Word of the Day Challenge Poem #32 (Untitled)

When unfettered
when time unfolds
peace comes to heart
desirous new needs
felt
found
I am who I am meant to be.
Confident?
One might think
yet I am not.
No longer is there a voice
no longer do I berate
but critical
oh yes
I struggle with…….
acceptance 
of what I see in the mirror.
Afraid?
No longer
never again
for I am strong
for I am love
for the nightmare has been banished
sent on its way.
Sometimes though
in the dark of night
the nightmare returns
causing me to scream in fright.
To beg 
for help that never arrives.
Lost?
Never again
no longer.
For I know who I am
I know the path that I must walk
how to get where I need to be.
Once I was…..
lost that is…..
wandering
alone
unaccepting
hiding from all the pain.
All of this…..
the ideas
the emotions
foreign to me.
What I have found
a bone deep happiness
settling in
taking over.
Once there was pain.
Once there was fear.
Once….. 
I could only numb
my mind.
©May 19/19
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Monster under the Bed

Writhing beneath
hidden
black ooze
creeping
clinging
coating the walls
as escape is sought.
Mind tortures
memories
bitter tasting
invade all aspects
pushing me into a corner
teeth bared
rabid with fear
trying to protect myself.
Falling down the rabbit hole
hallucinations
dream like state
wrought in fear
sanity of mine
it is at stake.
I am lost
deep beneath
wandering
seeking sunshine
life
not this death of soul
of heart
of humanity
changing me to a monster
the one that I never sought.
Deep within this vault
secrets
desires
dreams
whisps of nightmares
all stirred together
making the cauldron
boil and bubble.
Vicious screams
ripping through the night
no longer am I simple
no longer am I that girl
I have become…..
the monster under the bed
the one feared 
the one seeking justice
the one lurking in the mirror
the one burnishing the silver blade.
©May 15/19
Picture via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge Poem #31

***Please note this is not indicative of how I am feeling now.***
Have you ever……
tried to run from the voice in your head
the melancholy beating in time with your heart
the cesspool of venom curdling in your stomach
words
vile
coarse
flowing through your veins
replacing blood as your sustenance?
Taken pills
lifted the bottle
tried to numb the inside
facade of smiles shown to the world…..
to those who say they care…..
yet cannot see the sorrow
the pain
the anger
the sadness
permeating you.
Shroud of grey
all you want to do
is scream
is cry
is sever the life line
slash open the heart
excise the blackness
eating away at your soul.
Run as fast as you can
never look back
head straight for the exit
the one in the back……
escape is imminent
you can see the path
try to keep the hoards your back
for they will
with all their power
stop your release
sending you back
consigning you to the black mire
consigning you to sit once more
in the darkness.
©May 9/19
Picture via Pinterest

Picture Prompt #3

Snarls dominate
shadows hidden in the blindness
blood spews
neck is twisted
victory brief 
as another comes in from the dark.
Nightmares
insidious 
crawl in my mind
screaming silence
the pain in my heart
has not eased
since we came apart.
Protector
calming the beast
nurtured in my breast
my soul
your hands kept me sane.
Without 
I slowly diminish
giving into the imps 
struggling to rise above
falling short
lapsing into pain
no drug
no alcohol
can make it abate.
Strength 
derived from how you kept me
sheltered
driving away the sorrow
driving away the murderous beast
seeking to control me.
You had kept me
safe
sane
cherished 
feelings I have now lost
since you went away.
April 7/19
Prompt provided by John of The Eclectic Contrarian

Shadowy Beings

A mockery made
taunting 
bruising
tainting
any love
any desire
any passion 
that I may have.
Fierce waves
pounding the sand
forlorn
I stand upon the pier
staring
tears carried away by the wind.
No one can hear me
screaming
raging
rending my hair
my clothes
as I appeal to anyone
to help me end this pain.
Never did I imagine
a greyness
so subtle
so permanent
so insidious
as the one enveloping me
bleeding me
could take hold
embrace me within its cold reach
patient to wait
for my pledge.
Frigid darkness
fighting no longer
allow the waves to batter
break my body upon the shore
as I give in once more
to those shadowy beings
feeding upon my soul.
March 13/19

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #25

***Please note that I am not feeling like this now. ****
Silence
sharp
enveloping
blankets the room
shadows
black as sin
creep around the bed
under
along the walls.
Huddled beneath the blankets
afraid to even breath
monsters
they hide not in the closet
not beneath the bed
locked deep in my head.
Unable to move
wrapped
frozen with fear
small gasps
praying
hoping 
fingers crossed
they will not know I am there.
I have fled
run from
the darkness that bides
within
mind and soul
where it came from
how it stays
I do not know.
Each time the monsters come closer
they devour…..
my being
my confidence
my very existence
until
I am no more.
Feb. 28/19

Love Me Do

***This is not indicative of my feelings now.  Picture is one of mine taken the Summer of 2017 @ Matlock Beach Manitoba.***
Seated upon the broken pier
waves crashing
darkness falling
upon my heart
soul
mind
wrapping me once more
in nightmares
I cannot escape.
I thought that I had beaten
eradicated
destroyed
the demons
weeping
at my feet…..
tangled in my hair…..
yet…..
still they cling
suckling on the blackness
as at a bloated breast
feeding on my pain.
Wan
pale under the moonlight
a ghost upon the night
I can take no more
for my demons?
Commit to me
as no man has done
wrap me in taloned arms
claws easing beneath the skin
bleeding me
of fear
of passion
of desire.
Seated upon a broken pier
waves of blood roil before
I have lost.
Theses demons
shall always have me.
Feb. 22/19