opaque shadows
skitting across my consciousness,
a scene caught from the corner of my mind.
Wondering if what I see,
what I remember
is the truth?
The fear,
the constant refusal of my mind
to acknowledge what I cannot find,
memories of a time long past.
Black holes exist
and the memories I do carry
are stories repeated
until they have become a steady verse.
Over the edge of the abyss I peer
seeking comfort
seeking the bottom where one cannot exist
holding onto the hope
that things can become
steady and true
and no longer will I have to fear
the ghosts that haunt me.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
 January 29/18


Behind this facade
of dancing eyes
and brazen smiles
hides sadness and tears.
Guilt unacknowledged
rage never released.
A desire,
nay a need,
to obliterate
to keep me from seeing
the truth hidden in my past.
of lies and abuse
that must be faced
and purged.
I have ceased to be.
I must reclaim
a life that is so askew.
Straighten about my path
and discard the crutch I carry.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 31/17


Strangled by the threads of expectation

pushed on one’s self 

until they are choking

unable to articulate their screams,

because today nobody cares.

Pushed into the rubber room,

walls plush with velvet padding

tormented screams rent the air

as demons play games.

Games of love, 

only to be shown that love is not for them.

Games of torture,

voices grinding in their ears

until they can take it no more.

Strangled by the threads of expectation

unable to bear 

this less than perfect image.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

December 31/17

Depression 1

***Pic via Pintrest***

Am not sure why but I feel as though I need to share this. I am in a really good place right now with my medication and having stopped drinking. I use my blue light daily which helps as well as taking my vitamin D. This was the start of my ‘crash’ as I call it in 2014. It is the one and only time that my depression sunk its claws so deeply into me that I needed time off to confront my demons. And confront them I did. This began a journey that ended up with where I am today and the road still unfurls before me.

Jay-lyn December 3/17

Silence spins out like a golden thread,
spider silk.
Distance no longer about space but emotion,
fears and desire combine to hold your hopes together…..
and you watch, and you wait to see if it will crumble.
Living at the seaside in a house made of sand,
a moat keeping the tide from attacking at the banks,
eating away.
Water creeps closer and closer and still you wait….
hoping that dreams can still come true?
Atop the tower, watching the beast ravage the man
a forest of wickedness and lies,
black truths.
Protect and keep your faith nigh….
what the hell is going on?
Waking every morning,
a scream upon your face.
Smitten with the devil who tortures you all night.
How did you get here?
Do you really care….
so long as the peace has been written.
July 23/14


Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper we fear

creeping through the night

phantom of our dreams.

He is not the one

we should watch for,


but the predator on the streets….

He stalks and whirls

encased in black

shadows are his home.

Creeping and crawling

into our hearts

bleeding dry our bones.

Living on our fears and hatred

gorging on all our despair.

He mocks and sidles

not even trying to repair

but dividing and punishing

all the good people here.

Believing he is a demi-god

master of all

bowing to no one.

Captain of his fallacy

chartering a path to hell

to confront the Grim Reaper

and challenge him for his crown.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

©Dec. 1/17

Jester’s Bride

The little bell jingles and jangles
hissing an alert
‘here he comes’
‘here he comes’
all bow to The Jester.
I see before me tattered lace,
my beloved is trying to outrun me
when will she learn that I am her master,
her commander,
the love of her life?
These little torments
slicing away at her life
her heart
her soul……
They will strip her of her sanity
cloaking her in my wedding clothes,
and she will forever more be mine.
Ruling together on golden thrones
her shackles will be diamond encrusted
her clothing the best tattered silks
her mind little more than a game I play.
Never mind the hollow eyes
the grayish lackluster smile
this love of mine adores me
and will some day bear mine child.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Nov. 30/17
***I found the artwork via Pintrest on the internet. Artist’s name is David Ksomthing something. I am sorry I don’t have full name. I like his work.***