Word of the Day Challenge #47-Untitled Poem

Passive
I sit
watching
waiting
wondering
who will I choose next?
With whom shall I…..
ply
play
plunder
taking unto me a life force
never freely given.
Image
fluid
every changing
chameleon…..
I am not the same woman every night…..
I am not the same woman as was in your bed last night…..
I am not the same woman who woke in your arms this morning…..
I am…..
Your fantasy.
Your nightmare.
Your fancy.
I fabricate
prevaricate
feign kindness
desire
love
lust……
all to draw you in
close the trap
make you mine
locked in a box.
I utter the words:
‘Til death do us part.
None have lasted longer than a week
shall we set the clock
tick tock
for your death my dear?’
©Aug. 1/19
Picture cia Pinterest
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Word of the Day Challenge #46-Untitled Poem

No one gave you the throne
you stole it
placing upon your head
a crown of thorns
of brambles
biting
melding with
your wretched brow.
‘Bend your knee
Kiss the ring’
all words you chose to sing.
Fool I was
sucked in
bought so cheaply
false words
fraudulent declarations
of love…..
of life …..
of future…..
I was blind.
Denying
the mirage I knew was there
choosing……
to ignore
to discount
black pit yawning
deep within.
Facade slowly crumbles
spell broken
I have to wonder
what need had I
that you filled?
Rose colored lens
scratched
reality bleeds in
and I see…….
when adoration falls
when truth is seen
unadorned
braggart
bastard
egocentric…..
I walk away.
Head held high.
No longer thrumming
no longer driving
no longer in my veins
the addiction I had
the hunger you fed
gone
to bother me no more.
©July 31/19
Picture is my own taken summer 2017

Moonlit Wonder

When I was a young  girl
mama warned me
showed me true
all would try to use me
to get what they want.
Sweet words
cooed in my ear
slowly stroking my hair
feeling your hand
(all hands)
caress my curves.
Made to feel safe
made to feel secure
your promises
wrapped in golden ribbons
bubble around
protecting me from the world.
(First razor word
sliced through my heart)
Crimson blood wells
anger
rage
black
foul
turns like a knife
battlefield on my skin
mouth your inanitites
eyes flat
broken
your lies float in the air
tangible.
(There is no escape
there is no where to run
I will find you always
promised on the wind)
One…..
Two…..
Three…..
Twenty-Nine…..
Forty…..
Forty One.
I thought for sure
as I record your name
in my Book of Death
that you were the end
only to discover
that mama was right
men should never be trusted.
©July 29/19
Picture via Pinterest

Cold as Ice

Longing to
needing to
wanting to……
lead me around the garden gate
using words of glory
of love
of admiration
to turn my head
to turn my heart
to make me believe once more in love.
I hate that I am this weak
that I am filled with desire
craving your soul
needing your presence
to feel whole.
I do not want this.
I do not need this.
I reject the whole premise of affairs
wrapped in cotton candy
head above the clouds
dreaming of times better
brighter
filled with you…..
your touch
your hands
your scent
scare away the imps
carving up my heart
handing out pieces to be eaten.
Rain falls
erasing the words you spoke
cold embraces me
pulling me in
pulling me under
so I can forget the words you proposed.
Speared through to the core
watching you walk away
holding my heart in your hands
bleeding from wounds…..
you pierced me
you laughed at me
you took my love for granted
turning it into a cesspool
from which I shall never arise.
©June 29/19
Picture via Pinterest

No Heroes

Voices are raised
protests are held
men call to arms
women respond.
Children play with toy guns
pop pop pop
noises made
bullets tearing flesh.
Blood
crimson floods
raging in the streets
raging in the sheets
raging……..
Lost in time
lost to pain
simpler times
viewed nostalgically
yet……
danger arises
daily
without any to cease its call.
Complacent
sickly bony fingers
hooked into the soul of humanity
tearing
shredding
those with care
those who would make change
destroyed by those who want
who need
the status quo.
Baby laying in the streets
mom slayed
laying in her blood stained sheets
daddy has the blade
turned on himself.
Down on my knees
not in prayer
not in supplication
rending my hair
screaming in rage
screaming in pain
screaming in defeat
for I can see no end.
There are no heroes
to stand for the rest
time has come
for death to pass.
©June 28/19
Picture via Pinterest

Slick Love

I cannot forgive.
I cannot 
Oh my God….
I love you.
I need you.
I want you.
Why are you hidden from me?
It kills me
this heart wrenching pain.
How am I to forgive?
Warned I was
not to let you take advantage
and what did I do?
Played into your poker hand.
4 Aces…..
Hell cooled…..
I am with you.
Love.
Hate.
Fuck you.
How?
Why?
Tell me please…..
explain
bended knee
sneer ridden lips
pale contemplation.
Did you ever love me?
Or was this epic love story
a shiny fantasy?
 
©June 23/19
Picture via Pinterest

Not for You

You wrapped me in silk
pampered
loved
put me in the clouds
made me to feel as Queen
when in reality
I was only a cheap stopping place.
Fantasies
rose colored glasses
hunger so deep.
I needed to be made to feel
as though I was the first
the only choice.
One made with thought
insight
understanding
do not make promises you cannot keep.
I was not…..
First.
A thought.
You never saw inside of me
read the print of my skin
heard my truth.
I became one more in a long line of……
acquisitions
notches upon the bed posts
fool that I was
thinking
dreaming that I was your last one.
Rage
black
boiling
searing blood
sizzling in my veins
head thrown back
screaming in vain.
Love has turned…..
from sunshine blossoms
a wiping of my mind
of my memories.
So long
goodbye
never again will I cry.
Not for you.
©June 11/19
Picture via Pinterest