Mistress Strength

Beseeching
eyes pleading
do not walk away
do not leave me
when you promised to stay.
Hurling harsh words
harmony gone
fled on the wind
with bitter calls.
Thunder roars
lightening crackles
you shall be destroyed.
Gutted
black evil arising
laying on the crossroads
tears falling
hand upraised
while you pull away
walk away
with nary a glance back.
Wrath
crimson bled
searing my senses
vision narrowing
until all I can see is you.
I warned you once
I begged you twice
thrice on bended knee
not to leave me
not to serve me
on a silver platter.
Yet you did.
Laughing
chastising
making me forget my worth
you laid me bare
a silver knife to the face.
Who is laughing now?
Certainly ain’t you
’cause I have you 
hung on the wall
picture perfect
silly regard
you can hurt no one
for I shall stand guard.
©July 27/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Brazen Whispers

Audacious
voice whispering in my ear
inside my mind
black
noxious
reminding me
over
time and time again
that no one loves me
no one really cares
that it is a farce.
Pulling the covers up
over my head
keeping the demons at bay
when really
I am paralyzed
with fear
anger
pain
rage
which keeps returning.
Every time that I think
that I truly believe I am free
that I have learned to control
to eliminate the damages done
I have not.
As I sit
tears rolling
slipping
from my eyes
desperate to assess
am I still sane?
Has my depression crept in
through the back door
to erupt
fully conscious
a boiling ebon beast
poised to sting
maul
attack
my sensibilities?
I do my best
always.
I let go of past pain.
Past hurts.
Past injustices.
I embrace my follies
my fallibility
my scars
trace a journey across my skin
etched in
reminding me how I am strong
how I can defeat
how goddamn it all
I can rise again.
I will not allow you to defeat me
wyvern
deep in the shadows
skulking
waiting
watching
for when my defenses are down
to strike.
I am stronger than you.
I am braver than you.
I will triumph.
I will never let you win.
©July 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Do Not/Am Not

Hey Diddle Diddle
The Cat had a Fiddle
And The Cow Jumped over the mooooooooon……….
 
Fairy tales
nursery rhymes
all taught to little girls
little boys
as the epitome of life.
All girls are damsels.
All guys knights in shining armour
with a few villains thrown in
one must keep the story interesting.
I do not want fairy tales.
I do not want a knight in shining armour.
I do not want to be a princess.
Frail
weak
delicate little flower
taught men are superior.
An untruth made real
fed to feed the egos of sensitives
who need to feel powerful
at the expense of others.
This curse
uttered not with care
has become a reality
falling down through decades
trailing through the centuries
one we struggle to counteract to this day.
I am not a Princess Fair.
I am a Dragon Warrior.
I will burn you with my fire.
I will taste your tears.
I will no longer bow.
Rise up
stand tall
for together we can do so much more.
©July 1/19
Picture via Pinterest

Not for You

You wrapped me in silk
pampered
loved
put me in the clouds
made me to feel as Queen
when in reality
I was only a cheap stopping place.
Fantasies
rose colored glasses
hunger so deep.
I needed to be made to feel
as though I was the first
the only choice.
One made with thought
insight
understanding
do not make promises you cannot keep.
I was not…..
First.
A thought.
You never saw inside of me
read the print of my skin
heard my truth.
I became one more in a long line of……
acquisitions
notches upon the bed posts
fool that I was
thinking
dreaming that I was your last one.
Rage
black
boiling
searing blood
sizzling in my veins
head thrown back
screaming in vain.
Love has turned…..
from sunshine blossoms
a wiping of my mind
of my memories.
So long
goodbye
never again will I cry.
Not for you.
©June 11/19
Picture via Pinterest

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #20

‘I’m tired…..
tired 
exhausted
by being the strong one.
My shoulders 
heavy with the sins of others
my heart
battered
broken
what the hell did I do?
For this to seem alright?’
Falling to my knees
head bent
sorrow in my heart
rage in my soul
fuck you
and that damn horse…..
the one you rode in on.
Stand there
look down on me
chortle
are you really that much better?
I raise my eyes
my hands
open my ears
while you shut down
crawl back into your hole.
Tell me now brother
how are you better?
Why is my worth less?
‘Weary I am.
Why should I 
Atlas be?
Holding up this world
all so others…..
not me
never me…..
benefit?
Shall I stand
smile affixed
sneer behind my eyes
I will never trust you again.’
Devil’s jig
Imp’s grin
Bratty laughter
who wins?
You?
Me?
No one?
‘Rise I shall.
Thrusting above 
the weight of lives
left to me 
guarding
never failing
unlike you
fallen in sin……
Not sorry am I 
yet 
you will be.’
Head bowed
remorse
tears
caress sensitive cheeks
hearing
feeling
bloody screams
cringing
blows across the breast.
I did give warning……..
Feb. 16/19
Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

Untitled Poem Word of the Day #17

I clung to those memories
hoarding
pawing 
breathing fire on
like a dragon 
in its den.
I never thought to go forward
I only stayed in the past
where memories
should be looked upon
fondly
kindly
sweetly
not with a singular obsession
like I had.
Driven
unable to release you
unable to release the dream
finally
I realized
I was only hurting myself.
How I found the strength
to finally let you go
release my heart
come back to me
I will never know.
I bow my head
in reverence
for the love we did share.
I must let go
for the sake of my sanity.
Good bye. 
 
Feb. 8/19

Always You (Love Poem)

Standing along the shore line
tiny wavelets licking my toes
mauve
purple
golden
the sunset.
I see you in the distance
walking towards
my heart skips a beat
as I know
I will be in your arms tonight.
promoting me
encouraging me
helping me
to be the best woman
the one you know exists
beneath the bluster
fear
and pain.
Loving
trusting
desiring
lost within your eyes.
You are my first thought
my last thought
every thought in between.
When good things happen
you are the first to hear.
When bad things happen
you are the first to know.
Love walked in
slamming that door open
banging it against the wall
at a time when
I was so sure I was broken.
So many times
so many chances
fate keeps getting in the way.
I run to you
water splashing
caring not as I get soaked to the skin.
You gather me
picking me up
as we do a silent dance.
Within your arms there is hope.
Within your heart there is love.
Within our future
a story to be built.
Always you.
Forever.
Eternal.
A flame burning bright.
Always it will be you.
December 5/18
Picture is one of my own taken Summer 2017