Cold Comfort

How do I do it?
How do I get through the day?
When inside
I have felt death's cold hand
I have stared into his pitiless eyes
letting go of my heart.
You want me to smile.
You want me to comfort you.
You want.....
you want.....
you want.....
behind closed doors
you do not want to be
to hear the screams
to see me fall
crumpled
clutching a broken teddy bear.
You wonder if life is getting on
and I wonder
when pain is all you know
holding you in its nettled embrace
do you begin to live?
Insensitive.
Ignorant.
I cannot.....
comfort you.
I cannot.....
smile as you suggest.
Grey skies
reflect my state of mind
slate cold
shards of rain
slashing through
as I wander.
No destination.
No desire.
Nothing.
Only darkness
a bleak cold future
that is what I see.....
And how are you?

©Jan. 13/22

Coiled Sanity

My chains
No less binding
Being made of gold
Rather then silver
Each link forged
With a diamond clasp
Evil tainted
An object
A possession
For you.
Like a fool
I thought.....
You said I was special
You said there was no other
You said
So many things
Untruths
Half lies
I never knew
Which man I would see
Raging
Easy going
Full of laughter
Snarling with disbelief
At my so called stupidity.
What did I do?
To make you a monster?
Where am I lacking?
For you to have fallen out of love?
My heart breaks.
My silence grows.
Into it.....
Your melodious voice
Malevolent
Digging beneath my skin
My sanity
Fills the empty hours
Berating
Taunting
Vile words
Shredding
Flaying
Until I am no more
A bloody mess knelt before.....
Vacant eyes
Watching
Your mouth
Bleeding
So busy were you
Slashing at me
Swords of words
You failed to see supper's new ingredient.
They will say it was justified.
They will say it could have had no other outcome
Unless it was I
Who had ended up dead.

Dec. 29/22
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