Here or There

The water was warm. Too warm. Sun baked. No one knew she was out here.
 
Laying on her back. Staring up at the night sky. Rounded…..amazed always by the sphere that was Earth. Looked above. All those glowing pretty rocks. Wish here. Wish there. Wish everywhere. The Percocet she had taken mellowed her out. Deep breath in…….sigh it out…..there was no protection. Floating…..dead man’s float so ironic…..so easy to ignore the pain here. To pretend nothing was wrong.
 
Vast void. Within. It felt as though she was free falling. Tumbling over and over. Did it ever end? Screams of pain rage anguish unheard by the world. With head under water holding breath liquid silk over face panic breath gasped sit upright how does she go on?
 
Fire light on the shore. Beckoning warmth. Laughter voices of friends float out to her. Sitting letting water move her weightless body this way that way. Wood scented air memory scratching at the surface unexpected pain dive beneath the water come up deep breath dive below again. Toes barely touching pushing hair back from face she spots the shooting star. Spectacular trail of golden dust make a wish deep breath in death breath out…..
 
Phantom…..spectre…..hovering on the outskirts of life…..pain encompasses all how to trust when trust was not something afforded but torn away…..
 
Tears shed meld with water lapping around her head. She stares at the moon above. Lighting a pathway. Only she can decide…..live……or……
 
©Jan. 4 2020
Picture is my own

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

40 thoughts on “Here or There”

  4. You are as much an accomplished photographer as you are a writer. Your photos are beautiful!
    This is a deeply profound peek inside a tormented, medicated mind, the journey they take you on with them leaves you fighting for breath along with them. The shooting star lifted my imagination up and out of the water, I guess that was my own psyche choosing to live…
    Wonderful storytelling loved it. xx♥♥♥

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    2. Thank you so much. Suddenly a thousand voices are clamoring for my attention and coming out in different ways. I have a few I am keeping to dole out lol just keep my audience a little hungry😂😝🤓💜

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      2. Thank you. I could say the same. I am keeping fingers crossed that with going back to work this week is not going to put a dint in my writing. But I certainly wish I could win lotto. This staying at home and writing is awesome. 🤓💜

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      3. It shows in your stories and poems, you are exploring different aspects of your life and bringing it to life in a way that makes us want more. and…I’m working on it I promise 😛 ♥♥♥

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      5. I am having a similar problem, all last week I was able to post prolifically, but now, real life is applying all of it’s usual pressures, plus the boy is not as well as he could be and sleepless nights are currently playing a huge part in my life. He is well, just not as well as I need him to be. Something is off, just a small something but it upsets a really fine balance. No matter, I will sort it I’m sure! ♥♥

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