Olly Olly Oxen Free

Corner
sitting
staring out the window
leaden sky
pregnant with cold
as is my soul
my heart
now that you are not home.
Spread your wings
little bird
soar free
whispered in my ear
a means to sending me away.
Pouting
glinted ire
ragged tears
hitched rage
pain
aching
never felt this way…..
Hollowed out
messed up in the head.
You complete me!
I screamed
Don’t you dare walk away!
You did
dare that is
anger did flare
stabbed you
again and again
until there was no heartbeat
no more conflict.
Sat in the corner
painted crimson red
now you are dead…..
I have fled…..
come out
come out
where ever you are…..
©Jan. 15/20
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #82-Untitled Poem

Undulating
sinuous writhing
move around
without touching his body.
Feel the heat rise
sense the lust
grim smile upon my lips
if only he knew
if only he listened
he would not be here.
They come
all shapes
all sizes
stories different
yet always the same.
Abuse
theft
life of poverty
life of pain
life lived
over and over again.
So easy to lure
to find evidence.
Given a warning
anonymous
go away
change the behaviour
or you will die.
Laughed off as a joke
shrugged off as a prank
none of them listened
I will be frank…..
I live for those moments
when blood first wells
tang of copper in the air
smile upon my lips
flip of the wrist…..
flit around
gazelle like
stab in
slash out
criss cross
drop dead
how I feed my hatred.
©Jan. 14/20
Picture via Pinterest

Good Bye Baby

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Screaming. In my head. My voice.
How the fuck could I have done this? I have no recollection. Suddenly people were screaming at me to stop and the baby was missing…..I only had a couple oh my god what have I done?
They are going to take her from me. I know it. I did not mean to do it. I put down the car seat put the beer on the backseat heard something turned away and……oh my god how could I have forgotten that I  had put her down on the pavement. Tears fill my eyes. How am I going to live with myself? I nearly please let it only be nearly killed my beautiful baby girl. Fuck……
They think that I don’t see I don’t hear them whispering. Cunt mother drunk drugged up forgot her baby girl was in the car seat behind her vehicle. Thank goodness the stupid bitch was so hammered she didn’t hurt the baby at all. Voices ripping into me. Eyes slashing daggers pull into myself there will never be enough rage throughout the world scourging me as I scourge myself. Rub raw bleeding wounds oh god I cannot believe that I have done this.
Don’t take her from me please. Wrists now bound. Screams baby wanting her mother I try so hard to be good but it is not easy. They all know I am going to fail they tell me so. Maybe it is better this way……
Time to say good bye. Heart breaking watch parents carry her away at least family will have her I will not be a total stranger papers in front of me signed. Lean head back tears slip slowly from lidded eyes pain so intense I feel nothing.
Late last evening the body of 29 year old Laverna Moore was found in the back of Shamrock’s Bar. Police have given a preliminary cause of death as accidental overdose. Most of our viewers will remember Laverna from last month when she nearly drove over her daughter while high……In other news……
Jan. 12/20
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Devil’s Bride

I am on fire
my own hell on earth
flames lick at the corner of my soul
and I know
the Devil awaits.
I tried so hard to be a good girl
the way I had been taught
how to pleasure men
while keeping my mouth shut.
I was sent in
listen and learn I was told
report back to me when you are done.
I loathed the man who called himself my father
he was no creator
no progenitor
that I would claim as mine.
Dressed as a whore
face made up with paint
alcohol to numb the pain
but only a little
because I had to hear and repeat.
All that was said
all that was seen.
Time passed
I hardened
becoming this vicious creature
frothing with quiet rage
desperation born of no one’s care.
My first victim?
Can you call the man who sold me
who beat me
who plyed my body as trade
a victim?
The next few
well they were a revenge
for having used me as a child.
The raping of my soul
black
lurid
hatred filled
left me a brittle husk
stronger than most
for I could pretend.
I see his shape rising
smell the brimstone and smoke
the heat of the flames 
sear my body 
yet I felt nothing.
I am evil .
I am rage.
I am revenge in the night.
I am the nightmare
that small little girl
who is going to run amok
razing
destroying
creatured in blood
cavorting in your dreams.
Time for me to dance
tempt
tantalize
to move as a shadow
become the assassin
I was bred to be.
Forgotten is compassion.
Forgotten is love
Forgotten is all that is good….
Within me
vicious anger ready to play
I sidle up in your life
the last thing you will see
before the knife slices into your heart
is my face
my smile
your living nightmare come true.
I have become his bride
he my groom
no campaign needed
hell he made home
allowing me a special place
in the gloom
to play with little men….
getting my revenge.
©Jan. 10/19
Picture via Pinterest

Passionless Warmth

Eyes glitter with tears
trickle soundless over my cheek
small
sad smile
upon my lips
never thought I would still hurt.
I glimpsed your face
brief
pain speared through my heart
stomach dropped
I danced back
did not want you to see me.
Empty ache
where once you held me true
slice away
emotions
blood red tide at my feet.
Head bowed
stumbling away
I want this pain gone
I want this never ending succession
of bad choices
to come to an end.
Crystalline heart shattered no more.
Personal choice
one some may understand not
going to turn these emotions off
so I no longer feel.
©Jan. 9/20
Picture via Pinterest

Balance the Scales

Fingers grip blanket tight
squeezing eyes shut.
Whispered prayer
never answered:
maybe tonight
the monsters won’t come
please keep me safe
someone.
Dead gaze
never a smile
how could no one notice
how could they not see
the wraith walking before them?
A child
bruised
skittish
afraid of all
falling between the cracks.
Too many fingers
too many hands
too many mouths
rape a child’s soul
battered
wanting to die
indomitable will
refusing to give up
refusing to allow suicide.
Growing
becoming a woman
tables turning
hunting those who hunted
child turned avenger
all will pay.
©Jan. 8/20
Picture via Pinterest

Part One (Of What am Unsure)

She sank beneath the bubbles. Drunk on rum numbed feeling nothing. This was life. This was lie. Eyes half lidded inhaling lavender scent relaxed no one would hurt her here. It had been promised. This was a safe zone. No man could touch her without permission. Her permission. Narrowed squinting seeing which did she want to warm her bed tonight. Licking purpled lips forked tongue speak with ill intent.
They came for her in the darkness. Shadow men pulling her from her bed. Mouth sealed screams choked scratches upon their chests. Grit teeth. Pull forth from that nightmare no longer allowing any to rule her days. Her nights. Shudder sit upright nightlight shines upon the pillow bathing her with warm light. Lay back head on pillow deep breath in tears leak from sleepy eyes cold witness to damage done her him as child……
Cinnamon scented air…..hazed gaze lips ruby red place hand upon breast swear not to hurt her again so they always say. Locked in nightmares. Has no way forward. There is never a way backward. Lost cesspool bottomless drug deadened eyes helpless raggedy ann drool upon lip please whisper for freedom desperate measures howl with silent despair. Memories eclipse pain……pain deadens memories……unfaced……unwanted……
Howl at the moon. Full blood red no one can fool the riot. Lupine sleek flow with shadows stand tall against evil backdrop of stone onyx protector befouled rumored rogue silvered blade licked steel. Kneel before you my queen hear me in the depths of your angst your pleas for death overridden I serve I swear awaken. Pulled forth to now to never eyes widen with pain with success blooded knees a cross to be borne.
Jan. 4 2020