over here. You blamed me and my ninja like moves. You accused the cats of moving your hat.  We were totally out to get you.
Sooooooooo…..you tossed your hat….and I am at fault…..oh hell no…..I am calling you out.
Evil mom rides again. Me and the cats…..we deserve an apology. 
 I did not get a sorry. The cats did  not get an apology. However he calmed his shit down.
 Until today (Feb 17/19) Mom did some bad juju. But that is a story for tomorrow.

Saturday January 26/19

T and me are hanging out. On a Saturday night. Okay late afternoon but whatever.
I have been watching (okay binging on) Wentworth. Precursor to Orange is the New Black. That one is next on my watch list. T is extremely interested in the show and well considering all the shit that one can find on Youtube I am not about to block him from watching. And he is watching with me. Sitting on the couch next to me. He has his blanket and favorite pillow. He has settled in for the duration. There are 6 seasons. He is in the living room with me. His Xbox is turned off and shut down. He is sitting here asking me questions.
Last night the Ex and me were texting. It has been decided that the Xbox is no longer going to be welcome at the Ex’s. He liked having T hang out with him and do other things than gaming. I get that. I still have not given him permission to play with his friends and he has not. There is no sneaking. He plays Farming Simulator 2019 and watches Youtube. He plays with his lego. He wants to hang out with me. He wants to hang out with his dad.Thinking that we might have stumbled onto something here.
I am a little afraid though. T is not acting like surly boy. He is being my sweet child. Hanging out with me. Playing with his cars and lego. He put the dishes away while I was washing the others. He is talking to me. Non-stop which I cannot complain about. A) I am a chatterbox and he takes after me. B) He is in the living room hanging out with me.
However as much as he is like me there are aspects of his father coming through. I watched season one by myself. T is coming in on season two. And the questions he is asking. Nonstop. Now we are watching the same episodes together. Therefore I know as much as he does. ‘Mom why is she bleeding?’ ‘Mom what happened to the girl with the foaming mouth?’ ‘Mom……mom……..mom…….’ When the Ex and me were together Sunday was recoup and movie day. Chicken day if we had extra money. We would be watching a movie and he would be asking me questions about what was going on. Seriously? I have watched what you have watched how can I know what is going on? I am not able to foresee what is coming.
T believes he is a comedian. He also thinks that I am funny. Was giving him the mom glare (not really) and he was giggling away. So I did it again. Was told to stop so Lucky would not get off his lap. Lucky has been driving me insane. Always on top of me. I bribed him not to move with getting him a drink of Pepsi. However I decided to do dishes so he had to get up and put away the other dishes. Lucky was not impressed at all with either of us.
T stood at the kitchen sink putting away clean ones as I am washing others. We talked. A lot.
He is not impressed with my reason for liking Canada. I asked him why? I mean I was born here pretty sure I like my country. Maybe not wanting to live in the coldest province in all of Canada but it is my country. He informs me that liking Canada because marijuanna has been legalized is not a reason to like it. Oh boy. Now I am in for it.
We had a discussion about marijuanna. We had a discussion about the fact he is telling his father things about me. He tells me dad does not care. I told him once more that like Vegas…..what happens in my home stays in my home…..what happens in his father’s home stays in his father’s home. He never tells me anything. What am I doing that makes me so interesting to T that he needs to tell his dad?????? Oh and I discovered that he is talking to his friends about us. LOL I mean to be expected right? Getting older and needs people to confide in who are not related to him.
It is funny how many unlearned traits T has. An unlearned trait is something that  is prevelant in your family but you never know how you began to do it. Mine was I use to punch the Ex in the arm when I was proven right/said something funny. He told me not to. Asked me not to. I had no idea where I got this weird thing I did. Until I stayed with mom and grandma when T was premature. Mom had come down asking if grandma had seen her black sheet. She could not find anywhere. Grandma starts to chortle. Says to mom ‘you mean the one you have hanging up to blackout light?’ and than she punched me. In the arm.
Now for T. We are sitting here chatting away when a car pulls up. Our parking spot is 2nd last and visitor parking comes next. We hear the tires crunching over the snow. He is off the couch in a flash and peeking out the blinds. I laughed so hard. Sent mom a message telling her about it. Asked who it reminded her of. First answer was Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched. (Had to explain that to T) Her second response? Is it someone famous? Me staring incredulously at my phone wtf? Really????? I message back um no you and grandma. Mom came back with: ‘I know that! Uncle and Aunt do too!’ If you knew it why did you not say?????
I realize I have been all over the place here with T’s actions and comments. But truth be told were you sitting next to me on the couch or talking to me on the phone….this would be our conversation. One thing leads to another and while they all make sense in my mind maybe not yours.
Today has been a good day. T has hung with me. T has hung out with me. Really that is all that matters.
Addendum: I allowed T to game 1 hour with his friend tonight. 1 hour. At 3 minutes to the hour I reminded him. Bedroom door slammed shut. Replying to message realize it is 9:19 so I go to tell him to get off. I opened the door and said to him ‘T…..’ realized he was already watching Youtube. Told him I was proud of him for listening to me. He asked me to leave his room. I did after again telling him how proud of him I was. 🙂