T and me we had a really good week this week. A small blip on the radar Thursday evening when he melted down at bedtime. Now I am not entirely sure what caused it other than T had had 2 or 3 cans of pop before coming back home from the Ex’s. He insisted that he was not tired. He screamed. He sulked. He yelled. I turned the lights out, determined to put him to bed and get to sleep myself. With much caterwauling he made his way into his bedroom. He kicked the bed. He made a lot of noise. I finally came out of my room and went into his. I told him that enough was enough. That he was being rude and disrespectful of the upstairs neighbor. He did not care.
On Thursday I went to the city with V. Because T had been so good this week, and I had not had to nag about chores overly much I bought him a Lego Monster Truck kit and a small stuffed pig. He wants a pig as a pet. My obvious answer to a real pig is now so I thought a stuffed one might appease that desire for awhile. Well, and I am not proud of myself, but I got angry. I tried to take Mr. Piggy away from T. I told him that in the morning I was taking both the pig and the Monster Truck away from him. That I had bought them because he had been so good this week. I went back into my room and closed the door.
As I lay there I could hear T making noise. I was going to ignore it when I realized that he was calling mom. And not quietly. Understand that he is very close to the ceiling because I foolishly purchased a loft bed for him. A couple of more years before I have to replace it. So I was worried that the neighbors were going to hear him. It was now 11:30 and I was getting cranky. I climbed the ladder and stood looking at T. Whose face is tear stained and he is sniffling away. He wanted to tell me that he was sorry. That he should not have acted the way that he had. He loved me. I told him I loved him too, gave him a kiss and told him to go to sleep.
That was not our entire week. Nor was I about to let it color what had been an amazing week. We talked and laughed. Friday T once more was the voice of reason as I tried to navigate the cloverleaf. ‘Remember mom think of girly shit.’ Okay, he did not say the last part it was more kittens and unicorns but I know that that is what he was thinking. Our week was made of prisms of light and that black cloud scuttled across the sky quickly and with no lasting effects. Previously I would have been gnawing over the small blip instead of focusing on all the good. So once more I am showing growth and not bashing myself for getting angry and thinking that I was a bad mom.
Wednesday night. I made dinner and T did not eat all of it. Decided that it was not something that he liked. I made Swanson’s Garlic Shrimp and I have always enjoyed it. When I took his bowl to the sink I told him that I would not be making him anything else to eat. He agreed. I was writing when T asked me if I could get him some more orange juice. I said sure as I was getting up to refill my water anyways. When I opened the fridge my eyes fell on the apples and I thought to myself what a nice snack. So decided to cut up the apple. Gave T his orange juice and went and sat back on the couch.
I was happily crunching away when I felt laser beams searing through my consciousness. I glanced over and T was staring at me with disbelief. I was not sure what I had done. He continued to stare at me and I swallowed the mouthful that I had.
‘Where’s my snack? I told you I was hungry.’
Oh yes, this than lead to my assertion that I did not hear him when he told me that he was hungry. T was positive that I had chosen to ignore him. He wanted something to eat. I kept asserting that he could get his own snack. He began to get really annoyed and fussy. And whining. I finally did begin to ignore him. Which of course made him even angrier. Of late, instead of reacting to how T is being I will give him a choice of how I am going to respond and his behaviour chooses said action. This time whining at me=me ignoring him.
Finally I could take it no more. I did not snap. I did not yell.
‘That’s it T. The kitchen is closed at 7 p.m. and it is now 7:03 p.m.’
I looked over and a smile began to grow on his face. The whining ceased. And he began to harass me about there not being a closed sign. I stuck to my guns and kept repeating that the kitchen was closed. He kept haranguing me about a closed sign. Finally in exasperation I said ‘Fine you want a closed sign. I will make a closed sign!’ I was halfway off the couch when it hit me. Once I was up and making up the sign T was going to use the ‘well seeing as how you are up’ argument and I sat right back down. When I accused him of such devious plotting he was shocked. As if the thought had never crossed his mind.
By the time we were done tears rolled down both of our faces we were laughing so hard. I did make up a closed sign. T took it down and wrote open on the other side and tried to rehang it. As he did that I got down two bowls, and the cereal. Instructed T who had no idea what I was doing to get the milk out of the fridge. Poured two bowls and handed him the milk to put back. Walked away and casually mentioned he could bring his own bowl.
Our second laugh was a complete misunderstanding. We had been talking about Lucky and how old she was. I was trying to figure it out when mom messaged me. Came up with 11-13 years old. Chatted with mom a bit when I told Tember that she was proud of him. And he looks up at me:
‘mom she is old.’
I was stunned. I mean I know that mom is old, she is my mom but really! How rude. I told T that as well. And he stared at me like I was crazy. And than it dawned on me. He was talking about Lucky.
More laughter. More tears. More good memories made. The dust up Thursday night has become a rarely seen beast, like the Lock Ness Monster.