No Father of Mine

It is hard.
For those who do not understand
Father’s day
is not always fun and games
there are those who do not want
do not need
to have fathers shoved in their face.
There was no caring father
not a one in my life
he was duplicitous
alcohol his drug of choice.
Abusive
liar
set me on a path of destruction
killing myself
my heart
my truth
me.
Time came
retribution was mine to take
draw you in
tempt you with your choice
I am waiting behind the door
you will pay
for the pain I finally accept.
Daddy dear
I loved you once.
Daddy dear…..
I hate you
poison you
stab you
excise you from my memories.
Were you not dead
daddy dear
I would be sitting in jail
murder on the plate
thankful
the demons got to spend.
©June 16/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Call My Name

Stepping through the mirror
hourglass dripping sand
I know not
where I am
where I need to be
I only know they call me crazy.
Sweet secrets
Independent
A wee bit loony
Well……
Mayhap a bit more
than wee
Some might call it
insanity.
Hear voices
chuckles I do
wrapping me
a web
woven
securing
keeping me
entrapped
that is what the sweet silk of your lips
does to me.
Mad as the hatter.
Seduced by hares
in love with a mouse
no one to save me
must save myself.
Decimated
claimed
reclaimed by the darkness
silver lining
I can find none
only an abyss
staring down
ready to fall
no net to catch.
Free fall.
Scream in delight
in fear 
there is no stopping
bottom 
rock or otherwise
I will hit
fears broken free.
Abused
scars of the mind
curtain
hiding what is not to be seen
am I a wizard
able to wave my wand?
I am afraid.
I know not what I sow
what I seek.
Who is here to help
to hold my hand
keep me safe?
Carved smile
skewed
cherry red
virgin’s grin
I will not be the sacrifice.
I will not willingly give my life.
Bind me not…..
tie me not…..
strength will imbue me
tearing away
roaring
screaming
fear me you will.
Somber smile
jackknife boots
assailant of the night
dread the mere whisper
of my name.
Wolf’s moon
full
pregnant
power
such as has never been seen
I have it all
you
well you have none.
Knife to your throat
trickle of blood
lips curled in disgust
no saving this beast
you are the sacrifice
I will bring you to your knees.
 
April 4/19
Image by 1632224 from Pixabay

Denial

Bitterness
seeping
oozing
black caul
wrapped around.
Words
razor sharp
sliced veins
blood running
emotions stripped down.
Cold
lifeless
unforgiving
I will never hear those words.
Sorry little one
I failed you
I failed to protect 
when I should have.
Never will she
nor he
accept the parts played
in ruination.
Concrete grey
muffling my screams 
fuck you
naught you know.
Prince…..
Pauper…..
Gleam of her eye
you took my place
forced to the rear
forced down
forgotten
unloved
unsupported
that was I.
Usurper. 
Taking my crown
my throne
stealing my home
shattering my hopes
my dreams
condemning me to this hell on earth.
Tired I am
of putting all first
my desolation
thought to be remiss.
Funeral pyre
memories shot through
conflagration. 
April 1/19
Image by Harald Matern from Pixabay

Keeper

Silver chimes
tolling
ringing
lost
muffled within scored heart.
My lip
curls in disgust
I never believed
you would do this
to us.
Mockery made
of vows
of respect
of tenderness.
I fetch
vomiting blackness
my soul evading
talons of sin
even as the devils scream
frustrated
they cannot get in.
Cavernous
hell fire
rings of sin
watched over by myself
minions
glory bleeds.
Given that special sanction
Satan’s most hated
given to me
for my disgust
my hatred
my rage
make me the worst of jail keepers.
Chained
splayed for flaying
molesters
monsters
destroyers
all fall beneath my whip.
Baby you are a bitch.
Warned you I did
told you
I was my father’s child
suicide
death
murder
I am the keeper
of all these sick desires.
 
March 28/19
Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #26

You all thought
felt
that I would bow
allow you superiority….
Never how 
I would play the game.
Blade in hand
slice
sawing silent
parting wires
crawl out
flee baby girl…..
Flee.
Head turned
see the red
green
amber
crawl slowly
forward
cadet pace
bombs do blow
alive I am.
I look.
Peer beneath
hidden
empty husks
leg sweep
flat on your ass.
I win.
Do you doubt?
For you to count
to know
means you have to understand.
Listen/Hear you won’t.
Hooked spear through the heart
silent bullets carve through the air
muted words
no longer heard
as I slash
bloody smile onto your face.
March 17/19
Image by Giacomo Zanni from Pixabay

Love Me Do

***This is not indicative of my feelings now.  Picture is one of mine taken the Summer of 2017 @ Matlock Beach Manitoba.***
Seated upon the broken pier
waves crashing
darkness falling
upon my heart
soul
mind
wrapping me once more
in nightmares
I cannot escape.
I thought that I had beaten
eradicated
destroyed
the demons
weeping
at my feet…..
tangled in my hair…..
yet…..
still they cling
suckling on the blackness
as at a bloated breast
feeding on my pain.
Wan
pale under the moonlight
a ghost upon the night
I can take no more
for my demons?
Commit to me
as no man has done
wrap me in taloned arms
claws easing beneath the skin
bleeding me
of fear
of passion
of desire.
Seated upon a broken pier
waves of blood roil before
I have lost.
Theses demons
shall always have me.
Feb. 22/19

Mannequins

He moves
panther like grace
stalking
looking
hunting
his next prey.
An art gallery
filled with mannequins
of all shapes
colors
styles.
All women.
All
with a look of terror
etched on their faces.
He calls this
‘Women Scorned’
his collection
critically acclaimed
with a dark secret.
Missing only one
a redheaded bitch
he has yet to make her pay.
She awakens
naked
tied down
masked face above her
grinning
smiling
listening to her
screaming
terror filled
knowing
he will put her down.
Under dawn’s breaking light
he positions her
red hair streaked with gold
lips a brilliant blue
one hand upon her hip
the other
coyly covering her breast.
his art
the culmination of his dream.
An army of women
so lifelike
critics and fans agree
you can feel them watching
as you walk through the room.
Each one rejected him
laughing at cupid’s arrow
only to awaken
under his care
as he reduced them
to skin and bones
forgetting their names.
December 13/18
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash