Peer Behind the Curtain

*******Preface this is not how I am feeling at all. I was reading another blog this morning when the words written struck a cord. This poem is a result of that. Describing the time leading up to the Kaboom of 2017*****

Look

how can she know

what it feels like

to be trapped

to be ensnared

in sticky strands

black anguish

struggle for freedom.

Look

not at the cover

what is beneath

scarred

cracked

broken

each piece

a little out of line with each other.

Look

see her smile

her joy in life?

Look

peer through black mimosa

see the child sized woman

wracked with doubts

demons

cackling

dancing around

a wicked game of bully be

from which there is no escape.

Look and see

bottles lined up

alcohol

pills

bitter retreat

dulled numbness

run from the past

from memories brutal and true.

Enough tears

enough pain

enough of everything…..

a bottle later

the voice still screams

shaking

unable to see

crying

do not let anyone come near

do not let anyone hear

leave it be

death maybe the only way out.

Look

found

love within self

truth within self

myself 

in the herself I use to be.

©Jan. 28/20

Picture is my own.