I have been noticing of late that when people are discussing that they have had Covid that they look around carefully to make sure that no one is around, no one is within hearing distance and they lean in real close and in a hushed voice whisper ‘I had The Covid’. It takes a bit to keep my face straight.
It is like when they use to say ‘He has The Clap’ or ‘He has The Drip’. Well actually no one said it out loud I have to assume given what I know about society and the times however in books it was something that was discussed in certain genres and time period books. I am not so sure what is up with the capitalization but there you have it.
The other thing as I tested for the 4th time yesterday morning, I had a small giggle. Taking a Covid test is like taking a pregnancy test only this time everyone is really hoping that the results are negative.
Testing for Covid has me setting up a little plastic tube into which I put the liquid. What is the liquid? I don’t know and given I do not consume it I don’t need to. Have to put the little stopper in the stand next to the little tube so that Loki who has taken a great interest in what I am doing, does not try to bat it onto the floor to play with.
I get the test cartridge ready and then comes the fun part. Shoving the stick up my nose. Not just one side but both sides. And this is a thin cotton angled somewhat. Put it in until I feel mild resistance and swish it around while pushing against the nostril. If it sounds unpleasant that is because it is.
Next is sticking the cotton in the solution for 2 minutes. So I wait. When the timer goes off I have to take the cotton out and press it against the sides of the tube to extract as much liquid as possible. Once done I put in the fancy little stopper and squirt it into the small well on the test. Immediately it begins to turn purple. And I watch.
Set the timer for 15 minutes and wait more.
Each and every time it clearly and brightly indicated that I was not infected. I could resume normal life.
Today I had someone take me to task for wearing my mask. When I stated I had a cold and did not want to be sharing my germs with all of Steinbach he goes ‘oh I’m shaking’ while waving his hands in the air. I snapped that it was my choice and turned my back on him. He began to say ‘Oh it is like that about choice’ when his wife told him to be quiet.
Someone just fell off the favorite wagon. I can tolerate a lot but mocking me for a personal decision is not cool.
Cashier Mafia is going into action.
I sat across from him…..the mightiest man on the earth.
Once more up for election as Ruler of All The Conquered Earth.
Dumbest man I had had the privilege to interview.
Even now I could not fully fathom the words that I heard come from his mouth.
‘So Mr. Supreme Ruler*** please let me see if I have this correct? Your platform for becoming the Ruler of All the Conquered Earth is based on the fact that you have kept aliens from taking over our planet. Sending us all their ugly and defeated and dumbest but you put a stop to that. You quarantined them all in steel cages. In the middle of the desert? That human kind but not all human kind is more superior to the aliens? And in the tiers of human kind there are those like yourself white males of slight intelligence at the pinnacle while all others fall below?’ sarcasm dripped from my lips as the preening dictator smiled nodding his large bulbous shaped head.
****His demand to be called such. I would prefer the Painful Puce Pompadour but I need to pay my bills.***
‘That is right Krita that is right. I have done more to keep all those unwanted aliens from earth. Making them pay more taxes. Taking their homes. Moving them into the lower income areas of cities. Allow the unnecessary to kill themselves. So easy to get that done.’
My screen went blank as some bright bulb in Painful Puce Pompadour’s entourage realized the road I was beginning to lead him down. I unhooked my mic from my collar and stood.
‘Krita come have a drink with me.’
Oily voiced. Hair the deep purple brown of a new bruise brushed into what I would have described as a ’60’s beehive constructed from a few sparse hairs woven into an almost undetectable toupee. Thick fingered. Thick browed. Thick in the head.
Picture via Pinterest