Where’s My Peeps?

This morning a decision has been reached.
I must for the sake of my sanity stop reading the news.
Not forever but for the next little bit.
Now and until I go back to work from holidays on May 30th.
There are two main things that set me off this morning.
  1. There is a ‘race’ going on for the leadership of the Conservative party here in Canada. I have not been paying much attention given the fact that I am not a Conservative and their policies do not come anywhere near where I am in beliefs and needs.
  2. Elon Musk and his drive for freedom of speech. It appears that he would have allowed the live stream of the mass shooting in Buffalo to continue.
Maybe I misread the article but I am not about to go back to see if I am wrong.
Even if I am does it matter?
There are words spoken by those who have a broader platform and range than I do who utter absolute mistruths and nonsense daily.
Sometimes hourly.
It has become the ‘in’ thing to take a reality and tell people that it does not exist.
That what was seen was totally wrong.
Misportrayed by the media.
In other words, gaslighting.
One of the asses who is running for leadership in Canada indicated that the protest in Ottawa that disrupted the lives and businesses of thousands was peaceful.
That had Prime Minister just acquiesced to their demands it would have all been over and done with.
So in other words pander to the few who are frothing at the bit to release their ignorance and evil upon the world at large while ignoring the majority whose voices are quieter because they are actually aware of the consequences to their actions and how it affects others not just themselves but those around them as well.
The mass shooting this weekend in Buffalo NY in a predominately Black neighborhood was racially motivated.
The White Replacement Theory here at work.
I myself have never heard of anything so stupid and I mean seriously but those who have a need to be told what to think and do seem to be falling for it in droves.
White replacement theory is that the white population is being driven down by low birth rates and immigration tactics.
And the Jews have been behind the creation of this insidious plan.
OMG not to be ignorant but the vast majority of Jews that you see are WHITE!
Does anyone else see the issue here or is it just me?
The live stream of this shooting was on Twitch an Amazon gaming platform.
They removed it within minutes of it starting.
Where were the seconds?
Where were the content police at that moment?
Do not tell me that there are no content police because over at Facebook I got a warning about inciting violence by indicating in a response on a friend’s post that some people deserved a swift kick in the ass.
That is right I incited violence.
But Facebook allowed a live stream of mass shootings in the US before taking it down after over 5-10 minutes of it being streamed.
So it is ok to allow actual violence to be shown but god forbid you make a statement about kicking someone and get shutdown in a moment.
Believe me it was almost instantaneous with me.
I cried this morning over all of this.
My heart hurts for mothers and fathers who have lost their children.
For children who have lost their parents.
For women who are forced underground because some white man has decided that he knows what is best for her body.
For Trans individuals as they go through their journey supported only by their parents and peers.
Their rights being systematically striped from them because some white man is terrified of change and what that entails.
For all the marginalized communities who are still being regulated by white men who believe they know what is best.
And it is worth mentioning that the vast majority of those making these decisions and policies are white men.
None of whom have given birth.
None of whom have to worry about rape.
None of whom have to worry that they maybe beaten or murdered because they are living their truth.
None of whom have to worry about…..
Where does it end?
When all rights and liberties are striped away?
When we as women are shackled and chained?
When Blacks, Hispanics, anyone who is different has been reduced to less than?
Where are the voices raised in protest with mine?
It is time that we become louder than those who scream and froth because of their rabidity and fear.
It is time for our voices to be heard.
©May 17/22

Wallowing In It

Not entirely sure I understand what is going on with me. I am fairly confident that it has to do with my hormones but do not want to use that as an excuse for these moods and tears.

The hot flashes during the day are catchable. I feel the prickly heat start and I can get my sweater off. Suck back water. During the night I am not aware until after the fact.

I thought my night sweats were abating until last night. Or this morning. Right before the clocks moved forward. 1:45 a.m. I waken to an intense feeling of being soggy. Sheets and comforter are grossly wet. I stumbled out of bed to the couch.

Woke up and looked at phone. 3:37 a.m. not restful not as long as it appears when written down. 15 minutes after I laid down the time went to 3 a.m. I crawled into the other side of my bed and dozed until just after 6.

I am grouchy. I am weepy. I want to sit and feel sorry for myself. Wallow in it per se. But as I was sitting here feeling all of this I flashed to something that happened at work yesterday.

One of our regulars came to me for assistance with some gift cards she had purchased as gifts. They were having a hard time using them at the store who told them they could do nothing and to come back to us. That as third party gift cards there are always issues.

She found the one person in the whole store versed on gift cards because it is one of my things. I keep it stocked. I keep on top of scams. I throw away cards that I find in the wrong spot. I throw away packs if I believe they are compromised. I have a system and we have so little fraud because we are on top of it all.

After we talked and I explained everything, I went over her receipt and ensured that the cards she had and the ones scanned were in fact one and the same. All matched.

A little later I was helping a customer when I thought I heard ‘Excuse me Miss’ but was on a mission and kept going. Imagine my surprise when my earlier customer grabbed me to thank me.

She had gone back to the store armed with the knowledge I had given her. One gift card finally worked and the store replaced the others for her. I smiled and told her I was so happy it had worked out.

No, she said, thank you for taking the time to talk to me and explain everything.

So as I sit here wallowing in my feelings of insecurities and sadness there are good things. I am just caught behind a small grey cloud which will soon move onto bluer pastures.

©March 13/22

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