Within

Within
deep rooted anguish
for you no longer care.
Words are spoken
gestures are made
once actions were louder
but silence is even louder
letting me know
exactly where I stand.
You made me so happy.
You made my heart sing.
You made me cry a million times
telling me it was for my own good….
Your letting go
your saying good bye
for how else can I go forward
if I am still clinging to broken dreams?
Darkness
where light once did reside
there is no welcoming reprieve
pain ebbs and flows
never really gone
lesser for awhile.
I can write so many love poems
I can write so many lyrical words
I can write……
I can destroy…..
I can maim you on paper…..
I can kill you with my pen…..
What I can not do
is kill
the feelings within.
©Jan 22/20
Picture via Pinterest

Balance the Scales

Fingers grip blanket tight
squeezing eyes shut.
Whispered prayer
never answered:
maybe tonight
the monsters won’t come
please keep me safe
someone.
Dead gaze
never a smile
how could no one notice
how could they not see
the wraith walking before them?
A child
bruised
skittish
afraid of all
falling between the cracks.
Too many fingers
too many hands
too many mouths
rape a child’s soul
battered
wanting to die
indomitable will
refusing to give up
refusing to allow suicide.
Growing
becoming a woman
tables turning
hunting those who hunted
child turned avenger
all will pay.
©Jan. 8/20
Picture via Pinterest

Your Fool

I feel the fool
as I sit here
tears seeping from my eyes
at the pain I feel
even though we are so far apart.
A part of my day
a love that I have
I told myself I was the one.
I thought
I do not know what I thought
I should have known
romance does not play out
I am the one
left sitting on the curb
wondering what went wrong.
I saw you accidentally
on a night you told me you were busy
I had gone out with some friends.
They tried to shield me
as they have before
but I saw you
I saw her in your arms
held tight
as you did with me last night.
Am I but a conquest?
Someone who you needed to control
to make your own
until satisfied
you rode on to the next one.
I told you
when you said I love you
I wanted none of that
I am too old
to play these teenage games.
I wish you farewell
for my heart is breaking in two
and if you stay near me
I will always be your fool.

©Sept. 30/19
Picture is one of my own taken Matlock Beach
2017

Sweet Dreams

Candle light
flattery
rose petals on the bed
a new seduction
hunger in your eyes.
Raw power
pheromones rich in the air
wicked smile
dances across my lips.
Come together
souls gathered
fingers touch
lips
soft against skin
tongue
draws slow designs
trembling with longing
you push me back.
Sensations
building of heat
bodies sealed together.
Passion searing
mouths come together
moaning.
Explosive
shuddering
your name roared
spent
shivering
with tonight’s desire
two once more.

©Sept. 29/19
Picture via Pinterest

Risen Anew

Under autumn’s foliage
crimson reds
charcoal oranges
browns crushed to gold.
Crisp air
frost covered grass
shattered glass
crinkles beneath my feet.
Breath comes out
vapour in the air
simple chill
the type that stings
when one first stirs.
Apple pink cheeks
scented lips on mine
taste the last golden rays of summer
peaks of time
send me up
send me down
now though I know the difference.
Grim tidings
autumn use to bring
sullen days
grey clouds
simmering overhead.
I felt broken down
battered
lifting my head
a chore that seemed insurmountable.
Time clicked by
snail’s pace
crushed beneath a burden of blackness
crawl I did
through day and night
knees blooded
hands scraped
I no longer cared.
Here I lay
so my epithet began
soul shattered
life lost
wait no
I do not want to go.
Surge of fire.
Rage.
No more shall I be this puppet
danced upon the strings of the past
time has come
let go.
Rising
strength from head to toe
phoenixed ash
glory a robe I wear
for I am woman
for I am finally myself
listen to my voice roar.
©Sept. 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Sovereign Executioner

Abused
misused
power corrupts even the innocent. 
Have you seen?
Have you heard?
Bells tolling in the darkness
calling forth a new time.
Fire born of excess
cleansing the earth
scouring it
ridding it of rats
of snakes
all the bad kind.
Stand upon the hill so high
look down upon the masses
stalwart
knowing what needs to be done
yet
that choice is hard to make
bending knee
standing for truth
men have tried to incinerate you
for less.
Roped
hung
swinging in the wind
gasp for air
claw at the noose
figuratively placed there
to keep you bound.
Witch
slattern
harlot 
all do scream
we will take you to the ground
you will be ours to burn.
I finally concur
you were right to be worried
visions do come true
which is why I remain
hidden in the shadows
taking them out
one by one
for my Queen.
©Sept. 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Trueheart

Beholden
to public
to reality
to images
past
present
future
is something remiss?
I am not who I seem.
I am not who I play.
I am a woman.
I am a toy.
I am……
submissive.
Cradle my head
hold my soul
care for me
while I long for
it all.
Misconception
weak I am not
giving up my faith
my trust
my everything
to give you control
to allow you in
to let you lead…..
something most do not understand.
I desire
need
feed
on structure
rules
guidance
for I would care not for self
if you did not insist.
I am worthless
unless I am in your eyes.
I am crying
unless I am in your arms.
I am dying
alone
scared
desperate.
Please
oh please
keep me safe
hold the monsters at bay
while I sleep.
©July 4/19
Picture via Pinterest