Ebbing Love

I watch
wondering
wandering
waiting
for slowly
my worth
my truth
my veracity
becoming known
opening myself
to opportunities
while you
well
you may not like what transpires.
Standing tall
no more hiding
no more pretending
I am beauty
I am love
I am creative
I am……
all of the above.
Becoming tired are you?
Annoyed
with my shouting from rooftops
glorying
in self worth
in self awareness
in self love
making me
a woman to beware of.
Always headstrong
I fight
for the things that I want
the future I see
tangible
to the touch
to what I desire.
I am done
waiting
while you waffle
right
wrong
yes
or no?
When you decide
darling do not be surprised
if I am no longer there.
©Feb. 24/20
Picture is my own

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #20

‘I’m tired…..
tired 
exhausted
by being the strong one.
My shoulders 
heavy with the sins of others
my heart
battered
broken
what the hell did I do?
For this to seem alright?’
Falling to my knees
head bent
sorrow in my heart
rage in my soul
fuck you
and that damn horse…..
the one you rode in on.
Stand there
look down on me
chortle
are you really that much better?
I raise my eyes
my hands
open my ears
while you shut down
crawl back into your hole.
Tell me now brother
how are you better?
Why is my worth less?
‘Weary I am.
Why should I 
Atlas be?
Holding up this world
all so others…..
not me
never me…..
benefit?
Shall I stand
smile affixed
sneer behind my eyes
I will never trust you again.’
Devil’s jig
Imp’s grin
Bratty laughter
who wins?
You?
Me?
No one?
‘Rise I shall.
Thrusting above 
the weight of lives
left to me 
guarding
never failing
unlike you
fallen in sin……
Not sorry am I 
yet 
you will be.’
Head bowed
remorse
tears
caress sensitive cheeks
hearing
feeling
bloody screams
cringing
blows across the breast.
I did give warning……..
Feb. 16/19
Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

Never Free

There are these thoughts

thoughts that float around

I have no control over them

I have no ability to chase them away

I am held captive

in my own head.

These voices are vicious

once talons have hooked my soul

they come for me

telling me

I have no worth

I have no power

I have no chance

I have nothing.

Striving to return to sanity

to blanket

to silence

the voices in my head

resigned acceptance

they will only retreat

returning always

chiseling away at fragile ego

I shall never be free.