Fifteen Minutes

15 minute increments.
That is how I live
8 hours a day
five days a week
15 minute increments.
I watch the clock carefully
I must excuse myself
I need to go
I need to wash my hands
to keep you
and myself safe.
15 minute increments
this is not a game
this is my new reality
as I serve the public
who need to eat
who need their care
who need reassurance
who need a friendly ear.
15 minute increments.
I wonder
up to 14 days
to incubate
please wait I must sanitize
I am sorry I have to make you stand
this is for your safety and mine.
15 minute increments.
This is my new reality.
This is my new truth.
This is a new life for everyone.
We are all in this together.
There is no need
to push
punch
scream
like animals in a zoo
suddenly released
set upon one another.
Bloody massacre.
15 minute increments.
I hope you have a great day.
I need a moment please.
Stand over the sink
how many 15 minutes have passed?
Single tear drops.
Chin quivers.
Deep breath.
Stand up straight.
Smile on my face.
In my ear
your voice
reassuring
‘baby you got this
it is only 15 minutes.’
©March 31/20
Picture is my own

Word of the day Challenge #93-Untitled Poem

Shattered
blood red tears
rending at clothes
at hair
at skin
gouging
nails slicing
anything to stop the pain.
I never lied about what I wanted.
I never lied about what I expected.
I never lied about what I was feeling.
I never lied at all.
What you see
is what you get
no more
no less.
This woman
standing
naked before you
baring soul
bitter past
fragile
vulnerable
patchwork quilt
scars
taped together with experience.
I knew
heart bleeding
I knew how dangerous
voices
screaming
kicked into silence
this would be.
I built an illusion.
I built a fantasy.
I built……
but one memory
how you held me
when I bared my truth
my past
like no other man has done.
©March 16/20
Picture found on Pinterest

Best Served

Gently cup my cheek
thumb erases the tears
sad smile
I know
you know
it was never real.
Pain
raging
tearing me apart
my mistake
falling hard
should have listened
when warned.
Fantasies woven
tenderness given
hard not to feel
time to tamp it down
drown it down
lock it away
’cause I swear
I ain’t giving it away.
I am done with feeling shit.
I am done with feeling period.
They say
(I love the infamous they)
revenge is a dish best served cold
revenge is a life well lived
revenge is a lot of things…..
what I cling to as true
the day will come
when you realize……
I was the best you would ever have.
©March 15/20
Picture is my own. Of me.

Word of the Day Challenge #92-Untitled Poem

My throne
blooded mare
hooded glare
within sunken sockets
death mask
gleaming teeth
bared in rictus grin
feral growl rumbles
you dare mock me?
Liver lipped lover
aromorous words of rhyme
promised time
finger kissed tips
your hands around
stealing breath away
while my body reacts.
Lost in thought
wrought in pain
devil begone
flamed eyes
cast aside.
I lick my lips…..
Beloved of my heart
hear my plea
upon your knees
this quest shall be:
Find for me a God.
Find for me an Emperor.
Find for me a King.
Find for me a Man.
A Man
who can tame 
this lioness’ roar.
©March 14/20
Picture via Pinterest

Invisible Movement

Were I to sit roadside
hands held out
sign asking for alms
would you see me?
Were I to stand at the bus stop
teeth chattering
sodden by rain
needing a fix
would you really see me?
Were I to sit next to you
meeting upon meeting
late night after late night
pressed into duty
pressed against the desk
would you ever see me again?
I am but one of the invisible
fallen amongst the cracks
head down
eye frown
look not upon the great
who can do no wrong
who can rape
who can plunder
who can murder without fear
alas
the day will come…..
judge not lest you be judge
bastardization for bastards
cower
betray
fall…..
pain reaped for pain
desolation for desolation
rejection
anguish
fear
all yours times tenfold.

©March 13/20
Picture via Pinterest

Charred Existence

Pitter patter
I can hear
behind me
subtle shift
one pebble to another
 sharp response
building
 tangible darkness
bleeds from my fingertips.
Running
looking to hide away
to suffer not this pain
 to exhale
to harden this tell tale heart
 cease beating 
for faithless lovers deemed.
Breathe in
breathe out
sweet sorrow rising
 spiraling smoke
curtained twilight
  tears rain.
Reaching out
hands in plaintive plea
tormented by dreams
 carved beneath
ebony charred
 woeful mask.
No lover
no friend
shadowed in corners
 mocking me
hands taken…..withheld
 pushed aside…..
  forever…..
   forgotten.
©March 12/20
Picture via Pinterest

Futile Fiction

Building
slowly
passion
rage
two sides
same coin
times
where they are combined
raw feelings
making me undone.
Alone
reflective
heartache felt
minimized
tamped down
bitten fury
eyes ablaze
revenge plans laid
knowing
fantasies in the air
I would
could not
do any of those thoughts.
Helpful not at all
dark sins plot
never come to wrought
potent acrimony
face contorted
pain ripped through
for once more
I left my heart free.
©March 10/20
Picture via PInterest