Untitled Word of the Day Poem #21

I was ready…..
ready to say
holy fuck
not only did you make my day
you made my year
my everything….
Asshole.
Forbidden
I have been
from allowing  you
back into my life
my segments…..
I was told no.
Not only my circle
rally around
there is another
showing me my worth
my destiny.
This could have been your quest.
But…..
well…..
 I was not good enough.
Is it really greener?
That grass
on the other side of the fence?
Is it really a brighter emerald??
Tell me true.
As you stand
barrier
simple fence
enough to cage a sheep
caught you in a trap
I thought you were smarter than that.
Was it worth it?
I am not like the others…..
Fuck no
talk …..
admit
talk ….
to me
seriously?
I can no longer bend.
Bow
I am done.
I loved you.
I love you,
I wanted to help.
I want to help.
I wanted to lessen your burden.
But…..
well……
Hi…..
Over here…..
good bye.
I….
I love you….
I speak words of disgrace
throw the synonyms
while your vowels penetrate
my skin.
Crimson tears
heart scarred
will I ever trust again?
 
Feb. 17/19
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Untitled Poem Word of the Day #17

I clung to those memories
hoarding
pawing 
breathing fire on
like a dragon 
in its den.
I never thought to go forward
I only stayed in the past
where memories
should be looked upon
fondly
kindly
sweetly
not with a singular obsession
like I had.
Driven
unable to release you
unable to release the dream
finally
I realized
I was only hurting myself.
How I found the strength
to finally let you go
release my heart
come back to me
I will never know.
I bow my head
in reverence
for the love we did share.
I must let go
for the sake of my sanity.
Good bye. 
 
Feb. 8/19

Untitled Poem Word of the Day #16

She was such a pretty little thing.
Daddy’s girl.
Pigtails.
Dimples.
Sparkling blue eyes.
No knowledge of degradation
humiliation
pain
that was yet to come.
Prepped.
Primped.
Primed.
Salacious thoughts
for one so young.
Daddy had a problem.
Drunk.
Drugs.
Gambling.
He was shitty at all three.
Sold to pay the debt
her hunger only grew.
Wicked child.
Devil’s child.
Vicious child.
She was a bright child
so smart
she hid the abuse
beneath rosy smiles..
Lessons were learned
games were played
daddy’s girl became a vixen.
Knives were made to slash
slice
rend flesh free.
Guns with bullets
holes in the body
none are safe from her.
Sitting
crimson pool spreading
her delight in the debris.
It took nearly a month
to reassemble the pieces
of the men she slaughtered.
Found buried in a shallow grave
clues were slim
men 
they were not missed.
She sat watching
waiting
but no one came near
into the midnight she disappeared. 
 
Feb. 1/19

Untitled Relationship Poem #5

***This poem was written last year during Nov/Dec period. Reworked today***
I allowed it.
I allowed you
to maim me
to bite me
to shred my heart.
There was no breaking in two
it disintegrated.
pain unlike any…..
Any…..
Do you see that?
Any…..
I had felt before.
I stood beneath full moon
lashes glittering with tears
unable to comprehend
bewildered I am
for you seem to be blaming me?
It took a bit
but colors bleed true
slashes of fabric
please release me.
All told me
your actions
are louder than words.
Never thought it true.
You have proved me wrong.
I regret
having thought you were different
that you were…..
maybe Prince Charming…..
my own love story…..
when all you are is a farce.
I do not regret
having allowed you into my life
though you made me bleed
opened my heart
learned I could love
find the right partner again.
Too bad
So sad
Guess you have no one to blame.
Oh wait
Yes you do
Yourself
While I…..
I learn to be free.
January 30/19

Bitter Revenge

‘Why does it have to be that hard?’
‘Um……you really have to ask me that?
You do not have the…..hmmmm…..
to figure this out on your own?
You broke my heart.
You did more than break it.
You shattered me
myself
my confidence
for that you must atone.’
‘I didn’t mean to though. 
It sorta happened.
C’mon 
you can forgive me 
without this nonsense.’
Nonsense?
Making you work
for the love that you broke?
Tis unfair to ask you to prove it?
To prove to me
that my worth to you
is no longer negligible?
This is nonsense?
‘But babe 
I said that I was sorry.
I promised it would never happen again.’
Derisive snort.
Please boy
how stupid do you think I am?
I have heard this litany
over and over.
I know the outcome
I know this game
so yes
show me true
your love for me
bury this body
and all will be forgiven.
As he stood
forlorn
over the bundled carpet
unsure of how to proceed
I pulled out my gun.
Shot him in the head.
Dead.
Falling forward
downward
right into the hole
I had already dug.
‘I promised babe.
Why?
Why did you do this?’
Sullen ghost
standing beside unmarked grave
ready to haunt me
into the ground.
Last laugh
I do get….
for…..
circle of salt
shall keep my poor ghost enclosed
kept by my side
in bitter revenge.
January 19/19
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Warrior Queen

I hear you.
Knocking on my door.
Black beast
gaping jaws
come to eat me. 
Awake
Must stay awake
for than 
the monster cannot get me
Right?
Awake I stay
Hidden from his gaze. 
Wait….
you are the monster.
reach into my brain
pull it out
wrench free 
emotions of any sorts.
Flip free
no longer in pain
wearing a Cheshire grin.
Slow dance
reel to reel
flames in my heart
broken 
shattered.
Fuck you.
I am done little boy.
I ain’t playing no games
I am a woman
I know my worth.
My worth is more to me
than your weight in gold.
I know who I am
I know what I want
I got lost
but now am back.
Warrior Queen
Renegade
I am the Godess.
Hopeful once more
of treasured dreams
lipstick love
baby doll schemes
anything I can dream of.
 
January 2/19
 
 
 

Tamed

Filigree
gold
silver
laced together
form a chain
wound tight around my frame.
Holding me.
Capturing me.
Imprisoning me.
Scalding tears
soak the sheer cloth I wear
striping away
lies
illusions
fantasies 
grown under summer sun.
I struggle to break free.
The chain becomes entangled
knotted
warped
an ever tightening pressure
I fight against.
Breathing heavily
scared
determined
I must be gone
before master comes home.
Too late
I hear the key in the lock
there he stands
frown upon his face.
‘My little butterfly
why do you continue to try to fly?’
Chain smoothed by touch.
No longer unable to breath.
Head hung in shame.
I have been tamed.
December 9/18
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash