Death’s Desire

The masks I wear
Beneath a face
None see
None realize
Is yet another masque
Ruler of this domain
Laughter maniacal
Sending chills
Down my back
Clutching at the bars
The door lockless
No escape
Only hell beneath my feet
It is not easy
Day after day
To play this person I am not
Assuring all
Never again will I fall
Never again will I fail
Yet knowing
There is no net beneath my feet
No current upon which to rise
Blood let
Seeps red crimson
Pain is gone
For me at least
Yours is just beginning.

I am sorry

©Feb. 19/20
Picture is my own

Word of the Day Challenge #87-Untitled Poem

This is not in any way shape or form of how I am feeling now.

welling to the surface
tying me in place
fear holding me
I want to come back
I want to be me
not this wraith you see.
In my mind
a vacuum
painted scarlet with terror
half remembered dreams.
Or are they dreams?
moving listlessly
path before
smaller and smaller
head down
I cannot find the sun
I cannot find the warmth
I reach for.
deadly in its recurrence
tearing me down
to the ground
driving me to perfection
if only so I am still useful
so people will still like me.

Cyclical depression can become.
sounding so like your own
roaring all your wrongs.
There really is no escape.
There really is no hope.
All I can do is carry on
smile upon my lips
fear upon my heart.
See not my pain…..
See not my terror…..
see only…..
the facade I show.
©Feb. 19/20
Picture is my own
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