You watch me, standing on the edge of the abyss
not hearing, not listening to the words that you cry
I only hear the voices within me,
criticizing, mocking drawing blades across my soul
making me weep.
I lose myself in blackness and despair
I see no one in the mirror,
Just the shadow of myself.
And I weep, and I rage, but no one does keep.
With fragile thoughts and moonbeam whispers
I claw my way forward to the light
I will not allow the beast to claim me
I will not allow it to beat me out of spite.
Your embrace is welcomed and needed
but I feel your fright; to understand the devil I face,
One must be willing to see beyond the norm
and to writhe with the pain of history past
To subjugate yourself to loathing and misunderstanding.
But I stand before you, proud as I can be
I will not bow, I will not cower.
I will not beat this illness, for its claws are deep within
but I will learn to live with it, and maybe;
soothe it to sleep.