No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard

Two weeks.
Two weeks and my child turns into a teenager.
I am not ready for this at all.
I cried this morning at work telling two of my co-workers. 😭😭😭😭
I cried telling K and she cried too.
I know that I am doing a good job.
I know that he is smart and responsible.
But he is my baby and I swear to all I know I just gave birth to him yesterday. 👶👱
 
I know that I am not alone in this but really never did I think it would be this hard.
 
He left this morning for his dad’s.
They are going on a fishing trip and the ex is wanting to leave right after he gets off work tomorrow morning.
His girlfriend will be there tonight with T.
I am trying my best not to fret and worry.
I get anxious when he is gone this long from me. 😒
Monday evening I will see him again.
 
It isn’t that I don’t trust the ex but I am blessed/cursed with a wicked imagination.
I can come up with situations that no one else would even consider and end up crying. 😥
I have talked to myself about this.
I am aware that it is anxiety.
Which I hide from T.
So I am planning a weekend of Jay.
Sun tanning. 🌞🌞🌞
Reading. 📖
Spa bath. 🛀
A full pot of coffee. ☕
Sending my anxiety away for a bit.
 
Last night T came barreling out of his room.
 
T: Mom do we have an AAA batteries?
Me: I don’t know look in the drawer.
T: I don’t see any. Are you sure that there are none anywhere else.
Me: If there are none in the drawer than  no I need to get some.
T: I won’t be able to turn my t.v. on and off. Or adjust the volumn.
Me: Use the buttons on the t.v.
T: I have buttons on my t.v. ?
 
He leaves and goes into his room.
 
T: J did you know there were buttons on the t.v.? This is cool.
 
I laughed and shook my head at the same time. 😂😂😂🤦🤦🤦🤦
Where did I go wrong?
In some cases he is so smart and has brilliant ideas. ☺☺☺
In others I wonder how he ties his shoes on his own. 😜😜😜
 
©July 21/21
Picture via Pinterest

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

11 thoughts on “No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard”

    1. Thank you. Mom said to enjoy my weekend and get ready for my teener to come back and I cried lol I will be a mess on his actual birthday which is why he and I are doing something the day before. I do not want to embarrass him on his birthday in front of his buds. It is also the reason why I am not allowed to take him to school any more. Or so he thinks I will still take him first day. I can walk with him lol go ahead or fall behind when people he knows appears (Ha ha ha ha)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You will be ok! T will be ok! He loves you and knows how hard you work for him, stand up for him, and love him. I felt the same way when my boys became teens. Who are these aliens? Things change, but it’s not all bad. You need to continue with your self care, I still recommend you trying some CBD for your anxiety. It’s safe, effective, and will not make you feel out of control. Just try a sample from some quality site (I can recommend a couple) and see if it works for you. Have a good week and try to shut off your mind for a while. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is something that I need to look into. I had some gummies which were helping as I was taking one a day and it evened out the anxiety. Just need to get some more. Not sure why I am so anxious about his going with his dad this weekend. Possibly because it was suppose to be just the two of them and now the new girlfriend is going as well. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe, and this isn’t for everyone, you should try to get to know her if she will be a part of your son’s life. My friend M is friends with the ex that bore her kids, in fact, she and her long-time boyfriend live right next-door to him, her oldest daughter and her daughters husband!

        Liked by 1 person

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