Bleak & Black

I feel like my tears are a show of weakness.

I feel like my inability to control my emotions shows me how unstable I am.

I want to walk through life

Not immune to the cruelties

Not blind to the atrocities played out

But closed from the terror of my own heart.

From the pain that still cripples it.

From the battering it has taken.

Family.

Love.

Life.

I am not complaining.

I just do not want to hurt any more.

I do not want my heart to feel hope.

I do not want to look for care.

I do not want to look for love.

For too long I bared heart

And soul

Upon this tapestry of my life

Woven between fingers blooded

Threads digging

Criss crossing

My wrists

Tethering me to the loom.

I succumb to the darkness.

Allowing it to wrap me in its warmth.

Gentle arms I have felt before.

A grim memory.

A grim lover.

One of bleak comfort.

For now I feel no more.

©March 20/24

Bless’d You Are Not

When he speaks
My words
Tangled upon his tongue
Becomes a battle cry.
Calling to arms.
Calling to death.
Calling for infants to be consumed,
Calling for women to be raped,
Calling for the humiliation and destruction of any and all who will not condone his facist actions.
He is not a puppet;
But a marionette
Whose strings tangle from my taloned fingers
Whose mouth squawks with my vile words
As he sits upon an excrement covered throne
Believing his has become a God.
The God.
Alas
Had the man paid more attention.
Had he looked further. 
Had he heard more than brutal rhetoric
He would not be sitting
A thousand demons in his loins
Awaiting
Bursting forth with violence 
Creating a world bathed not in peace
Showered not with blessings.
Covered in the blood of millions
He caws 
He struts
Vanity alive
Beneath his mask
Lies my second in command.
And his destruction 
His madness unchecked
Gives me what I need 
What I want
To once more forge ahead.

I am evil.
I am joy.
I dance before the flames.
Pray to me.
Beseech me.
And I will come.
I will reach my hand
Bathed in fires from the depths of hell
Ever burning
Ever consuming
Clasping unto me
My vile brother
My atrocious son
And upon them
I will anoint 
With holy water
Every tenet
Every commandment 
That they break.

He is madness.
He is cunning.
He is a devil made flesh.

And he is turning, turning, turning y'all upon a splintered spit.
He has made you his pawns.
He has made you his mouthpiece.
He has brought me more souls
More men
More women
Then any of my creations before.

Time will come
It always does
When a reckoning must be paid.

I am expanding hell.
I have opened the gates.
Two by two 
Y'all will walk through
The glory
The heavens
They are not for you.

God has ceased to exist.
I have risen within his place.
And stupid humanity
Has fallen so far from grace
They are unaware 
That I await.

©Feb. 7/24