Anxiety

How do I explain?
How do I make you understand
what it means
when anxiety’s talons grip my soul
my heart
turning my mind against me.
Everything I know to be true
suddenly become lies
gnawing at me
eroding my self-confidence
for anxiety has a way
a way of making
taking
breaking
so I have no control.
All I need is the small stroking
of my mind.
There is a voice.
Insidious.
You will never understand
for it is my voice
repeating
whispering
snide remarks
that no one cares for me.
I need to be comforted
held
confirmed
to assuage the blackness within.
Anxiety.
Unless you have felt it
unless it has wrapped cold arms
wicked legs
winded its black way
through your body mass
until no longer do you know
which voice is true.
Anxiety.
Colors my world black
bony fingers snatching my soul
as I try so hard
not to let anyone see.
Sept. 30/18
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Dark Voice

Do you wonder
what it is like?
Would you care to know?
What it is like:
A sullen voice
whispers in your ear
telling you
exactly why
they do not like you.
No matter
how many times
you recite
affirmations
knowing exactly
what you bring to the table.
It hisses diatribe
digs beneath
rending mended scars.
Yet nothing can be worse
than admitting
that the voice you hear
is the one with which you speak.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 26/18