Nevermore

Feet blistered
bleeding
pushing forward
to where…..
for what…..
I do not know.
Embracing the pain
relishing
rending
emotions
I want them not
I want nothing more
than to come to an end.
Not in death
not in suicide
memories
tainted with your touch
damage you have done
I want to rake your eyes
tear out your heart
your lying tongue.
Imprinted
a duckling on its parent
you
me
snarls fill the air.
I will not let you return from the dead.
I will not let you tear from me
hard won peace
acceptance 
self-love.
Vicious volley
words on the tongue
tear like bullets
through malignant shade
shredding spirit.
Tears
heavy
voices screaming in my head.
Allow me to reiterate
in case your specter cannot understand
You will not win…..
I am stronger.
I am braver.
I am no longer a child.
Blade driven
skewered black heart
your death
glee in myself
my strength
haunt me nevermore.
©July 3/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #36 (Untitled Poem)

Living in this depraved world
daily barrages
wars
drugs
police acting judge and jury
politicians lining their pockets.
Children are starving  
just down the golden street.
Women live in fear
travel in groups
doors triple
no
quadruple locked
gun slept with
under the pillow.
How safety is felt.
Beware the false prophet
fired lies spun
dissenting loyal men
made slave to their own desires.
This is intolerance.
This is ignorance.
Not the same color?
Speak a different language?
Have different customs?
Live life differently?
Love
belief in goodness
values
morals
all fast disappearing
beneath a consumer race.
Facing fear daily.
For every sin contemplated
for every corrupt desire played out
for every child burdened
for every woman abused
for every man beaten
evil is winning
painting a picture of utopia
where all are the same.
Repentance
no longer viable…..
no longer is there a way
to check this slow descent into hell.
Nourish the demons
all shall pay
watch the world slip away.
©June 19/19
Picture found on Pinterest

Savage Grace

With each sadistic dart
 a chiseling of my heart
tears turned to dark ash
staining my soul
dark desires begin to roam.
Feed the need..
Feed the hunger.
Feed the ache.
Torture becomes love
hate becomes adoration
voices whiplash
stinging rage
all shall be made to pay.
Thought I was a doll.
Thought I was a toy.
Thought I could be used
I could be abused.
Thought I would never retaliate
would never fight back.
How wrong you were
as I stand above thee
blade stinging
blood
slow streams of death
coloring your flesh crimson gold.
I am not a timid voice
lost to your primal urges
this is where I shine
when home comes to roost
the death of your carnal sins
©June 1519
Picture via Pinterest

Indomitable

***Today’s poem arose because I misread the Word of the Day Challenge. I read the word as contact when in fact it was contest. From the smallest mistake…..Also this poem deals with sensitive issues.
Resigned
staring into the mirror
no longer noticing
greasy hair
dead eyes
pallor
a wraith
alive in a nightmare.
Too many to count
pain
bone deep
her body never seems to stop
aching
cringing
bleeding.
Oh god
how much longer
must I go on?
Tears leaking
falling
salt to the wounds
upon her face.
All know
her stories are bullshit.
Stony anger
when disregarded
their best words
voiced concerns
she turns away
quivering voice
as one excuse
right after the other
fall from her lying lips.
Oh god
at what time
can I let go?
How became the end?
Violence begets violence
all know this.
Something roared to the forefront
a primal desire to survive
when first his fist made contact.
Knife in hand
she carved into his flesh
entering pained data
so much data
stories he beat into her flesh
given back to him.
Oh god
from where 
did this strength come?
Bruise upon bruise
break upon break
nurses cried with broken fears
doctors raged with impotence.
Stoic she was.
Beginning anew
my life is mine again
there is hope
there is healing
never again will I be……..
©June 1/19
Photo via Pinterest

Breaking Free

Within a mimosa of gray fog you travel,
the ground before
dashed with broken glass
and razor blades
waiting to slash.
Unable to find forth the glory
the sanity that you beg for
as you are swallowed once more
down this rabbit’s hole of fate
where destined you be
to always retreat.
You wish to find solace
you wish to find comfort
you wish to shake yourself free
of the death and doom
your voice chants.
The voice that soothes and says
how much you fail
how much you don’t matter
until you grab your head
and scream.
Pouring forth the black bile
of fear and anguish,
pain and anger,
that has bloated your mind.
Break free from the chains that are binding
rend from your chest their links
and with great defiance
shriek to the skies
freedom and salvation.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 19/17