Word of the Day Challenge #71-Untitled Poem

Beneath my feet
crystal grass tinkles
each step
another broken shard
driven through my heart
at how callous you are.
Nightmares gave way to light
beneath your sheltering hand
monsters driven
back into the woods
barred
broken down.
Bleak shawl
worn as a cowl
drawn over my head
pushed back
feeling the sun again
upon my face.
Song birds
chirp
chitter
sweet romance
on spring’s air
I came to you
tentative smile
pleading desperation
please do not hurt.
Stand upon the pier
gaze upon silver streaked waves
lover’s lament
tears mixed with rain
as I watched your hand
finally
slowly
slip beneath the surface.

©Nov. 9/19
Picture via Pinterest

I weep…..

**Picture found on Internet**
I weep….
sitting beneath the spreading limbs
of the oak tree
where first we made love.
I weep….
rememberances of our time together
spearing the air before me
as you leave my life.
I weep….
not with regret
not with pain
not with hate
but with sorrow for you.
I weep….
knowing that you shall never understand
the truth that I offered to you
the life that you could have had
if only you would reach.
I weep….
with sadness
for alone you shall be
never knowing
what love offered
unhindered
unfettered
with my own wants and needs.
I weep….
having to whisper goodbye
because no longer
am I able to hold you near.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Blurred Chaos

The blurred chaos surrounds me
enveloping
enshrouding
sucking everything in
wrecking havoc on my senses.
I want to dig my fingers into my skull
and pull from within
this mass of pink ooze,
that with mere electrical impulses
and levels of seretonin
can reduce me
to this mess.
I want to tear my heart from my chest
yes I realize
not even a realistic portrait
but it is a symbol
of love and loss
pain and sorrow.
I need to be free of the malestrom of emotions
swirling so palpably
a cyclone of my own making.
I want to no longer fear
to no longer deny
I want to be free
I want to be happy.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 27/17

Days & Nights

There are days when I can walk free.
Days when I can feel the sunlight on my skin.
Days when I no longer wear sorrow
as a garment of my mourning.
Days where sunlight dapples the leaves.
Honeysuckle in the air.
The heat a lover’s caress
as I am able to pretend
yet again,
that you had not left me.
Days where our favorite song erupts from every station
where the scent of your cologne
permeates the air,
the water,
my very being
and I cannot break free.
Nights where I can fall to slumber.
Morpheus barely needs to draw
the line from my soul to my dreams
as he guides my fantasies along.
Nights where the thunder roars.
Rain slashing the window pane.
When the rage,
red and black,
filled me with terror.
There are memories
stored deep in the black of my mind.
Ones that I shan’t access
for should I;
my ability to wake, to live, to be,
would be as dead as you are to me.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
November 21/17

Untitled 12

Once I danced along,

streets covered in golden dreams

believing the fantasy

that I built from nothing.

Now I creep alone

through empty concrete dreams

my fantasies but ash within my mouth

as my tears bring no relief.

I rend my heart in bitterness

curse my soul that remakes my wound

the scar marking the damage done;

damage I cannot get away from.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

September 6/17