Maddened Wishes

*** Please note that this poem is not indicative of how I feel.
How do they not see?
Broken I be-
cracks
up
down
head to the ground.
How do they not hear?
Wretched I be
screaming
voice taut; shrill
black vortex swirling
madness whirling
sanity
raveling; un so fast.
I cannot keep up.
Fingers grasping
ledge crumbling
losing battle
mouth open
eyes wide
tumbling-
fall to nothingness.
Weeping in failure
dreams lost
tides turn
neap
ebb
float away…..
star bright
star light…..
©Sept. 5/21
Picture is my own

Bleak Moored

Once
(pause, sigh)
I would have felt
drowning
sucked
drawn beneath burgeoning waters
breath held
lungs filled
eyes limpid
sightless
drugs
alcohol
vacuum inside
no where to run
no where to hide.
That once
was my life.
Sea of emotions
swamped
overwhelmed
high
low
no in between
no peace
no serenity
manic laughter
sawing at nerves
reverberates
through tired mind
just want to lie down
just want to let go
just want…..
Strength in spades
I have
powerless
paralyzed with fear
broken
breaking
no longer able to hold
finger tips bleeding
clutching
broken ledge
eating into
poisoned skin
painted cherry smile
even as mouth trembles
down turned.
Fraud
fake
failure
screaming through my mind
turn away from mirrored eyes
pushing down nightmared dreams
pretending
life has meaning.
©Nov. 26/20
Picture is my own