Conscious Forever More

I stand
hands on hips
staring at my nakedness
seeing the droop of my breast
the extra inch on my hips
how my thighs are now touching
lips pursed
for I still see them as flaws
I still seek external confirmation
of my inner self.
I am beautiful.
Whether bundled in winter clothes
or clad in bikini on the beach.
No one can take that from me.
I am strong.
I have beaten addiction.
I have beaten my self doubt.
I have beaten
destroyed that voice
my own voice
telling me I am worthless.
I am sexy.
For so long
so very very long
I felt that my sexuality
my desires
they were wrong.
I kept them hidden
in a secret part of me.
No longer.
I labored for so long
deluded by past
devalued by self
awaiting external acceptance
that I do not need
for I am me
and me am I.
Tongue twisted
words never more betrayed
truth has been found
depth of my soul
cage freed my heart
it is my time
it is my turn
to rise & shine.
©Nov. 25/19
Picture is one of my own

Word of the Day Challenge #47-Untitled Poem

Passive
I sit
watching
waiting
wondering
who will I choose next?
With whom shall I…..
ply
play
plunder
taking unto me a life force
never freely given.
Image
fluid
every changing
chameleon…..
I am not the same woman every night…..
I am not the same woman as was in your bed last night…..
I am not the same woman who woke in your arms this morning…..
I am…..
Your fantasy.
Your nightmare.
Your fancy.
I fabricate
prevaricate
feign kindness
desire
love
lust……
all to draw you in
close the trap
make you mine
locked in a box.
I utter the words:
‘Til death do us part.
None have lasted longer than a week
shall we set the clock
tick tock
for your death my dear?’
©Aug. 1/19
Picture cia Pinterest