Pained Expression

Startling
glaring
snow diamonds
glitter
under milky moon
air so cold
breath hangs
frozen
crystal for a moment
before fading away.
Standing
watching
shadows creep
wailing winds
skeletal branches reach skyward
mournful melody
wolf’s howl
eerie counterpoint.
Stepping
one foot
other to follow
stray path
forked roads
I go
looking
not for riches
not for love
nor desire
I look for self
one lost
unto childhood
pain
memories
addiction
on goes the wretched list.
I am not proud
part of me though they are.
Today I try to compose
fragmented soul
one whole
girl
woman
Queen
I will become
never again to kneel.
©July 13/20
Picture via Pinterest

Question of Morality

***Just a note this is not indicative of my feelings right how. It is a throw back to how I have felt when depressed. I am in a wonderfully great space.***
Gouges
furrows dug
down cheeks
blood drips
stains wood upon which I stand
heart no longer feels
no longer beats
with goodness
with haste.
Drop to my knees
screaming
clutching
head
drown the demons
the torture
ripping through my mind
my memory…..
killing me.
Bitter regrets
black rope of depression
reaching
tied to ankle
dragging me to the edge…..
Howls
ferocious
baying at the moon
tension
fear wrought
tears
on my knees begging
for death
for a release
this pain you brought…..
Awaken
eyes blink in terror
lay at my feet
throat shredded
blood seeps
staining my feet…..
red…..
When did you realize it was futile?
When did you realize they would always come?
When…..
©June 28/20
Picture via Pinterest