I use to think, to believe, that pain was the foundation
that happiness and flowers were a fairy tale;
Words I read on a page, that made no sense
trapping me in a whirlwind of pain.
As I grew and began to see the world anew
I realized your sickness, your disease
Alcohol, a vice to others
the voice whispering in your ear.
You hurt me, your inability to see
alcohol was your mistress but what the fuck about me?
Deadened to expectations, accepting only what I could see
my lip curls now in disdain, as I realize;
A man you were not, a father you could never be
a childhood destroyed,
never once an apology.
I spit on you,
your sacred memory.
I hope you burn in hell
accompanied by the demons
who damned you in life.
Sittin on the end of the pier
staring out at wind swept waves
Curling and racing
tearing away my pain.
I don’ need no love
I don’ need no cares
All I need is belief in myself
And than I shall rise above.
You sought to tear me down
The beauty and truth I see
because it did not confirm
With your reals.
Who gave you the right?
The ability to judge and deem
that only your way is the path?
And those who do not follow
you make undone.
I sit on the end of the pier
wind dancing in my hair
Watching the glories of the day
as the sun rises high above.
I trusted you at a time when all deferred
holding your hand in a time of terror
as you did loudly proclaim
your sincere innocence.
I followed your lead, pushed them all away
locking myself away in the dark
Your words were like whips stinging
your lips stroked with velvet steel
your caresses desirous to me.
I lost myself within your reason
I lost myself within your greed
I lost myself within your desire
for it was how I had to pay.