Taken Back

This is the 3rd poem continuing from Ugly Reality and I own You….Branded. Please note this deals with abuse and the imagery used here may possibly trigger memories and pain. Please read only if comfortable.
Sitting
lank hair falling forward
screened face
hiding
all looking at me
all searching
seeking
answers.
Hands
limp between thighs
cuffed together
where do they think I will go?
What do they think I will do?
Blood
slow
spreads not like water
thicker
steady movement
a splash of paint
drying on pale walls.
Voices
come hard
fade away
lost in the past
in spells of memory.
You were not this way
you were not so cold
those first days of love.
You held my hand
wove tales of futures unknown
pulled me in
pulled me close
sucked me in
then the abuse began.
Pinches causing bruises
punches placed
hidden from sight
scratches
you even raped me.
Not once
not twice
over and over again
mind
body
soul.
It became too much.
I could no longer contain
rage
simmering
burning
beneath the surface
out of reach.
I provoked it.
I pushed.
I pulled.
I knew how to do it.
I found my pride 
I found my worth
you bloody bastard
I return your curse.
I warned you.
This was the last time you would touch me.
You laughed
face contorted in rage
reaching one last time.
My face swells
blood dried on my clothes
torn
rended clean
pitying glances
I no longer care
for finally
you are gone.
Sometimes the Angel of Death only plays.
Sometimes the Angel of Death arrives
Upon Pale Horse 
decreed it has been said
to take home the unblessed.
©March 1/20
Picture via Pinterest

I own You…..Branded

This is the 2nd poem in what seems to be a three part poem.
Please note this deals with abuse and the imagery used here
 may possibly trigger memories and pain. Please read only if
comfortable.
***The series begins with the poem: Ugly Reality
Bitch
how dare you
defy me 
talk back to me
make me look stupid!
Get over here
in front of me right now
do not look in my eyes
who told you 
who is giving you these airs?
Crack
heavy handed slap
fall to the floor
 curled in a ball
tears streaking down her face.
Pain
unimagined by the masses
daily
body aches
bones break
reset
re-break
multiple concussions
black eyes
her medical records
a tale of agony
lacerations
belt marks
what did she do wrong?
People
they see without seeing
yet what aid can they offer?
Reach out a helping hand
abuse never ends
until he is gone……
jailed
dead
it matters not
it will be the only way to recover.
Death comes in many forms
wearing many faces
never to be evaded
never to turn its hand
except…..
when torture becomes too much.
Cradle her head
blood
life fleeing
tiny cry
remember
there is another
fight her way back.
Bitch you are my property.
You are mine.
I own you.
Never will you get away
I will always bring you back.
©Feb. 29/20
Picture via Pinterest

I am not a Monster

Malicious laughter
grating in ear
hair gripped tight
hands grabbing
holding
pulling free
tearing clothing off
taking what does not belong
nor freely given.
Heavy breath
face pressed to concrete
tears
unshed
glitter on lashes
bite marks
guttural moan
you are done with me.
Little white boy
daddy’s paid
cronies bought
rape
turned into…..
between two drunken teens.
Liar
liar
pants on fire
you heard me say no…..
you heard me say no motherfucker 
two more times.
Innocent you are
judged so
by misogynistic men
with black skeletons
dastardly sins
locked in their own closets.
You begged.
You pleaded.
You screamed no.
Over…..
and over…..
and over.
Imploring with me
mouthing false apologies
thinking to sway
my soft feminine heart.
Walked away
heard the piteous moan
so unlike the one
you made
taking from me
safety
peace of mind.
I am not a monster.
Called an ambulance I did
vigilante justice
you will never
ever
hurt another woman again.
©Feb. 8/20
Picture via Pintrest

New Year…..New Me…..New Decade….New Everything

I watched the sun rise
faint pink blush
golden pulses fill the sky
hues of purple
sense of serenity
sense of peace
finally here
in my happy place.
I struggled.
I abused myself.
I tried to hide.
I am not that little girl.
I am not that frightened teenager.
I am not that beaten/destroyed woman.
No longer afraid…..
of what life has to offer.
To dream.
To love.
To chase what I want.
To be me…..
Writer.
Mother.
Daughter.
Sister.
There is more to me
than these four facets…..
there is adoration
there is pride
there is determination…..
I leave behind me
a decade/life time
of pain
of anger/rage
of despair
of thoughts no longer there.
I begin this New Year
this New Decade
strong
beautiful
and solely
100 %
Me.
©Dec. 31/19
Picture is my own

Cute I am Not…..

I am not a sweet little kitten.
I am not a marshmallow
with an ooey gooey center
sweet upon the tongue.
I am a warrior.
I fought through hell
to stand on my own
without safety handholds.
I am a dragon.
Breathing fire
vanquishing my enemies
who dare to laugh
to taunt
to derail the truth that I embrace…..
the reality that is mine.
I am a wolf.
Running free
bounding through snow
cavorting with my pack
bold
sleek
fast
I will not be caught
I will not be tamed.
I am wild.
I stand tall
ferocious
protecting myself
warning off those who come near
intent on destruction
poisoned lips whispering dead words
trying to break down
take down
that which is not understood.
I am a goddess.
I am a woman.
I am terrifying.
Seriously……
Stop it…….
Stop laughing……
I so can be ferocious. 
(Pouting & stomping feet)
©Dec. 9/19
Picture via Pinterest

Divine Executioner

Garbed
wimple
penguin robe
head bowed in devote summation
eyes aglitter
rot within
I love this game I play.
I am tired.
tired of the sexism
Tired of the lies.
Tired of the pain.
Tired of it all.
This time
this era
it is one of the harshest I have seen
which morality’s lack
men slack
wrack and ruin at hand.
Desolate
a future no one wants to see
branded upon my mind
my heart
cutting my tongue from my lips
spout not the truth
speak not the validity of time.
Saintly
I am not
moving with delicate grace
gliding behind
dagger in hand
plunging through his back.
Slip away
quiet as a cat
demon’s will done
I have won
once again.

©Nov. 2/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #63-Untitled Poem

***Not indicative of how I am feeling now.***
Indecision
pain settled deep
left to decide on my own
whether or not
I want to go on.
Look at me
Look at her 
(voices whisper in my ear)
Can you see the stain
ripe on my soul?
Black
rotten
making me ache
with pain
with fear
with anger
that no one seems to care.
Locked deep within
taking care to stay
simmer below the line of consciousness
stray thoughts
bubbling to the surface
never mind my tears
as I provide solace to myself.
Claw marks upon my arms
face
neck
I work to destroy the daemon within.
Subtle
words run through my mind
‘destroy
demean
damage’
a never ending cycle of remorse.
My pain
my anguish
my blackened rage
knowledge I now have
these are my weapons
watch out
I am coming to take my life back.
©Sept. 23/19
Picture via Pinterest