Walk My Way

I see
side long glances
hushed whispers
know you point
know you wonder
why I stay
when he so flagrantly wanders.
You do not see the bruises
you see not the bites
the brutal words
tearing through soul
tearing through dignity
threats upon son
lusted looks upon daughter
stay I must
protect them I will
if it cost me
my last breath.
Wooed
loved
strangled
steps of enslavement
money
bled straight through
tied to him
there is no fleeing
no letting go
for should I
children
near and dear
no stability would be had.
Heaved breath
timed tears
blood falls
splatters
went for me
feared for life
hooded eyes
look at me not
until you walk
more than a mile
in these shoes
than come to me
judgement accepted
I promise thee.
©May 14/20
Picture via Pinterest

Let’s Get The Party Started

I awoke yesterday morning with one thought…..what the hell was I thinking asking to work 5 hours on Thursday? I mean seriously I cannot. Plan was go into work and see if there was any possibility of someone taking my 5 hour shift. I would work it if I could not but fingers were crossed…….
I spoke with my supervisor to make sure she would be ok with my giving the shift away. She was. I contacted one co-worker who did not get back to my until after 3 so I moved on to the next one. A wonderful young lady. Bubbly. Sweet. She had been sick in the early part of the work and had lost both of her shifts. With fingers and toes crossed I called her. And…….I told her I loved her over and over and over when she told me that she would take the shift. So……as of yesterday at 6 p.m. I began holidays.
There was a debate…..internally…..should I shop or go home and come back tomorrow? Decision home I went and shop today.
Woke up at 5:15 a.m. when the alarm I forgot to shut off went off. Rolled over and went back to sleep until 7. As I drank my coffee I again vacillated……shop now or……no so I threw on a pair of jeans and hoodie and was out of the house by 9.
Will admit travelling the arrows caused some dizziness as I tried to figure out what I needed and where it is. Still forgot to get my olive oil. And frozen chicken drumsticks. I think I may have done my shop a little backwards but I did my best to stay on the straight and arrow path. (LMAO I could not resist) Got to the till began to unload and realized……I forgot the vitamins. Finished unloading raced to the vitamin aisle and back.
I wanted to thank my co-worker once more so I bought her a 2 pack Jumbo Reese Pieces Peanut Butter Cups with Reese’s Pieces Pieces in the peanut butter. To die for. She was on break when I was leaving  so I had to back track with my cart to leave where someone could keep eye on it and I hunted her down . Thanked her once more and fled the scene. I wanted to get home.
I am a freak. I openly and honestly admit this. I take it as a challenge to fit as much as I can into my bags. In part because I really do not want to make that many trips to and from the car to apartment. Other is…..I just really enjoy doing it. It calms something in my mind. Weird I know. And than when I get home I do it all over again. And make it all fit. Again soothing to me.
I am now ensconced on the couch. No plans to do anything else today other than maybe nap. We are going to have a food day.
Lunch: Creamy Chicken Alfredo (Frozen)
Snack: Cheese Garlic Bread
             Vegetable Spring Rolls
Supper: Shrimp & Steak
              Corn on the Cob
              Salad
Let the holidays begin.
Reading.
Writing.
Loving myself……
this is what happiness is made of.
May 14/20
All pictures are mine 🙂
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