Pained Expression

Startling
glaring
snow diamonds
glitter
under milky moon
air so cold
breath hangs
frozen
crystal for a moment
before fading away.
Standing
watching
shadows creep
wailing winds
skeletal branches reach skyward
mournful melody
wolf’s howl
eerie counterpoint.
Stepping
one foot
other to follow
stray path
forked roads
I go
looking
not for riches
not for love
nor desire
I look for self
one lost
unto childhood
pain
memories
addiction
on goes the wretched list.
I am not proud
part of me though they are.
Today I try to compose
fragmented soul
one whole
girl
woman
Queen
I will become
never again to kneel.
©July 13/20
Picture via Pinterest

Life Lessons & So Much Laughter

I swear I am losing my mind. Or my brain is going on vacation. Some of the things that have come out of my mouth this week…….
  1. Do you need to purchase a bag? Would you like paper for $10? (price is actually .10 C)
  2. Scanned the code for paper bags……stood staring at the phone before realizing that it was the phone and not the till……phone and till are in no way connected. At all.
  3. Freaked a customer out……asked which one smelled……should have added good the first time. Both looked horrified until I reassured them that I was smelling something good. Really as if I would shout that out if you stink!!!!
In a Covid post I talked about one of my customers who I was worried about. Gentleman who had lost his wife. Came into the store for the first time days before Covid hit. Hugged him. Etc. Today I hear a voice and I look at check out 1 and who is there……my customer.
I was almost bawling. I was in tears I was so happy to see him. I have been so worried and I told him that to. Said I did not know if he had kids shopping for him so there was no way for me to find out he was ok. He wanted to hug me but Covid……so instead we stood 6′ apart and spread our arms as if giving hugs. I do not know this man’s name. I do not know anything about him. Other than his wife passed….he moved from the family home…..was learning to shop on his own…..but has the biggest smile always and kindest words. That he is safe and I finally got to see him. Absolutely best part of my day today.
I am struggling this week with regards to writing. Yet I need to write so instead of poetry I am blasting you with small snippets of my life.
I am learning so much recently. I am growing and slightly surprised that I can do so. A prime example is I am an organizational freak. Things look good a certain way so everything has to be that way. When putting bags for life out one does not do so willy nilly…….you separate and hand according to same bag pic etc. I know some call it OCD but that is not what it is at all…..I like organization. I like uniformity. IDK I have a way of doing things. Now the other day Tember asked if he could put away the dried goods. So I said sure. He wants to help. Well everything we use is now on the bottom shelf. The 2nd shelf is nearly empty and the top shelf…..things we do not use. I stood and looked at it.
‘But Buddy I need to see things?’
‘What things mom?’
‘Like the seasoning/gravy……you know what buddy you did a great job. Thank you.’
My cupboard is still Tember stylized.
I also asked him to make me a peanut butter squishy.   One slice of bread…..spread peanut butter over the whole piece…..fold in half and squish! The peanut butter was not totally spread out and I said something and than looked at him and said ‘thank you so much Buddy. I appreciate you making this for me.’ (Next squishy he made peanut butter covered corner to corner lol)
This whole week has been growth and laughter. I realize and accept that sometimes brain and mouth do not always co-ordinate. I am learning to accept that not everything has to be done my way. As hard as that is. But I am getting there and that is all that matters.
Have a great weekend everyone.
🙂
©July 10/20
Picture is my own