Rawr!

I was that girl
faded
quiet
always on the outskirts
looking in
lost
alone
afraid.
I was that teenager
wild
frantic
lost
a whirl storm
emotions
deadly
unforgiving
I lost myself to hell.
Young woman.
Mother.
During it all
part of me
lodged still
in bars of my own creating
mired in the cesspool of past abuses
unseen
unwanted
until addiction’s hold passes.
Today
victory reigns
head held high
as I behold
who I have become
who I want to be
who I need to be…..
Caring
Empathetic
Loving
Wanting
Dreaming
Desiring
Life.
I am what society now calls middle age.
I refuse to accept their constraints.
I am a Goddess.
I am a Lioness.
I am a Queen.
Never again will I forget.
©April 12/21
Picture via Pinterest

Third Benefit

Day 13 of not drinking.
I have discovered the third benefit to being sober.
Creativity.
It is not that I don’t write as I do.
Ideas do not flow though so easily.
Brain clears.
Whoomp!
Fire all neurons into the imagination zone and let her go.
I have ideas all the time.
My poems are coming more clearly within moments of seeing the Word of the Day Challenge. (Today’s is a hard one needing to mull)
Each day forward is a win.
Each time I defeat that voice (the one that tried to tell me wine was not really alcohol)-squashed in its tracks is a win.
Each day I look in the mirror I see clearer eyes and skin.
Not looking haggard.
My hair is feeling less crispy.
And all the soda bloat is disappearing.
Total win.
Cataloguing the wins is easy to do.
Cataloguing the ills even easier to do.
I am stronger than this addiction.
I will always be stronger than this addiction.
I will never let this addiction win again.
©July 31/20
Picture is my own