Sweet Serenity

Floating through my mind

half forgotten melody

childhood memory

I close my eyes

I breath in deep

listening to that song.

When first did I hear it?

this lull-a-bye?

Soothing my fears

chasing away my anxiety

wrapping me in the warmth of love.

I sit

knees drawn 

tears tracking my cheeks

working so hard

to not be

silly

ugly

desperate

I really do miss you.

Late at night

I awaken

lacking the warmth of your body

next to mine.

I startle from nightmares.

I wake

hour after hour

missing your arms

missing your touch

pillow sodden with tears.

I long for you

yearn

desire your truth.

Hero

villain

not sure which role to play.

I love you

what more should I say?

Could I say?

I wanted….

fairy tale love

swept off my feet

sparks between our eyes.

Sweet serenity

lull-a-bye

soothing my soul

my heartache

bringing me to balance once more.

December 19/18

Not Unwanted

Never something I was looking for

I had turned myself away

off

unavailable

prefering to make of life

what it was.

Began so slowly

a message here and there

until it became a daily thing

creeping up on us both.

When you don’t look

when you don’t grasp

when you are surprised

by the sudden longing of feeling

remember that I too am as flustered as you.

These feelings

emotions

desires

unexpected

yet not unwanted.

Aug. 30/18

Photo by Dan Musat on Unsplash