You Tricked Me!

At 8:30 I went in and told Tember that I would be back at 10.
He would be getting up.
No ands ifs or buts about it.
And he better not make me get the squirt bottle.
10 comes and I go in.
Okay 9:58 but still close enough.
I jump on his bed and begin to poke him..
Bug him.
Tickle him
Sang to him.
He giggled a little but still would not get up.
I did what any self respecting mother would do at this point…..I took his comforter away and put it in the wash.
In my defense it was time to wash the thing as it stunk.
Tember has had since he was 2.
It is falling apart.
He refuses to give it up.
I digress.
He pouts.
He whines.
And whines.
And whines.
I get annoyed.
At 10:58 the washer stops and I go throw clothes in dryer.
Oooooops clothes from laundry two days ago.
I am not ashamed.
After throwing his blanket in I poked my head into his room.
Me: So I guess you are not coming?
T: Coming where?
Me: With me to Tim Hortons. You don’t come you don’t get anything.
T: Well what are you getting?
Me: IDK but if you don’t come you get nothing.
It took some cajoling but finally he catapulted.
I even was able to get in a walk around the block route.
I may have not been very forthcoming what a walk around the block looked like.
He moaned and groaned a little bit and we walked.
Into a northern wind.
NW according to my phone.
Chilly.
Which lead to much mocking of me by Tember.
He over-exaggerates my dislike of cold weather.
But hey at least he was no longer moping but laughing.
As we came near to our destination I suggested walking further.
To no avail.
I suggested crossing the street walking to 4th and back.
Was told it was pointless.
I said I wanted to walk longer.
Tember decided at this point that this whole thing has been a trick.
Me: No. I like walking with you. We talk. We are spending time together. We can be sewn at the hip.
T: Ummmm……no
M: What you don’t want to spend time with me?
T: The sewn at the hip thing.
M: Well…..stitched together
T: Mom we would have to go to the bathroom together. We would have to sleep together. Mom we would have to shower together!
***I am giggling***
M:Okay maybe not that…..how about hooks. So when we wanted to do different things we could unhook.
T: Mom! No that just sounds painful.
***I may have wet myself a little as I gasped with laughter.
Anyone overhearing would be wondering wtf.
And I totally blame him for the leakage when I laugh.
All his fault.
This is our normal types of conversations.***
T: And it would catch on things
M: No you would have normal shirts on when not attached.
T: Still gonna catch on something.
M: We will velcro it. Attach velcro to the other side and it will hold it down. No catching.
***Tember stops and looks at me. I am dying.***
M: Stop making me laugh! I am going to pee myself.
T: Mom everything sounds painful.
M: So……no to the going for a walk? Or no to being stitched together at the hip?
Tember did come up with a compromise.
Got our food and treats. (Chillers and donuts w/sandwiches-Amazing)
We walked back the semi long way.
Crossing the gas station parking lot horizontally.
We had a fun time despite Tember being annoyed at me for making him get up.
As I sat here typing it suddenly flashed on my screen that one no make that two Amazon packages were delivered.
Um no……..
Clicked open tracking and there is a picture of my front door with two packages.
Tember’s school supplies: decent geometry set and french/english dictionary.
For me one last late birthday gift: Amazon FiretvStick.
Going to go and install.
Wish me luck.
Happy Sunday Sweeties.
©Sept. 13/20
Picture is my own

And you’re the Adult?

The other day walking home from school Tember pulled a crab apple type looking apple from a tree. 
He looked at me and asked if he could eat it.
Aghast I said no.
He wanted to know why not?
 
Me: Tember do you pick things up off the ground and eat them?
Tember: Yep
Me: What? (Head swivels to stare at him)
Tember: I pick up poop. And oh once it was a dead rat. That one was pretty tasty.
Me: Okay I am going to admit that was a stupid question.
 
©Sept. 12/20
Picture is mine