Picture Prompt #9

I beseech thee…..
look into mine wounded eyes
tears
unbidden 
scarlet trails
trace the curve of my porcelain cheek.
Mask made
never moved
sorrow 
I yearn
I cry
I am in anguish.
See me standing here…..
a phantom
a specter 
haunted ghost
haunted by the living
while 
I fear the worst.
Never have I recovered…..
Never will I recover from you…….
Broken
bleeding
heart battered
heart shattered
want to scream you name
howl your deception
to the full moon.
I gather close 
the left over parts of me
hoping to hold 
remold
remake myself
in the face of thee.
Look into mine eyes
share the wounding
the shortness of breath
yawning black pit
find yourself locked back in hell…….
sharing a cage with me.
April 16/19
Picture found by John of The Eclectic Contrarian on Pinterest.
While some might wonder about the use of this picture I actually started this poem last night and when I saw this picture this morning for some reason it is absolutely perfect to me.
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Untitled Word of the Day Poem #28

Did your heart even break?
Did tears
criss cross
score your cheeks
burning
salt tinged lips?
Did your lip quiver
when you realized no more
would I wait
would I be your toy
to play with?
Does the sunset
lack its luster
lack its glittering hue
for we are not together?
Is the sunrise
muted
colors blah
crimson the color of blood
the only one to bleed through?
Whenever…… 
Whenever I crawl free
escape your clutches
somehow
you recapture me
draw me in
submit to you I will.
Pain
heart sharp
pierces my core
to my dismay
forked tongue
lies…..
Fuck you buddy……
You are not allowed…..
You will not be allowed…..
To take me still
time has come
to sever the bonds
the ties that bind us.
Tis a lie…..
this one I tell
for love you…..
do I?
Do I not?
You will never know
’cause right now
I am telling you to fuck off.
April 5/19
Image by Dina Dee from Pixabay

My Bad

Silver silences
whispers
caress
my body
my heart 
they yearn for you.
Memories of your warmth
your kindness
intertwoven with anger
violent
scary.
It was good
than it wasn’t…..
my heart bled
rivers of tears
sodden
can I fall in love?
Missing you
I tell lies
I blindly ignore the truth.
You made me a queen…..
you made me a fool…..
you made me dance 
unto your tune.
I want you
I need you
I desire
I despise
emotions blindly assumed.
my bad
should know
time cannot be turned back.
 
March 28/19
Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

Choices

Explain to me please
how it is so easy for you 
to hurt me.
I gave you my all
my everything……
I fell in love with you
I thought you loved me too
but I discovered
only one heart was true..
Sure as hell wasn’t yours.
So…..
that means
it was mine.
Fragile…..
Broken….. 
Bleeding…..
Abused……
I loved you
(damn it I love you still)
I gave you my heart
you threw it back
as though I was a joke.
(I am in such pain)
I cry
tears 
sobs
heart wrenched free.
I want to be
yours again.
I want to have…..
sense of security
sense of pride
sense of being wanted.
You have fucked me
so badly
yet I cannot stop.
I will love you forever
in my heart.
Tears spill
no matter how hard I push you away
your memory
your touch
I am lost in you……
let me go
pull me near
just please
make up your fucking mind.
March 3/19

This Game…..

Love is…..
hate is…..
I want to 
hurt you
strike you
beat you…..
oh wait….
guess what
I already did.
Tales told
lives lived 
not what is wanted
persona appears
leading the party.
Hate that shit
hate who you become
clutching 
grasping for attention……
he is not you
he is not the truth.
He is……
what others expect 
may I ask
how are they different?
All still demanding
more 
more 
and more…..
where am I?
Still sitting at the light.
You know
I know
discretion is needed…..
you put yourself in position
rock
hard place
you know 
you have fucked it up.
Loss
of solitude
of love
of happiness
an oasis
lost
never to be refound.
I cannot play this game
any more.
Feb. 20/19
Photo by Clint Bustrillos on Unsplash

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #21

I was ready…..
ready to say
holy fuck
not only did you make my day
you made my year
my everything….
Asshole.
Forbidden
I have been
from allowing  you
back into my life
my segments…..
I was told no.
Not only my circle
rally around
there is another
showing me my worth
my destiny.
This could have been your quest.
But…..
well…..
 I was not good enough.
Is it really greener?
That grass
on the other side of the fence?
Is it really a brighter emerald??
Tell me true.
As you stand
barrier
simple fence
enough to cage a sheep
caught you in a trap
I thought you were smarter than that.
Was it worth it?
I am not like the others…..
Fuck no
talk …..
admit
talk ….
to me
seriously?
I can no longer bend.
Bow
I am done.
I loved you.
I love you,
I wanted to help.
I want to help.
I wanted to lessen your burden.
But…..
well……
Hi…..
Over here…..
good bye.
I….
I love you….
I speak words of disgrace
throw the synonyms
while your vowels penetrate
my skin.
Crimson tears
heart scarred
will I ever trust again?
 
Feb. 17/19

Untitled Poem Word of the Day #17

I clung to those memories
hoarding
pawing 
breathing fire on
like a dragon 
in its den.
I never thought to go forward
I only stayed in the past
where memories
should be looked upon
fondly
kindly
sweetly
not with a singular obsession
like I had.
Driven
unable to release you
unable to release the dream
finally
I realized
I was only hurting myself.
How I found the strength
to finally let you go
release my heart
come back to me
I will never know.
I bow my head
in reverence
for the love we did share.
I must let go
for the sake of my sanity.
Good bye. 
 
Feb. 8/19