Untitled Word of the Day Poem #20

‘I’m tired…..
tired 
exhausted
by being the strong one.
My shoulders 
heavy with the sins of others
my heart
battered
broken
what the hell did I do?
For this to seem alright?’
Falling to my knees
head bent
sorrow in my heart
rage in my soul
fuck you
and that damn horse…..
the one you rode in on.
Stand there
look down on me
chortle
are you really that much better?
I raise my eyes
my hands
open my ears
while you shut down
crawl back into your hole.
Tell me now brother
how are you better?
Why is my worth less?
‘Weary I am.
Why should I 
Atlas be?
Holding up this world
all so others…..
not me
never me…..
benefit?
Shall I stand
smile affixed
sneer behind my eyes
I will never trust you again.’
Devil’s jig
Imp’s grin
Bratty laughter
who wins?
You?
Me?
No one?
‘Rise I shall.
Thrusting above 
the weight of lives
left to me 
guarding
never failing
unlike you
fallen in sin……
Not sorry am I 
yet 
you will be.’
Head bowed
remorse
tears
caress sensitive cheeks
hearing
feeling
bloody screams
cringing
blows across the breast.
I did give warning……..
Feb. 16/19
Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash
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Untitled Poem Word of the Day #17

I clung to those memories
hoarding
pawing 
breathing fire on
like a dragon 
in its den.
I never thought to go forward
I only stayed in the past
where memories
should be looked upon
fondly
kindly
sweetly
not with a singular obsession
like I had.
Driven
unable to release you
unable to release the dream
finally
I realized
I was only hurting myself.
How I found the strength
to finally let you go
release my heart
come back to me
I will never know.
I bow my head
in reverence
for the love we did share.
I must let go
for the sake of my sanity.
Good bye. 
 
Feb. 8/19

Always You (Love Poem)

Standing along the shore line
tiny wavelets licking my toes
mauve
purple
golden
the sunset.
I see you in the distance
walking towards
my heart skips a beat
as I know
I will be in your arms tonight.
promoting me
encouraging me
helping me
to be the best woman
the one you know exists
beneath the bluster
fear
and pain.
Loving
trusting
desiring
lost within your eyes.
You are my first thought
my last thought
every thought in between.
When good things happen
you are the first to hear.
When bad things happen
you are the first to know.
Love walked in
slamming that door open
banging it against the wall
at a time when
I was so sure I was broken.
So many times
so many chances
fate keeps getting in the way.
I run to you
water splashing
caring not as I get soaked to the skin.
You gather me
picking me up
as we do a silent dance.
Within your arms there is hope.
Within your heart there is love.
Within our future
a story to be built.
Always you.
Forever.
Eternal.
A flame burning bright.
Always it will be you.
December 5/18
Picture is one of my own taken Summer 2017

Buh Bye

I bleed.
Scarlet ribbons
maroon manacles
chaining me to your side.
Truth
lie
liar
a lineal line.
Addiction
lover’s lane
go ahead
fuck you
fuck her
don’t expect me to wait.
Fuck you finger rises
will never let you see
pain
desire
hope
within me.
You thought
(falsely I must say)
that the love I held
would lead your way.
Pummeled by words
broken in two
I need to protect myself
so good bye to you.
 
December 4/18
Photo is one of my own taken Summer 2017

Plain Jane/Badass Jane-Merging

Final poem in the Plain Jane/Badass Jane series. I hope that you have enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. Links to the previous poems in order are:
Pain.
Rolling over me
only thing that I can focus on.
I bring my hand up
covered in blood
realizing what she has done.
Finally.
I lay back
badass to the end.
So tired am I…
is she….
are we.
Voices screaming
calling for help
slowly….
I begin to fade.
Silver tears falling…..
I feel the arms of Jane wrap around
pulling her close
we are soon to be gone.
Panting
gasps of final air
body trembles
cold
so very cold.
I stare above
Jane and me
tainted little girl
broken at the knee.
My last breath eases out
my pain at last
laid to rest.
There are tales to tell
lessons to be learned
but no ears to hear.
Sadly
no one will ever know the truth
of Plain & Badass Jane.
Sept. 7/18
Credit for picture was given in a previous post which I am now unable to find. I will continue to look for it and when I do will post the information.

Badass Jane-Avenging Angel

This is a story poem. Listed are links to the others in this series:
I feel her struggle
jerking away from his hands
fuck man
can she not lay still?
This is something she has done
so many times before.
I begin to rise
asserting myself
willing her to sleep
for only I will be able to do this….
Jane would surely scream.
Surprised he was
to feel my arms
legs
tighten around
draw him closer.
Eagerly
he settled in
rhythmic
not realizing my disdain.
Hooked his keys
never noticed
so intent on the ravishing of flesh
bloody blade
left in his throat
I know how to make them pay.
Sept. 7/18

Plain Jane-Little Girl Lost

This is a story poem. The links for previous poems are:
His hands on my flesh
stroking
pinching
awakening fear
tears
streaming down my cheeks.
Badass Jane
she whispers in my ear
to remain calm
when the time is right
she will come out
and she will play.
I keep my eyes squeezed shut
repress the memories
overwhelming
suffocating
if she does not come out soon
I am going to be lost.
He fists his hand in my hair
jerking my head back
pressing himself to my barren body
groaning
unaware that death waits in the wings.
My voice catches
no longer can I scream
I am waiting for Badass Jane
to come and rescue me.
Sept. 7/18
Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash