I Give Up

Time has come
excise my demon
excise the dreams
excise the fingerprint you have left
etched into my soul.
I give up.
There is no more…..
no more trying
no more helping
no more reaching
I give up.
Dreams become illusions
illusions become dreams
none
nothing
is going to come true.
When you are the one
pull me close
push me away
what should I fucking do?
I give up.
Ripped apart
reaching
desiring
oh my god.
I guess there is nothing
nothing I can say

that won’t be

turned against me.

Screw you…..

Fuck you…….
I Give Up.
©April 20/19
Picture via Pinterest found by The Eclectic Contrarian.
Advertisements

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #29

Howls
frenzied
fierce
baying
fleeing from the hunter
fleet of foot
mazes my protection.
Dancing between love
hate
fear
joy
racing for the front door.
Hoping……
I shall barricade myself
shield myself
harbor
budding love
flecked with burgeoning fear
things cannot remain
as they are.
I cannot keep from you
pain
horror
rejection
drowning with despair
disheartened
as you reach for me
ready to ply your trade.
Beneath the crescent moon
shadows cavort
devil’s prey
casket caught……
Freedom 
found my way…..
Pain 
your only way out.
©April 19/19
Image by diema from Pixabay

Blinded (Picture Prompt #10)

Moonlight
sunlight
dawn’s early rays
scented air.
Sea salt
lilacs
romance
roar of the waves
crashing to shore.
Time slows
seconds become minutes
minutes become hours
hours……days……years
when does it end?
Sand trickles through my fingers
each grain 
a specific memory of our lives.
Nostalgic
I yearn for days of summer 
strawberry kisses
wine glazed bodies
hot looks
desire sparking from the slightest touch.
Winter has fallen
dreary
grey
alone so I am.
taste of your lips
brush of your fingers
lust
love.
An affair to remember
to ruminate over
silent tears
forgotten pain…..
why oh why
am I so blind?
Copyright April 17/19
Picture via Pinterest again provided by The Eclectic Contrarian

Picture Prompt #9

I beseech thee…..
look into mine wounded eyes
tears
unbidden 
scarlet trails
trace the curve of my porcelain cheek.
Mask made
never moved
sorrow 
I yearn
I cry
I am in anguish.
See me standing here…..
a phantom
a specter 
haunted ghost
haunted by the living
while 
I fear the worst.
Never have I recovered…..
Never will I recover from you…….
Broken
bleeding
heart battered
heart shattered
want to scream you name
howl your deception
to the full moon.
I gather close 
the left over parts of me
hoping to hold 
remold
remake myself
in the face of thee.
Look into mine eyes
share the wounding
the shortness of breath
yawning black pit
find yourself locked back in hell…….
sharing a cage with me.
April 16/19
Picture found by John of The Eclectic Contrarian on Pinterest.
While some might wonder about the use of this picture I actually started this poem last night and when I saw this picture this morning for some reason it is absolutely perfect to me.

Untitled Relationship Poem #9

Cold
wet
grey days
those are the ones to rip me back
to peel the barely formed scar
rent once more
furrows in my heart.
I remember cool fall evenings
held in your arms
warmth derived
from love
passion
desire.
Tears escape
trail over gauntness
pallor
unhealthy
soul searing disgust.
I remember long conversations
of learning
of truth
of deception
of strength
of weakness
you swore you would always care
I could count on that.
Forever and anon.
Funny how your forever and anon
lasted only as long as it took for you to find sweeter lips
than mine own.
April 8/19
 

Deal with the Devil (Picture Prompt #7)

Dark
brooding 
blood streaking down
claiming the throne
throwing down the tormentor
easing your pain.
I was the light to your darkness
you were the corruption to my innocence
we found our way
we found our path
we found our love together.
Injustice.
Woe befall those who hunted us
enraged
good could outweigh the madness
the immorality
that had been yours since you were a boy.
Came in the night
they did.
Tearing me from the warmth of our bed
cowards they were
waiting…..
waiting …..
waiting…..
until you were dead.
Or so they thought. 
Raped
murdered
drawn and quartered
left hanging at the crossroads
an example for all.
Your return.
A pact with the devil
to get vengence
to make them pay.
Rage imbued you with strength.
Terror reigned
calamity
decimation of an entire court.
Sated
not sated…..
Pain whiplashes around
you sit
quiet contemplation
wondering how to get me back.
April 10/19
Picture prompt found via Pinterest.

Rescue (Picture Prompt #5)

I stand
feet stockinged
water lapping at my toes
as I try to stay above
to keep breathing
to keep living
despite
because of
instead of
the pain that infects my heart
the screams resounding in my mind
ripped silently from my mouth.
Standing a top a crooked table
upon a crooked chair
upon a crooked stack
ready to tumble
ready to break
should I move
replace
step forward
step away.
I long to reach out
to trace my fingers over your lips
to feel them caress my own
to stare into liquid chocolate
to taste the sweetness that we were
that I long for us to be again.
You swore
you promised
you vowed
you were on the level
so why did you rip my heart apart?
Deep within the woods
swamp sucking
I stand awaiting
noose at my neck
will you save me
or will I save myself?
April 8/19
Picture prompt via John @ The Eclectic Contrarian
Word of the Day Via Word of the Day Challenge