No One Told Me It Would Be This Hard

Two weeks.

Two weeks and my child turns into a teenager.

I am not ready for this at all.

I cried this morning at work telling two of my co-workers. 😭😭😭😭

I cried telling K and she cried too.

I know that I am doing a good job.

I know that he is smart and responsible.

But he is my baby and I swear to all I know I just gave birth to him yesterday. 👶👱

 

I know that I am not alone in this but really never did I think it would be this hard.

 

He left this morning for his dad’s.

They are going on a fishing trip and the ex is wanting to leave right after he gets off work tomorrow morning.

His girlfriend will be there tonight with T.

I am trying my best not to fret and worry.

I get anxious when he is gone this long from me. 😒

Monday evening I will see him again.

 

It isn’t that I don’t trust the ex but I am blessed/cursed with a wicked imagination.

I can come up with situations that no one else would even consider and end up crying. 😥

I have talked to myself about this.

I am aware that it is anxiety.

Which I hide from T.

So I am planning a weekend of Jay.

Sun tanning. 🌞🌞🌞

Reading. 📖

Spa bath. 🛀

A full pot of coffee. ☕

Sending my anxiety away for a bit.

 

Last night T came barreling out of his room.

 

T: Mom do we have an AAA batteries?

Me: I don’t know look in the drawer.

T: I don’t see any. Are you sure that there are none anywhere else.

Me: If there are none in the drawer than  no I need to get some.

T: I won’t be able to turn my t.v. on and off. Or adjust the volumn.

Me: Use the buttons on the t.v.

T: I have buttons on my t.v. ?

 

He leaves and goes into his room.

 

T: J did you know there were buttons on the t.v.? This is cool.

 

I laughed and shook my head at the same time. 😂😂😂🤦🤦🤦🤦

Where did I go wrong?

In some cases he is so smart and has brilliant ideas. ☺☺☺

In others I wonder how he ties his shoes on his own. 😜😜😜

 

©July 21/21

Picture via Pinterest